Unofficial Orientation Series 2018: WesLingo

Photo courtesy William Halliday, The Argus 

This is part of our 2018 Unofficial Orientation Series. A quick reminder that you can check out the welcome post here and past years’ series here.

 

This post is an updated repost of a repost of a repost of a repost of a repost of a repost of a post for anyone who’s worried about sounding like a totally unassimilated dweeb walking around campus – which is inevitable, but this post is tradition by now. So prefrosh, listen up. Conformity is key. (Which is probably the last thing you’d expect to hear at Wes.)

You’re about to be introduced to the most crucial part of the Wesleyan experience: WesLingo.

 

At this point, you’ve probably spent your summer knowing the names of buildings as they are on the campus map (which is conveniently linked here for those of you who are procrastinating even that. And let’s be honest, if you are reading this, chances are that you’re procrastinating choosing your classes, or at the very least, doing your common reading) Let me just tell you now: almost all of them have earned some nickname or other over the course of Wesleyan’s long lifetime. We’re here to help you relearn their de facto names, so you aren’t marching around looking like the uninformed frosh that you are. Once again though, it’s inevitable; even if you’re “on your phone” we know you are looking at the school map as you head towards one direction and do a completely noticeable 180 degree turn towards your building of choice. Pro tip: If you procrastinate learning the building definitions until ten minutes before your first class, a list of building names and their acronyms can be found here. Alternatively, just ask another student. We don’t bite, I promise (at least not too hard)

 

Residential Life

(or as we like to call it, Reslife)

Get ready to learn about your home/chamber of secrets/netflix cave for the next year.

 

The Butts (Butterfields).

The three Butterfield Residence Halls enclose a very special grassy knoll affectionately called The Butthole. Concerts and events are occasionally held in this space, but usually on warm sunny days you’re likely to find students hanging out there – sipping kombucha, riding their razor scooter, or, very rarely, doing their readings. The weird windy hallways are rumored to have been designed to “prevent rioting.” Apparently, these buildings were designed by an architect who built jails – so if you feel trapped, its because you’re meant to . If you live here and your friends don’t, they’ll always be complaining about how far away you live. The Butts are a good 10 minute walk from wherever your friends live, but that’s okay because at least you have Summies (Summerfields). The Butts were designed to mimic Yale’s residential colleges at a time when Wesleyan was even more overtly sad about not being an Ivy League. Freshmen and sophomores live here. Most of the people that you’ll find in the Butts live in either Butts A or Butts C. It’s rumored that Butts B is either empty, or that it’s used as Wesleyan’s squirrel breeding facility.

 

Clark.

It’s just plain ol’ Clark. This all-freshman dorm is right next to Olin. It has air conditioning, which people are jealous of for about three weeks on either end of the school year. They’ve got an elevator which is good for move ins-and-outs, if you care (and let’s be honest, most of us do when attempting to carry a fridge down four flights of stairs at the end of the year).  Also, two years ago the TV was stolen from the lounge in the basement, but they replaced it, so it’s a pretty sweet space for in-dorm movie night. Enjoy Clark, because this is the only year you can ever choose to. It might even be the highlight of your freshmen year.

 

Church (200 Church).

What used to be a frat house is now freshmen housing, specifically under the theme of social justice. It’s not one of the religious houses on campus. Fun movie nights are hosted here, as well as group and community events. 2016 saw the introduction of an awesome slam poetry culture. Church proudly boasts its diversity and inclusion (unlike most of Wes can). It also has a pool table, so that’s pretty sweet. All in all, it’s a really cool living space with awesome people.

 

Bennet (Bennet Hall).

This freshman housing is one of the closest dorms to the gym (for all you student athletes looking to get a workout before your 8:50am). Most proud frosh have nicknamed it ‘Hotel Bennet’. Upperclassmen who are set in their ways might tell you it’s called Fauver because it recently got renamed and they enjoy reliving Fauver’s glory days. Bennet used to be called Freshman Fauver because there is also Senior Fauver (the Fauver Apartments) right next door. Also air-conditioned. This dorm holds the unofficial award for “Dorm Most Likely to be Toured by Pre-Frosh of 2021” (and every other year, because let’s be honest, it’s just really pretty and the only inhabitable space during the summer months) and “Dorm Most Likely To Be Visited By Harrison Ford”.

 

WestCo (West College, Foss Hill Dorms 1-4).

According to A-Batte in the original WesLingo guide, “WestCo is a very special place for very special people.” As someone who never lived in WestCo, I can’t really speak about what goes on here, but I do know a lot goes on here. WestCo residents refer to their general living location by saying “Up”/”Down” (in reference to upstairs or downstairs) followed by a number (in reference to one of the four buildings). They hold pretty cool open mics and you can find semi-naked people playing music at almost any hour on almost any day. Freshmen and sophomores live here. Some dorm options are split doubles which are the ‘best of both worlds’ in housing options. Hailed as an ‘alternative’ living community, you’ll likely smell erm,’incense’, and hear a freshman guy on his third, shaky guitar rendition of ‘Wonderwall’.

 

The Nics (The Nicolsons, Foss Hill Dorms 5-7).

The Nics are a lovely little place where sophomores and freshmen live together in peaceful harmony. I like to think of The Nics as a fairly underrated dorm. Nothing ever happens in The Nics, in a good way (I think?). Just like WestCo, The Nics also has split doubles, and balconies. The Nics Lounge is often used by comedy groups, music groups, and other miscellaneous student groups to host events and meetings. Pro tip: The lounge makes for an effective study space, and also a great place to hold class meetings, provided that at least one of you lives in the Nics, or has a Nics ‘contact’. The Nics are relatively central, but the walk up Foss never failed to make me wheeze and pant.

 

Hewitt (Foss Hill Dorms 8-10).

The Hewitt dorms house sophomores and bitter juniors. Personally, I believe that their best quality is their proximity to Usdan, or how short of a distance one must walk in the rain/arctic vortex New England winter in order to reach food. Trust me, when you’re wading through three feet of ice cold slush or slipping on the thin layer of ice on Foss, you’ll wish that you lived in Hewitt (all the more reason to hibernate with your Hewitt friends during the winter months).

 

Junior Village (Hi Rise and Lo Rise).

These prison-looking structures house the lucky juniors that didn’t get screwed by GRS (General Room Selection, aka The Devil). It seems as though there is a perpetual 21st birthday party going on as the hundreds of juniors who live there celebrate their entry into legality, and therefore, debauchery. The sounds of screaming children echo through the grounds of Junior Village in the more temperate months, as the Traverse Housing Project is directly adjacent to the A and E blocks of Lo Rise. So you can expect to hear raucous laughter well into dawn and then nice and early on a Sunday morning from both groups of culprits.

 

Senior Village (Woodframes on Lawn, Home, Brainerd, Pine, Fountain, Vine, Cross, Warren).

Wood frames are ‘The Holy Grail of Housing’. Groups of 2-6 seniors live in the red-doored woodframe houses that line the streets of Senior Village. For everything you need to know, please refer to this timeless work of art. The houses have been praised for their individuality, and offer a chance to live somewhat independently. You are frosh, yet you will already begin planning your group for Senior year to live in a woodframe. (And then second semester comes and you re-plan your group, and then sophmore year comes and you re-re-plan your group…)

 

Senior Fauver (Fauver Apartments).

For many seniors, Woodframe dreams are crushed by the cruel fist of GRS, and for some lucky juniors, Fauver dreams are fulfilled by the blessings of GRS. Senior Fauver boasts air conditioning, a bike room, and in-house laundry facilities, making it a pretty sweet deal, all things considered. They get to live in groups of five and don’t have to do house maintenance during the winter, and they have a pretty good location on campus – a five minute walk from the gym, a three minute stroll to Exley (mostly just for Pi) and a two minute jog to Neon for all those deli sandwich cravings you might have at 2PM on a Sunday. They also have a volleyball court!

 

Writer’s Block.

This is a community based living option for (you guessed it) writers. Writer’s block house mostly freshmen and some sophomores. Almost always smells like fried chicken or brunch, thanks to Swings which is housed on the first floor. A mini-lounge for all three floors is also part of the deal. You don’t get an elevator, so if you are moving into the second or third floors… I hope your stair-climbing skills are impeccable. Failing that, you’ll have rock solid quads by the end of the year, and a fondness for alliteration.

 

 

Program Houses & Greek Houses.

Program houses are basically the drugstore versions of Woodframe houses for Sophomores and Juniors.

 

MidHo (Middle House).

Middle House, on Washington St (Wash) across from Indian Hill Cemetery. It used to be Buddhist House but changed its name last year. Located on Washington street, AKA a terrifying prospect for all those who do not live on it, due to its lack of proximity to campus. Middle House is one of Wesleyan’s hidden gems, with a beautiful garden, library and peaceful atmosphere.

 

RuHo (Russian House).

Russian House, right across ‘Swings, guarantees a hearty breakfast pail on weekends without much wait. The house aims to foster a community brought together by Russian language, and culture.

 

WoCoHo (Woman of Color House)

Woman of Color house, on Pine Street, next to where the seniors do their laundry. Isn’t the name pretty self-explanatory?

 

Triple A/AAA (Asian/Asian American House).

Asian American House is back deep on High Street (107 High St), past Out House. The program house serves as a space for Asian and Asian American students to build community and host events. There were several QTPOC parties hosted there last year.

 

MoHo (Movement House).

This building, when under Eclectic’s name or when called Music House, was a strange microcosm that hosted concerts and other events almost every weekend. Since it switched ownership in 2016, it became a staple of the university nightlife and music scene. Now, rumor has it that it will be a community dedicated to dance, so you know where to stumble into on a Friday night. MoHo is located on High Street next to Public Safety. It’s the big house with columns and people carrying heavy dance/music related equipment, you can’t miss it.

 

International House. 

Home to several (i.e. 12) international students located on Church, International House welcomes students from all backgrounds, ethnicities and nationalities. Arguably the most diverse part of campus.

 

Alpha Delt (The Alpha Delta Phi House)

Alpha Delta Phi House is where S&C is located, across from Eclectic on the corner of Church and High. Alpha Delt has a great basement known as the ‘Grotto’, where parties and events are frequently hosted (my personal favourite, featuring neon paints and strange lights, was the blacklight consent party).

 

Deek (DKE)

The Delta Kappa Epsilon house is on High Street across from Wyllys. Currently empty, but the society won its lawsuit against the university, so I guess we’ll have to wait and see what else unfolds. Honestly, wait for the Greek Life post for more info.

 

Psi U (Psi Upsilon)

The Psi Upsilon house on High Street next to Judd. Again, wait for the Greek Life post. 

 

 

Rooms

 

Single/Double/Triple

In reference to the number of people who are in a room: 1-2-3. You might be in a Double-turned-Triple this year – so expect to be real tight-knit with your roomies. On the plus side, you have two built in buddies, or alternatively, twice as much sexiling. You might also be in a Triple turned Double this year – so expect to host a lot of pre-games.

 

Dingle

A room that’s supposed to be a double where one of the people moved out. A single that’s supposed to be a double. The holy grail of rooms for wholesome fun, and dancing around in your underwear. You can even join the two twin XL to make a DIY Queen bed!

 

Two room double

Two connected “singles” that share one exit. Get there first, so that you can claim the inner room with some privacy, and extra storage space. Alternatively, balcony access is pretty great too.

 

 

Academic Buildings

 

Sci-Li (Science Library).

A study space that houses science-related books, squishy chairs, and students who will not glare at you for talking in the library. People here are usually procrastinating, either through the mini-est golf course you’ve ever seen, or laying in the nap-pod tucked into the corner. The second floor is a bit more typical library-ish. Whispers recommended, the louder the better. Scili is the designated group study or group gossip area on campus.

 

Olin.

A study space that houses The Stacks (of bookshelves with books), hundreds of Thesis Carrels for seniors working themselves to death, and students who will absolutely judge you for talking, or coughing too hard, or dropping heavy things in the library, or logging onto Facebook real quick for just, like, five minutes. You will not be judged, but will be looked at strangely if you work on the floor. Unless it’s finals because then every seat is taken anyway. Ask an upperclassman about the Incident on Floor 2A, for shits and giggles. Pro tip: Get to know the library by falling asleep and getting locked in after 3AM. Also a great way to make friends with Psafe.

 

PAC: Pronounced ‘Pack’ (Public Affairs Center).

The government, economics, and sociology (among other) departments are housed here, but the numerous classrooms host seminars and lectures from many different departments. Evening guest lecturers often speak in the basement rooms of PAC. You may think the elevator is creaky and haunted, but it’s all good, that’s the charm of PAC. The building is also connected to the basement of the library, so you can go print something and come back to turn it in without bracing the outside world. Also a handy way to never leave the library in the dead of winter. Plans of renovating PAC were made earlier this year. Hopefully, you’ll get to experience the changes by the time your senior year comes around.

 

The Fishbowl.

Do you want to be the kid studying in plain sight on a Saturday morning at 2am? Well, I have some good news for you, you can be. You can also awkwardly make eye contact with the person you kissed at MoHo last weekend, or the person you matched with on tinder, but never messaged, through the huge glass windows and doors. Now open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for your studying pleasure, The Fishbowl is sandwiched between SciLi and Exley. It’s almost always silent in here. It’s like Exley’s very own version of Olin. Also, it was recently refurnished with nicer chairs and encouragingly collaborative large tables. Be wary, if you cough, you will be stared at.

 

Boger Hall.

This building is ‘affectionately’ nicknamed Booger Hall. Sometimes, it’s also called Bougie Hall (how apt), Bo-zhay Hall, or if you’ve been around long enough, 41 Wyllys. Some rich dude in pharmaceuticals donated enough money that we needed a building named after him or something. Nobody likes it – Half because it’s named after some rich dude with a lame surname, and the other half just does (take my word on it).

 

Judd.

Home of the psychology department. Not sure what else goes on in here.

 

Exley.

Exley is the home of the Natural Sciences, Mathematics & Computer Science departments. Round high tables, leather sofas, and multiple outlets to charge your dying laptops make it a prime spot to (pretend to) study. Legend says that sometime last year, the glass backdoor of Exley was kicked down and shattered. Most kids in Exley can be found with laptops covered in stickers of obscure puns and pop culture references and marbled steel water bottles, complaining about Orgo or Multi.

 

Allbritton, Shanklin, Downey, Fayerweather, College Row, North and South Colleges. As they are.

 

Now you’re ready to enjoy some of the finest memes Wesleyan has to offer!

Memes courtesy of various valuable contributors on Soggy We$ Memes

 

Academics

 

COL/CSS/CEAS/CFILM/CIS/COE.

College of Letters, College of Social Studies, College of East Asian Studies, College of Film and the Moving Image, College of Integrative Sciences, and College of the Environment, respectively. These are the various “College” majors. CSS and COL have both been around for 50 years and are interdisciplinary majors that you apply for at the end of your frosh year. CEAS, CFILM, COE and CIS were created in the last few years as additional interdisciplinary majors that bring together faculty and resources from several academic centers and departments.

 

FGSS.

Feminist, Gender, and Sexuality Studies.

 

AfAm/AfAm Studies.

African American Studies

 

 

Dining Options

 

Usdan

(You probably won’t be able to pronounce it in your first try) Students call it Oozdan, Boozdan, The ‘dan or Uzie. The buffet is upstairs, where the jocks sit to the right and the hipsters sit to the left, or call them the loud side andquiet side, respectively (they renamed it East and West Wing but no one bothered to learn which is which so loud side and quiet side it is). Loud side usually has an interesting mix of songs playing in the back, accompanied by the booming voices of student athletes. A small café downstairs offers snacks, to-go options, and coffee/tea/other drinks. Tables and couches in lower Usdan are perfect meeting places or study spots, if you don’t mind the noise. Charging stations can be found both upstairs or downstairs. Sneak something a little stronger into your plastic dinner cup and voila, you have the “Boozdan” tradition. Meals or points accepted. You can also find Daniel Family Commons (for fancier dinner events or free lunch with your professor) on the third floor.

 

Summies (Summerfields).

Located in the Butts connected to Butt C, Summies offers relatively edible food that is made-to-order. For Butts’ inhabitants, trust me, Summies will be your saviour when you don’t want to trek through the Arctic that is Wesleyan’s campus during the winter months. The menu isn’t very extensive, but includes different salads, burgers, chicken concoctions, tacos and burritos, and more. You can text in your order and get it to go if you are in a time crunch. Their daily specials, the highlight of summies, lasted one year. #BringBackDailySpecials2K18. Most importantly you can swipe an extra banana for tomorrow’s breakfast or sneak out a cup of black coffee for your study session in Exley. Meals or points accepted. Summies is good at the first bite and greasy around the fifth, and then it just vacillates wildly. Person(s) behind the cash register are really nice – so say thank you sincerely and they will probably remember your fave order. Pro tip: If you’re a vegetarian, you can get two or three meat free sides for the price of a full meal.

 

Swings (WesWings).

Around the back of The Building formerly Known as 156 High (Writer’s Block) you will find the shining beacon that is Tupperware filled with cookie dough. WesWings is another made-to-order restaurant on campus whose menu boasts a lot of fried things, but also deli sandwiches, a killer list of daily specials, and individual desserts for purchase. Killer weekend brunch for your hangovers. Points only. Follow them on Twitter and Snapchat because they are fun(nier than us). Be wary of the breakfast pail, AKA the easiest way to blow all your points before the end of the semester.   

 

Red & Black (Red & Black Cafe).

Housed in Broad Street & home of the best turkey paninos ever. They also have daily special smoothie bowls! Red & Black also exhibits an adorably questionable taste in music. Points only.

 

S&C (Star & Crescent Eating Club).

Alpha Delta Phi is the majestic brick palace with white trim right next to 200 Church, and it houses Wesleyan’s most delicious but most bougie dining facility. They aren’t open every day, but catch them when you can because it’s totally worth it. The S&C menu is posted weekly on Wesleying, and every dish will literally bathe your tongue in fairy dust. First 3 freshmen in line when doors open get a free meal. Free meal – don’t waste this opportunity. Points only.

 

Pi (Pi Cafe).

Just “Pi.” Meet for coffee, grab breakfast in the morning, do some work between classes. Honestly, the copious amounts of caffeine, stress of midterms or finals’ season, and a variety of bagels make Pi what it is. It’s a social atmosphere with a menu full of coffee and tea specials, with pastries in a big glass case and to-go items in a lil refrigerator thing. Located in Exley across from the Fishbowl. Points only. Home to the beloved ‘Chaider’, a heavenly concoction of chai and cider. Try all their specials before the end of your freshman year!

 

WesShop, Wesshop, Weshop? (WesSsshop).

Here you will find one of almost everything for sale. And this isn’t just your run-of-the-mill supermarket… kale, kombucha, quinoa, grass-fed-vegetarian-organic-tofu-burgers, a wall of candy, olive oil, mixers (also called “soft drinks”), microwaveable dinners/lunches/breakfasts and whatever else caters to your Liberal Arts Diet. Open late for library snacks on weekdays, inconveniently closed when you need them most on weekend evenings/nights but still our beloved WesShop<3. Points only, unless you speak to the manager who might let you use cash.

 

 

Trucks/Non-Wes/Drunk Eating Options

 

Grilled Cheese/Whey (Whey Station).

All hail. Parked on William St from 11pm-3am from Wednesday-Saturday, the Whey Station is an artisan grilled cheese food truck that turns into a feeding ground for hungry, drunk, or ‘excited’ Wes kids. And sober Wes kids. And basically anyone who knows what true happiness is. Real money only. Their grilled cheese sandwiches sometimes come with mac&cheese, extra cheese, and love.

 

The Falafel Truck/Falafel (Mamoun’s).

Usually referred to simply as “Falafel,” this food truck sits on the corner of Pine and Cross on weekend nights catering to the debauched humanity of Senior Village until 3am. Sometimes they come out every day during a finals week (you’ll see a long and hungry queue snaking out from Scili). When it’s 3AM on a Tuesday night and you just submitted a 20pg essay (due two days ago), Falafel tastes like success, a hug and a job well done.

 

Neon (Neon Deli).

On the corner of Cross and Vine, the Neon Deli is an institution. Any sandwich you want, they can make. Along with paninis and other melts, breakfast orders, and cold deli salads. Snacks and coffee and ice cream and rolls of toilet paper, if you’re ever in a pinch. Real money only.

 

Espwesso.

Not really a drunk eating option so much as a late night place. Wesleyan’s student-run coffee shop. Usually open as soon as the daytime coffee places (Pi, Usdan) close. Housed in Albritton, Espwesso always smells like strong black coffee, plays a beautiful collection of music, and feels like a warm hug. Don’t forget about Espwesso Pweview Night!!

 

Main/Main Street/Middletown.

Where people go when they actually leave Wesleyan’s campus. Boasts restaurants with a surprising range of different cuisines to try, a Rite Aid (soon Walgreens), and Metro. Also is home to a variety of community organizations, such as the Buttonwood, which hosts a variety of local musicians and comedians.

 

Metro.

Could be referring to either booze or the movies. They’re in the same plaza. A combination of the two will usually happen at some point during your first semester.

 

 

Miscellaneous Must-Knows

 

Foss.

You can’t miss it! Foss is the center of the Wesleyan universe from August-September and April-May. On late-summer and spring afternoons you will see hundreds of students laying on blankets, listening to music, and throwing frisbees on Foss Hill. First snow is also super fun for sledding and stuff. Look out for the occasional group of excited streakers, especially when orientation is winding down and the upperclassmen have arrived on campus. On the auspicious day of 20th April, to be blunt, you can see a thick cloud of smoke cover the beloved hill as more students than you can imagine even went to Wesleyan lay on the grass.

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The Ride.

Campus shuttles that can be hailed occasionally useful if you happen to look desperately cold, yet sober near a posted Ride sign as they drive around campus OR requested by phone every day from 7pm-3am.

 

The MAT (Middletown Area Transit).

The bus service for Middletown. You can take the bus from two terminals in town, and can connect to the bus services for neighboring towns. One of the cheaper (albeit, slightly longer) transportation options if you do not have access to a car, or possess a driver’s license/Zipcard.

 

Moodle.

Online platform where professors can post class readings, start discussion topics, and post quiz/test scores, among other things. Also useful for stalking people in your classes!

 

Vines on Church.

This is sometimes a good place to eat food and get drunk. It boasts a loyal clientele of juniors, seniors and others for Wednesday’s bar night. Get the weekend started nice and early. Last Spring, it tried a rebrand as a jazz club under new ownership. This rebrand came startlingly close to the La La Land’s undeserved Oscar hype.

 

RJ Julia

This is where people go to buy their textbooks and excited frosh purchase Wes paraphrenelia. Pro tip: Wait to buy your textbooks until after the first week of classes, or just check out Amazon. Not all textbooks are vital, and you can often find much cheaper alternatives through WesAdmits. The bookstore opened last year, and there was significant controversy about its hiring practices. They host events, have weed books and little useless, yet cute trinkets on their front counter and are located at 413 Main Street (right by the Dunkin’ on the corner of Wash and Main).

 

Broad Street (WESU 88.1 FM Radio/Argus HQ/ Red & Black)

Prior to moving to Main St, the bookstore shared a space with the Radio, Red & Black and the Argus. The Argus, Radio and Red & Black have no plans to leave the Broad Street space.

 

Senior Week.

After spring finals, before commencement. Much debauchery will ensue. MUCH DEBAUCHERY.

 

R&C.

Reunion & Commencement, occurs during Senior Week, is a good opportunity to work and see Wesleyan in a different environment.

 

Resource Center.

The Resource Center opened last year. This is where shit gets done. Working towards a more inclusive, sensitive and engaged community. Several fun events, ranging from clothing swaps to open-mic nights, take place here. A meditation room, multiple conference rooms, and a kitchen with endless supplies of coffee and tea make it a prime spot to hangout and study in after your classes. Drop by! Come say hi to Demetrius!

 

Indian Hill.

The main gate is on the corner of Vine and Wash, but the cemetery stretches out over many acres towards Cross St. Kids go here to hang out, picnic, watch sunsets, do creepy cemetery shit, and more.Pro-tip: the best way to get to know the campus is to take midnight graveyard walks and meet new people, do so during frosh week.

 

Millers.

Millers’ State Pond is several miles off-campus and is the unofficial Wes watering hole. It’s beautiful and serene and a perfect get-away to hang out with friends when you want to escape the Wes bubble for a little bit or just swim and chill (watch out for snakes, the slithery boys can creep up on you).

 

Wadsworth.

Also several miles off-campus but closer than Miller’s Pond, Wadsworth State Park has a great waterfall with a shallow area that you can wade into when it’s warm, and fall into it when it’s freezing. The rest of the park has a few mild but scenic hiking trails.

 

 

Humans of Wesleyan

 

Prefrosh.

Doesn’t know what “prefrosh” means until they aren’t one anymore.

 

Frosh.

Freshmen or first years. Can sometimes be found wandering around lost on campus (or reading this post). They’ll stop upperclassmen for directions or be furiously concentrating on a screenshot of the campus map.

 

RA/HM.

Resident Advisor or House Manager (which is the RA equivalent of Program Houses). Don’t let them see you sneak in *ahem* certain substances *ahem*.

Meme courtesy of Soggy We$ Memes

 

Psafe.

Also known as Public Safety. Mostly nice, but will wreck your party if they think it’s too crunk to be legal. They’ll typically begin to shut down parties at around 2AM. You’ll see a parade of about three patrol cars driving around Fountain Avenue on a Saturday night. They’ll also give you rides if you break your leg (first hand experience)

 

Fire Safety.

Not to be confused with PSafe. Comes by to check your room once per semester, usually just after you’ve gotten out of the shower and half of your closet is on the floor. Hide your paraphernalia from them.

 

Ed.

The WesWings guy. A Class of 1989 Wes alum, so probably the inspiration for TSwift’s album.

 

Tom/Pasta Guy.

One of the many pasta chefs in Usdan, but for all intents and purposes, The Pasta Guy. Known for his signature line: “Go ahead.”

 

Roth.

Or Michael Roth. Or MRoth. Not THE_REAL_MROTH. Full-time university president, part-time victim of amateur Photoshop images, and the inspiration for the best Wesleyan RedBubble sticker ever created.

For more Roth memes (we know you want some more), click here

 

Squirrels

Fat, adorable and sometimes ruthless in their pursuit of food. They are fed by students and professors year round, and as a result, have lost any fear of humans. Guard your lunch if eating in their presence. They can smell your grilled cheese, and they will steal it.

 

 

In Conclusion:

Don’t worry, you’ll catch on. In a few short weeks you’ll know where things are and what these words really mean. You’ll be taking the Ride to junior village and getting Whey like a pro, heading to Millers’ in your roommate’s car with six people you don’t know, and Boozdaning on Thursday like it ain’t no thang. And if you can’t, for the life of you, figure out what the lingo is for something, just add the prefix Wes- to whatever you say. If nothing else, maybe you can make new lingo for us at Wesleying to document next year. Or, alternatively, indulge your penchant for Photoshop.