SPRING FLING HEADLINER ANNOUNCED

The Wiggles, an Australian children’s music band, is headlining this year’s Spring Fling. The Wiggles were listed as Business Review Weekly’s top-earning Australian entertainers in 2005, and have achieved international success since their founding in 1991.

According to the Wiggles twitter account, their set will include hits like “Hot Potato”, “Wake Up Jeff” and “Fruit Salad (Yummy Yummy)”. Wesleyan’s Spring Fling committee selected the Wiggles to “help everybody chill the fuck out” and “feel child-like joy again”. Another source suggested that since our campus is susceptible to toddler diseases such as Hand, Foot, and Mouth disease, the student population might also enjoy the music of toddlers.

Since the announcement, students have wondered how the Wiggles will be received by Spring Fling goers, given The Wiggles’ targeted age-range and general cheerful disposition that apparently “does not mesh well with mentally exhausted college kids”. Claire Glickman ‘21 went so far as to say “I hate children’s music; how can you listen to this,” as I soulfully sang along in an Australian accent to Wiggle anthem, “Apples and Bananas.” However, the committee hopes that the bright colors and catchy tunes of the Wiggles will appeal to the intoxicated audience and encourage students to get up off of Foss and “wiggle.”