As the semester nears its end, several local freshmen are coming to the realization that college may not, in fact, be the best time of their lives. This revelation has caused multiple Usdan meltdowns and many failed attempts to drink away reality.
“Everyone has told me my entire life that college will be so fun and I’ll make so many friends and go to so many parties” said A ‘23, who chose to remain anonymous due to the embarrassing fact that she only has two friends, “But like, parties can be gross? I’m too scared to admit to all the adults at home who keep asking if I’m having ‘fun’ that I don’t actually like the taste of beer.”
“Man, when I got recruited, I was so ready to be done with high school and just go play lacrosse all day for the Cards” admits Chad McBroson ‘23 “Nobody told me I still had to go to classes and stuff in college! Sometimes I even have to limit my beer pong to one game and then go study and shit. It’s whack.”
Other students have voiced concerns about issues including not meeting the loves of their lives, not discovering themselves, actually missing home and their families a little bit, and not having figured out their “calling” yet. Wesleying suggests that they all just suck it up and lie about all of it like the rest of us.
Alright we’re under the cut now so I can be serious. All jokes aside, I want to talk about this utopian view of college that we’ve been sold for so long. When I came into college, even though my hopes were not that high, I still had expectations embedded in my psyche from years and years of teachers and counselors and relatives and even my parents broadcasting to me, consciously or subconsciously, in words or in actions, that I would have an amazing time. That I would make instantaneous, lifelong friends, and lots of them. That I would find so many passions and know exactly who I was. And when reality turned out to be not so rosy, I had a hard time. I’m only a sophomore now, so I have a lot yet to learn, but I want to share what knowledge I’ve gained thus far, so that if you feel like I did, you won’t feel so alone.
If you make a ton of super great friends, kudos to you. If you make a couple close ones, that’s awesome. If you feel that you struggle to make social connections, you’re not alone. You can get all the advice in the world about how to make friends in college, and although much of it can be helpful, it all really comes down to luck and being in the right place at the right time. If you haven’t found the right people, it isn’t your fault. It’s just how it is. Keep trying and don’t beat yourself up when things don’t work out.
It’s okay if you don’t like to party. It’s okay if you do, as long as you don’t let it take over your life. If you don’t want to drink or smoke, you are not the only one. “Everyone” is doing it, but not really. Don’t be afraid to spend some weekend nights alone. It’s not as embarrassing as you think it is, and can be a good way to do some of that “finding yourself” that we’re all apparently supposed to be experiencing.
You’re not the only one who doesn’t know what to do with your life. I don’t know if anyone does, to be honest, even if they say they do. Just try to find some things that you like, and do those. As you grow and change, those things might change too, and that’s totally cool. As for dealing with those adults who ask what you’re going to do with your degree, or what you’re going to do after you graduate, your guess is as good as mine. I still don’t know what to say to those people.
College may very well be the best time of your life. But it probably won’t be. Life is complicated, and, although we are not led to think as such, so is college. Some things will be awesome, and some things will suck. And that’s okay. We’re all just here to try our best and learn something. I’d be lying if I said I have it all figured out, because I definitely still feel bad sometimes about not having “enough” friends or not having an effortlessly blissful time. All I can say is cut yourself some slack. These are just 4 years out of the many you’ll experience in your life, and they don’t have to be (won’t be) perfect. You’re doing great, and at the very least, Wesleying is proud of you.