The Drunken Goods Promises to Satisfy All Your Late Night Needs

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Insomnia Cookies is the greatest thing to happen in the 21st century hands down. For the past two years, I’ve heard bougie students complain: “Why don’t we have a Chipotle near campus? Where is the Starbucks? Why can’t I have freshly baked cookies delivered to my door when I’ve high out of my mind at 2 am on a Saturday night and I’m halfway through a documentary about Scientology?”

Have no fear Wesleyan community. The Drunken Goods is here to answer your prayers. For more info on how to get your late night fixing, hit the jump.

A  startup of sorts created by Linsin Smith ’16 and Celia Joyce ’16, the Drunken Goods was was built for “drunchies, munchies, and late night sugar cravings.” They promise to deliver freshly baked cookies of a wide variety to wherever you are on campus, and are open Thursday-Saturday, 10pm-2am.

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“Celia and I both really like to bake and we decided over the summer to try a baked goods delivery business,” said Smith. “It really came together in the fall though, our first weekend was Halloween weekend.”

How successful has the new venture been in competing with other late night munchie hotspots and drumming up business?

“It’s been great actually!” said Smith. “Posters have been really effective and we also use Facebook and Instagram to send out our daily menus.”

Just text in orders to (973) 647-8161 or (781) 733-7462, (you can pay with Venmo or cash), and the duo will arrive at your door, backpack full of treats in tow. Prices are usually 1 cookie for $1, 10 for $9, and 1 brownie for $3, 2 for $5 (there’s also a $1 delivery fee). I can personally vouch for the brownies; I heated one up for 25 seconds and it was perhaps the crystalizing moment of my Saturday night, where my body became one with my mind and I transcended reality.

This is a good startup idea. Someone probably should have thought of it sooner. Falafel and Whey simply don’t cut it if you are craving those late night sweets.