Demystifying the Wes Covid Experience: Life at the Middletown Inn

Are you eternally unsatisfied with the mystery that is quarantine in the inn?  Can you simply not fall asleep at night because you’re just so curious about what those covid people are doing that whole time?? 

If your answer was yes, I welcome you. If it was no…well too bad, because I’m gonna tell you anyway. Welcome to behind the scenes: a day in the life of a Middletown Inn covid patient. 

10AM: Gooooood morning! You may have been looking forward to breakfast, but then you remember that you are only served two meals a day. You chug a 48-gallon bottle of Essentia water instead, because your mom told you to hydrate. You instantly regret chugging said water. You start to question: how much water is too much water?? It’s times like these that make you ponder such existential wonders. 

10:30AM: You finally get out of bed to go take a shower. You turn on the heat to absolutely scalding because you want to make sure you can still feel things (you know…because you can no longer taste or smell). You most definitely burn yourself, but are satisfied to have confirmed a sensory experience. 

11:00AM: You hydrate some more. You then pee for like, the fourth time in one hour…you’ve been hydrating a lot

11:30AM: You contemplate whether or not to lie on the floor or lie on the bed. You give up contemplating, because you realize here at the Middletown inn, you can do both. You put on Red (Taylor’s Version), because if anyone understands pain, it’s definitely Taylor when she was making that album. Love you, Tay. 

12:15PM: You get a knock on the door: lunch has arrived. It’s perhaps the most exciting part of your day (yes, you’re aware you can’t taste anything, no that doesn’t make it any less exciting). You eat it with your roommate (did I mention you have a roommate??) on the desk, so you can both feel slightly human. You also wore jeans today. Human level = 100. 

1:30PM: You play guitar with your roommate, who you met literally less than 24 hours ago and are now serenading. Talk about bonding, folks.

3:15PM: You drink even more water. You wonder how COVID could still possibly be in your system with the amount of water you’re drinking if it’s true that water flushes it out of your system. You sneeze and consequently begin to suspect that water does not, indeed, flush things out of your system. 

4:00PM: You turn on the lamp because it has gotten dark outside. Your days are officially divided into the pre-lamp and post-lamp eras. 

5:00PM: You watch clips from the Glee Project, which you didn’t even know existed despite priding yourself on your gleek era (yes, you realize not everyone would pride themselves on this, no you don’t regret it). You begin to realize there are a lot of corners of the internet you haven’t heard of before. You begin to get slightly scared. 

6:30PM: Another knock on your door. Dinner has arrived! You eat at the desk, yet again salvaging some aspects of your own humanity. You take a bite and realize that you still cannot taste anything, but have a newfound appreciation for texture. It’s quite the awakening. 

7:00PM: You turn on the TV and watch Back to the Future, which is a classic. You haven’t watched cable television since you were approximately 9 years old, but here you are. Commercials astound you. You didn’t know they still existed! 

(live footage of me when they told me I had covid)

8:00PM: You hydrate some more, this time by making tea. You realize you literally could just be drinking hot water without the teabag and you simply would not know the difference. This makes you laugh, because honestly it’s kind of funny. 

8:30PM: You watch Back to the Future 2, because there is a marathon happening and how can you not watch both??? You begin to appreciate the marvel that is cable television.

10:00PM: You go to sleep (you don’t go to bed, because technically you’ve been going to bed all day. This time, you actually just fall asleep). Until tomorrow, lovely inn room. What a time you’ve had together.

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