Wesleyingiversary: Bff hermes Tells All

“Lulzzz k.”

hermes likes Sour Patch Kids.

hermes likes Sour Patch Kids.

This is part of our series of Wesleyingiversary interviews. You can find the rest here.

Ah, yes. The last of the interviews for the 10 year blog birthday. These were really fun, but the most fun was when I caught up with my blog bff hermes, who left us, Wesleying, this past Spring, and always liked Sour Patch Kids. Basiquely, hermes was the only blogger I knew personally before Wesleying’s rapture birthday. We ate orgasmic food at Wesleyan’s first pop-up restaurant, drank juicebox wine at Metro Movies while watching a shitty romcom, and kinda sorta talked about open letters about open letters.

But hermes was very prolific on the site before we became blog bffs. She did fucktons of THESISCRAZIES, wrote about Wesleyan admissions, and started our Wesleying Year in Review series. Read more for our interview:

So Wesleying is 10 years old. That’s ancient in blog years right?

hermes: I mean, considering that I was going into 7th grade on August 23, 2006, yeah that’s old AF.
wilk: Word. I was just thinking about how that’s right around when Buy U a Drank came out.
hermes: I’ve been listening to the song Cyclone recently by Baby Bash and that’s been taking me baaaack.
wilk: Omg a classic

Did you read wesleying before coming to wes?

hermes: Yes yes yes. Obsessively. My mom found it around the time I got in (I was an ED1 kid), and she told me I *had* to join Wesleying when I got to campus, so that happened. It was kinda surreal meeting everyone IRL the first time because I didn’t really get at the time that internet people can be different than their real-life personas (COUGH ZACHARY COUGH).

What was it like coming in at the end of the Zach era?

hermes: Well, Wesleying was a lot more widely read, that’s fo sho. Also Zach was this mythical creature that people kinda knew about and didn’t really mess with at that point. Like, he’d allude to problems he’d had in the past, but by the time I showed up as a wee frosh, Zach was a mysterious senior and people left him alone to be an important internet entity for the most part. But yeah, I didn’t realize at the time that some of the stuff that happened that year doesn’t normally happen, like Zach breaking the senior cocks story and it becoming a national headline. Crazy shit.
wilk: And then him casually interviewing the old wesleyan presidents
hermes: Yeah that was hilarious. Also I’m dropping good grammar for the rest of this interview. It’s too hard being formal and stuff omg. It’s like I just unbuttoned my two-sizes-too-small jeans after a long day
wilk: I mean, it’s Wesleying after all
hermes: okay good yolo

Do you have a favorite article or 3 that you wrote?

hermes: Shit idek. Uhhhhhhh. I liked the Red Wolf one I did at the beginning of my last semester at Wes because it drove a lot of business to Red Wolf.
wilk: And we got free food! Good free food!
hermes: Omg yes we got sooooooo much free food. Now i’m going through my archive….wow i don’t remember 97% of the things I posted. I’m actually really proud of our Year in Reviews, because I created those my freshman year and the tradition has continued. So that’s been super cool. I also had one liveblog (the VP debate in 2012) where I made one really good joke about Paul Ryan’s daughter Bean. That was my crowning comedic achievement
The end.
That’s what I can remember
wilk: Word.

Were there any posts that you wrote that seemed to get a lot of unexpected traction?

hermes: I made a quick post last year about Lin-Manuel Miranda rapping on Jimmy Fallon that I assumed would do well but then it went, like, Wesleyan-viral. A ridiculous number of alumni shared it in FB groups and stuff. But I haven’t had anything controversial or whatever that got traction; I kinda already figured that stuff would get traction.

On that note, is wesleying “real journalism.” Also what is “real journalism”

hermes: HAHAHAHAHA. I don’t even think ~journalists~ know what it is. I don’t think there’s such a thing as “real journalism” at this point. But usually people at Wesleyan make journalism out to mean “unbiased and professional sounding,” in which case we’re not.
However, we never claimed to be.
I think there’s this weird confusion with people where if we’re too hard-hitting, people lose their shit, and if we’re not hard-hitting enough, people still lose their shit. When you’re part of Wesleying for so long, you start sticking your middle finger up at those people (both literally and metaphorically) and stop caring.
wilk: I bet doing it for 4 years, it just became routine at a certain point?
hermes: Like, these are the people who anonymously comment on Wesleying but don’t say anything to you irl
I would get really bent out of shape about it during my first 3 semesters, then I had to start laughing.
wilk: Always important to laugh
hermes: yes? Hahaha

So, how is retirement? (from Wesleying)

hermes: Hahaha it’s good. It’s nice not checking that god-forsaken inbox every day. Plus post-grad life is treating me really nicely. I’m currently eating 2 slices of pizza I got for $2 and watching Castle, so no complaints.

And what are you up to these days work wise?

hermes: I work as a managing editor for a startup. Essentially I’m rebuilding their blog, building out a contributor program, running all their social media, and writing all their paid content. So basically I got hired to work on the internet and tweet a lot aka my dream first job

So do you feel like Wesleying is a fun place to practice non-real-world media?

hermes: Oh yeah totally. I’ve probably been the most honest about how I wouldn’t be in media or journalism or communications if it weren’t for Wesleying. I came to Wes thinking I was going to start a storied political career or some dumb shit, and I wouldn’t have really looked at writing for places or anything if I hadn’t started with Wesleying.

Do you have any advice for current Wes beings?

hermes: Oh lordy. Don’t take Wesleyan so goddamn seriously. Have fun. This is the same advice I would give my 18-year-old self btw. I took everything really seriously. And at the end of the day, it’s a bubble and college is temporary. Just enjoy it and do what you want to do and don’t be so critical of every little thing around you.

But I think that’s all I have. Unless there’s anything else you want to add?

hermes: ASK ME ABOUT RANDOM THINGS THAT HAPPENED AND FAVE MEMORIES. LIKE WHAT ZACH IS LIKE IRL
wilk: fuck. shit. I forgot.

Tell me about the dear leader and/or pyrotechnics.

hermes: Well I know they’re both reading this (Hi Zach and pyrotechnics who doesn’t want his identity on the Internet). Zach is great. We got dinner with him a couple weeks ago, remember? He nods a lot and has better music taste than me.
wilk: Ya that was fun. AND HE HAS REALLY GOOD MUSIC TASTE.
hermes: Yeah yeah he has lots of tweets that don’t make sense and that’s why they’re hilarious. I don’t even know 93% of the references Zach is making on twitter but I still find them funny.
wilk: ALSO WTF was the WTF post?
hermes: Which post?
wilkThis gem. I think that might be peak Zach writing.
hermes: Ohhhhhh classic. V classic. SO WITTY, ZACHARY.

Also I heard you had a story about pyrotechnics crashing a meeting postgrad?

hermes: Yeah there’s not much to it; he showed up at our meeting and refused to sit in the circle with us because [insert pyrotechnics logic here]. I think I waved and then we nodded awkwardly at each other and then I left. But no one saw him before that and no one has seen him since. And by “no one,” I mean me.
wilk: I’m truly sad that I’ve never crossed paths with him. Maybe one day.

Do you have any staff shoutouts you wanna make? 

hermes: Uhhh….uhhhhhh. Shout out to all the lil prefrosh who will hopefully write for this site in the future?
Super meta: What if the next ~Zach~ is a lil prefrosh right now and we just don’t know it?

I feel like though, lasting 20 semesters (versus the arbitrary average 3) qualifies us to transform from blog to student-group incubator? Thoughts?

hermes: Hahahahahaha

Or should we go with the a capella thing?

hermes: Wesleying a cappella would be great. We would just be really awkward and stare at our phones the entire time and tweet about the experience instead of singing.
wilk: Tweetapella
hermes: Basically

With that awful portmanteau, I think we should maybe end the interview haha.

hermes: lulzzz k

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More by hermes: