Weird Old Wesleyan: Olla Podrida, Captioned

“Got this dank shit from Colorado over break. It’s pretty chill. Can I borrow your baseball mask though? I need to send my mom a selfie”

Incoming class of 2020, you are not worthy. Well into the cyborg age, we are all not worthy. We could never be cool enough to be photographed in sepia. Never. Wes used to be worthy. To see this, one only needs to journey up to the 3A stacks and check out Olla Podrida, Wesleyan’s old yearbook that was discontinued after 147 years in 2009 because I guess people stopped buying them during the greatest economic crisis since the Great Depression.

Basically, I was bored and did exactly this. And oh lordt was I rewarded. I was so inspired that I “couldn’t even.” What I could do though was add historically irrelevant captions to every single one of my fave photos from Olla Podrida and compile them into this post for a target audience of #millenial #weskids. Also, found a photo from the 1978 yearbook and we def think it’s Michael Roth ’78 so that’s cool. SEE THE GALLERY:

I think this is in WestCo?

“I hear your hea-art beat to the beat of the drums”

Idgi can u pls explain

“Got this dank shit from Colorado over break. It’s pretty chill. Can I borrow your baseball mask though? I need to send my mom a selfie”

“That is the WRONG My Chemical Romance song, also like stop playing that this party is too indie for MCR”

Yeah, we’re totally gonna give this Lin-Manuel guy an entire page in the yearbook, he seems pretty cool. ALEXANDER HAMILTON SOMETHING.

“This baby supports Bernie Sanders! This photo WILL get on Bernie Sanders Dank Meme Stash FB Group!”

“My lifestyle mag piece on the central CT athlete aesthetic”

Straight outta Animal House.

“Hey I’m Michael Roth and I have a degree in the History of Psychological Thought. I bet this degree is so marketable in this day and age. I could totally see myself writing books, tweeting, and taking #selfies with students”