Wesleyan Sends Early Decision Letters to the Class of 2020 (HOLY GODDAMN SHIT)

Well folks, for the past four years, I’ve been Wesleying’s dedicated Early Decision Correspondent, and alas, the time has come for me to make my last Early Decision acceptances post and pass the torch on to some other bitch who likes combing through Wesleyan’s College Confidential threads (Lord help that poor soul).

Today, admissions sent Early Decision letters to the class of 2020. That means that the majority of these lil prefrosh were born in 1998, and a couple were born in ’99 (maybe even one or two in 2000?!?!?!). DAMN. WE’RE A BUNCH OF ARCHAIC MOTHERFUCKERS.

I wish I had something really interesting to say here, but I’ve already mocked WesAdmits threads, shit on College Confidential prefrosh, and embedded a fuck ton of tweets in other posts over the years. And as a senior, I feel like I should give ~*~moving~*~ and ~*~poignant~*~ advice to all the innocent, starry-eyed 17-year-olds dreaming about meeting MGMT on campus and dropping HIMYM references left and right.

Here’s all I’ve got: Welcome to Wesleyan, class of 2020.