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How I turned my COVID test into a full-on BDSM experience

That’s my fetish.

In pandemic times, we’re all looking for that added sense of excitement. Me? I’ve been getting that rush through my biweekly university-mandated COVID test. Let me show you what you’ve been doing wrong:

 

Step 1: Sexy Beginnings

Vanilla: Blow nose, then disinfect hands with sanitizer so they’re nice and clean.

BDSM: Blow nose, then lube up hands with sanitizer so they’re nice and slippery.

 

Step 2: Foreplay

Vanilla: After receiving your vial, make your way across the room to the testing booths. Since there’s nobody there, just ignore the line and step over all the stupid chains.

BDSM: No line-skipping for you. Savor the build-up as you zigzag back and forth through the winding chains. Take slow, methodical steps. Because the longer the wait, the better the…

Look at those chains.

Step 3: Climax

Vanilla: Gently insert the nasal swab into each nostril, making 7-10 circles.

BDSM: Take a deep breath to prepare yourself for what’s about to happen.  Then jam the swab as far up your nose as you can, trying to feel even an ounce of sensation in these mind-numbing times. The pleasure ripples through your spine like electricity. You forgot what it was like to feel so human.

 

Step 4: Cool-down

Vanilla: Lunch at Usdan.

BDSM: Lunch at Summies.

(Visited 833 times, 1 visits today)
Posted by hen in Featured, General and tagged bdsm, COVID, i feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind, when will this nightmare end on March 18, 2021 at 8:22 AM.

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chicka chicka boom boom

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