Procrastination Destination: Kikaida

I write this from my desk, eating the 1.3-pound bag of candy I bought from Weshop yesterday, wishing it were easier to be a real person. But let me tell you about this fucking television show.

If I had to explain it in one sentence, Kikaida is about an android who was built to fight the forces of evil (in this case, an organization called DARK led by Dr. Gill who plays this ridiculous Evil Flute that’s built into his staff, which he has because he is evil), and the forces of evil are OTHER androids who are all based off of animals but are very obviously just dudes in foam suits. The evil androids have names like “DARK Destructoid Blue Buffalo” and I’m pretty sure they’re all voiced by the same dude. The special effects are horrible. The episodes are so formulaic. But it’s so fucking good.

I grew up in Hawaii, where all the middle-aged Japanese dudes have this bizarre nostalgia for 70s Japanese television. My dad is one of those middle-aged Japanese dudes. Kikaida was his favorite TV show when he was growing up, so naturally, we had all the DVDs from the first season lying around the house.

just look at this fucking costume, just LOOK AT IT

just look at this fucking costume, just LOOK AT IT

At some point last week, I woke up with the theme song in my head and decided that I wanted to revisit it, and discovered that it is EVEN BETTER than I remember it being. Honestly. Just look at that video thumbnail. Mount Fuji in the background? A ridiculous costume? How can it get any better??

I was able to find the first seven episodes on YouTube, but only the first seven. I feel like the rest is doomed to be stuck on the nine-piece DVD box set. (In other news, I am very seriously considering buying this box set.) The sequel series is Kikaida 01, which I think is not as good as the original, but some of that is also available on YouTube.

Another story for the fucking books: when I was in 11th grade, my precalculus teacher decided that he wanted to stop teaching us math and instead teach us a dance to the Kikaida theme song INSTEAD of math so that we could do a flash mob for that year’s homecoming. We spent every day learning this for an entire week. Teen Me is somewhere in that throng. This is a real thing that I did. During class time.

Ridiculous. Fucking ridiculous. My teacher is the ridiculous guy in the front. The people yelling “Yeah Scott!” are talking about the dude in the front who is the second most ridiculous guy in the front. This is absurd. I hope it helps you through the last day of finals, at least a little bit.