Procrastination Destination: Wesleyan on the ‘Tube

We’re here for you, avoiding our own work so that you can procrastinate with us. 

Welcome to Part One of Procrastination Destination: Spring ’15 edition! In less than three hours, reading period will end, and we’re basically all screwed. But, if you need something to tide yourself over before the Primal Scream tonight, we’ve got you covered.

YouTube videos about Wesleyan extend to more than just “Party on Fountain” and “How To Do The Michael Roth.” Click through for six more weird/terrible YouTube videos by Wesleyan kids/admins of the past and present.

“Kleinberg at the Center” (August 21, 2012)

So like, I know, I know that I shouldn’t rag on the Center for the Humanities, more affectionately called “CHUM,” because they put on a great lecture series and do some cool stuff, but this video.. This video haunts me. Who did the splicing? Why?? Why is CHUM Director Ethan Kleinberg in a different room for every half-sentence???

“What’s the Difference” (May 13, 2011)

I always forget about this one. But basically, in this video, a DKE bro, an Eclectic bro, and a book nerd battle rap trying to sound better than everyone else and essentially come to the implied conclusion that they all suck because they have white male egos. Consequently, the book nerd has the best flow and sounds like Weird Al.

“xoxo, The ACB” (April 8, 2012)

This is kind of sad, given that it reads kind of like Yik Yak now. How the fuck did I find this anyway? Why was this one of my suggested videos?

“Tonsil Hockey – ‘Cartoons’ (Official Music Video)” (May 16, 2013)

Wesleyan pop-punk at its finest. Tonsil Hockey is Jason Katzenstein ’13Adrien DeFontaine ’13, and Zak Malik ’14, and this video is much better summed up by Zach here.

“We Are Wesleyan” (June 11, 2010)

So, truly, none of the stereotypes about Wesleyan have changed since 2010. Am I laughing or crying?? Is this just because I have thirty pages to write in the next two days?? Also, peep a yung Dylan Marron ’10 in this one. So yung.

“No Swipes” (February 2, 2015)

I couldn’t not end with No Swipes. These guys emailed us a while back and we didn’t post it, but now, here we are, three months later. No Swipes is a parody of “No Type” by Rae Sremmurd and is the brainchild of sophomores Ryan Breen, Jesse Cohen, and Henry Kinder. I am maybe 85% sure that they know this video is ridiculous, since they keep breaking on camera and the description they wanted us to use for this was as follows:

“Wondering what became of those clowns filming a rap music video in the snow on Andrus? Just remember, it may be cold outside, but it also may be time to reevaluate going to star and crescent everyday for the past 2 weeks… or else you might end up like these unfortunate fellows.”

Fun fact: I did see them filming this on Andrus. I laughed audibly on my way home. This one is about having no meal swipes left, and is something that probably most of you can relate to right now. Cop a guest swipe from your friends before you watch this one.

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To go further into the rabbit hole, our ‘youtube’ tag is actually a lot more extensive than I thought it would have been, but then again, this site goes back years.

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