Wesleyan Releases Regular Decision Letters to the Class of 2023 And HOLY FUCKING HELL I AM OLD

“jesus fucking christ, i am going to be a whole four years older than these fucking CHILDREN”

-me, right now

 

In some news about new people coming to this campus, Regular Decision admission letters were released to the Class of 2023 (HOLY FUCK) this past Saturday at approximately 3 PM.

If you’re reading this, you should be feeling the following emotions:

  1. FROSH: Aw cool! New people! We’re not frosh! (So you thought)
  2. SOPHOMORES: oh man, i’m old
  3. JUNIORS: WHAT THE LITERAL FUCK
  4. SENIORS: sorry, I haven’t reached this point yet. check back in next year.
    1. Probably: how many days till I graduate?

Although we at Welseying are a real reputable source of information on campus, we still haven’t heard anything about the admission rate for this year; but on the other hand, if you’re here because you’ve just gotten in and are asking yourself what the literal fuck is a Wesleyan, we’re glad you’re here.

So, as a rite of passage, and as a way of procrastinating my work, here is my (very special) welcome message on behalf of Wesleyan. This will probably be more interesting than your actual admission letter (well, maybe):

Hello, prefrosh! Congratulations on your acceptance to Wesleyan––hopefully your parents didn’t pay $400,000 to make sure you’re where you are right now! Ha ha! You’ve made it through the college admissions process. If the last few months have been a panicky blur on College Confidential, congrats! You cannot delete your posts and will regret your oversharing in a few years. Please never, ever mention your stats/ECs/whether or not you won the national ping-pong championship on Mars ever again.

I can now guarantee that if you choose Wesleyan, you will (and I mean this) develop a taste for certain seltzers that will make you feel like you’re in an upper-income bracket, even if you’re not.

We are Wesleying, an independent student blog for all things ~Wesleyan~. We post about a lot of things, and because you’re probably giving up on classes now that you’re going to college, here are some recent important posts that have happened.

What are some things you should do? For me, after I got in, I cried on the phone for a bit, then went to a local coffee shop to study for a biology exam (once an overachiever, always an overachiever). You can post some pictures on Instagram announcing your acceptance, and join every other high school senior in the tradition. In two short years, you will embark on a similar journey as you announce your major! The traditions never stop.

You should also maybe join WesAdmits 2023, the admitted students Facebook group where you can eventually embarrass yourself by drafting elaborate posts about your interests, favorite movies, and some other fun facts that your friends will eventually bring up a few years later. As a former WesAdmits frequent poster, I both regret and am proud of my younger self’s actions.

Every welcome post has the former blogger Zach’s wise words, so I need to repeat them:

Also, a bit of advice: enjoy the WesAdmits Facebook group, but proceed with caution. Yes, everything you post there will be scrutinized by future classmates, current students, admission officers, and Wesleying staff. Yes, your future Wes friends will one day look back on those posts and give you shit for bragging about being one of “those who spell theatre with the r before the e.” It’s okay if you don’t already know where you want to live, what you want to study, who you want to be at Wesleyan: you’re not supposed to. Be friendly, share info, but don’t feel pressured to make all your friends and find a roommate and choose an extracurricular and construct an entire post-high school identity now. It doesn’t work that way. And no, you will not have trouble finding other Wes students who share your obscure interest in Radiohead or Arrested Development or playing tennis. They’re out there, and many of them aren’t posting on the Facebook group.

Oh, and you know that one guy who friends every member of the prefrosh class before school even starts? Don’t be that guy.

Welcome to Wes. We’re psyched to meet you.

We hope to see you soon, maybe even at WesFest between April 10th-April 12th!

 

<3 <3