Last night, Wesleying received an anonymous tip regarding the presence of a hammer and sickle in an Olin elevator. The entire campus community went cray.
The tip reads:
The USSR hammer and sickle is planted on one of the elevators in Olin–– the one close to the reserve desk. It looks like this: ?. This is no joke. Go check it for yourself. I wonder why this happened, maybe with increasing tensions with Russia (60 Russian diplomats expelled from the United States). I can send you a picture if you would like.
The campus community was on edge as it waited for the confirmation of the hammer and sickle. Was it just an April Fools Joke? Was someone taking their closeted communist proclivities and letting the world know? Was the anonymous tipper just trying to show the rest of the world that Wesleyan might seem like a school full of hippies, hipsters, and SJWs but is actually a communist hotbed?
We sent one of our staff members out to investigate this morning. Sadly (?), he was unable to find the presence of a hammer and sickle. However, he did find something possibly a little more interesting in a third floor bathroom…
We’re not sure exactly what this means, but our staff member did have their own analysis, saying “Honestly whoever wrote that abstracted a lil too much from the stink bomb that they probably left in the toilet.”
Now that the issue’s been settled, we want to hear from you guys. Does the A in the bomb mean anarchy?¡¡¡? Will anarchy save us?¿? Thoughts?!!¡¡¿
UPDATE:
THE HAMMER AND SICKLE WERE FOUND IN THE PAC ELEVATORS!
Creds to Ishika Sen Mukherjee ’20 and Leah Pensler ’20 for being a-MA-zing and submitting their findings to us…
