2017: A Very Wesleying Year in Review

“[My New Year’s Resolution is to] try to just calm myself down. It’s like Sid wants to see that side of me. He’s like, ‘You know, I know there’s a side to you and I am going to push every single button until I get it out of you, daddy” ? Jason Biggs

This article was in collaboration between fern and un meli-melo

It’s been another crazy year with Trump, North Korea, devastating natural disasters, and a solar eclipse.  With 2017 behind us, we’re going to take a moment to look back on the happenings of the past year here at Wesleyan. Wesleying‘s done a Year in Review ever since 2012 when hermes began the series. The goal is to sum up the major storiesboth serious and Funthat we’ve covered throughout the year.

If you’re into /history/, read past Year in Reviews to see how writing quality diminishes as GenZ begins to move through the secondary education system: 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016.

Disclaimer: We may have forgotten to mention some things. Since this is a review of some of what we’ve covered on this blog, there will necessarily be things missing and many of the topics included here are still developing and are certainly not over!!! So, if you think we missed anything important, please leave a comment or email us at staff[at]wesleying[dot]org with any moments and/or details you found essential to the character of 2017 at Wesleyan :)

Content warning: This article discusses issues around sexual assault on campus and Scott Backer’s arrest.

Wesleyan Sends out 279 Early Decision Acceptances to the Class of 2022

For the second time ever, Wesleyan received over 700 applications for Early Decision 1. This year, the Office of Admission reviewed 718 applications for ED1 and sent out 279 acceptance letters to high school seniors who can now rest assured: their senioritis will not be getting any better next semester.

According to Dean of Admission and Financial Aid Nancy Meislahn, just over half of the Class of 2022 will be made up of students who are accepted through early decision rounds. This has been the case for some time, and is probably a reason why we have nice things and special traditions.

Procrastination Destination: Tree-Climbing Octopi

An internet hoax used to check students’ digital literacy, the tree-climbing octopus is a species of cephalopod that can live on both land and water. The Octopus paxarbolis (from Latin pax, the root of Pacific, and arbor, “tree”) climbs trees to seek its prey, avoids its predators, and indulges its sense of curiosity about the world around it. The Pacific Northwest tree octopus is native to Olympic National Forest and nearby rivers, and tends to lay its eggs in water. Its major predator is said to be the Sasquatch.

Procrastination Destination: Spotify Songs with Zero Listens

I just listened to a song by a man named Raymond Froggatt. He will probably be happy to see his name appear in a Google Alert after this post is published. His song, “Stay with Me” had 0 plays on Spotify before I listened to it.

The song can be described as Wiggles-rock meets Usdan Thanksgiving live music act. Here’s a sample of the lyrics:

“And I can see
A light through the dark
In your loving ways

No confusion in this rhyme
No confusion in our time
At least, well, not in mine”

Transfers! We’re like freshmen but can do laundry!

We finally got that snow everyone’s been telling us about since we decided to go to school in New England

In less than a week, my first semester at Wes will come to an end. It’s an accomplishment that a lot of students are facing. But for some of us, the transfer kids, this is the second time our first semester at a school will end.

The transfer process sucks. It’s a little bit like senior year of high school but this time you’re really sad all the time. We each went to our first school with a goal of finding a home for ourself and thriving and having the time of our life and LOL we were so dumb. Those original plans didn’t work out too well, so we left to try again.

The transition is difficult for transfer students. It’s scary coming to a new school knowing that the first time around didn’t work out. What if it happens again? What if it wasn’t the school? What if it’s just me?

Procrastination Destination: The bear attack scene from The Revenant

CW: gore, violence

Remember the time Leonardo DiCaprio died in the freezing ocean? Or maybe the time he entered a dream within a dream within a dream? Cool moments, right?

Wrong. Not compared to this. None of those Leo moments even come close to his best performance of all: the time he got attacked by a massive CGI grizzly bear for literally four minutes straight.

Four minutes.

Imagine something that takes less time than four minutes. Now imagine a different thing (I’m sure that first thing will improve). It seriously blows my mind that the director chose to spend that much time on this scene. It is just an absurdly unnecessary amount of bear attack.

And it is such a strange scene because the bear attack happens three separate times. When you watch the video be sure to note the timestamp at which the bear attack should have ended. That’s right. It’s at ninety two seconds. There is an extra two and half minutes for the bear to come back and put in the work. And then it does. Twice!

It just adds nothing to the movie, and maybe that’s why I love it so much. It’s such an honest moment of BS spectacle that exists because they had the money and the actor capable of grunting so well. I’d like to think I’d create something similar with those resources.

So, yeah, watch the best four minutes in movie history after you inevitably get eliminated from tonight’s HQ because airwes lags and screws your chances at $1,500 divided evenly amongst 1,600 people.

PRIMAL SCREAM

From Arron Luo ’18:

Tonight, when reading period turns to exam period, is the PRIMAL SCREAM because finals start tomorrow!!!! Here’s the link to the Facebook event if you’d like that. This time it is Neon Genesis Evangelion-themed. Here’s the link to the anime if you’d like that.

Indulge in this great Wes tradition tonight and gather together on the Olin steps to scream your hearts/S² engines out! There will be a countdown.

Date: TONIGHT
Time: MIDNIGHT
Place: Olin steps

Procrastination Destination: Wikipedia Racing

We’re almost at finals week, which means it’s time for Wesleying’s biannual Procrastination Destination feature. If you’re like me, you’re probably wondering why you haven’t started studying yet. You should probably start studying… But if you need a good study break, you might as well procrastinate while learning new things.

So on that note, let me introduce you to Wikipedia Racing!

There are two forms of the game that you can play. The first version of the game is something that you play with your friends. The rules are simple:

  1. Choose an article to start on, and an article to end on. (For example, start on Justin Bieber, end on candy canes)
  2. You have to get from the first article to the destination article by only clicking on links within the wikipedia articles.
  3. First person to get to the ending article wins!
  4. For an extra challenge, you can add rules like no using the back button, or you can’t click through the United States (hot wikipedia racing tip, you can get to almost anything from the United States Wikipedia article). You can also change the rules and say that the person who finds the shortest path to the destination article wins, regardless of how long it takes. You can really add any rules you want to, it’s a very flexible game.

Using the example I gave before (Justin Bieber to candy canes), here is a demonstration of how Wikipedia racing works.

Justin Bieber –> Under the Mistletoe –> Christmas Music –> Christmas –> Candy Canes

That was a pretty easy example, but you can do some really weird ones, like Limes to the Treaty of Versailles, or Las Meninas to Wesleyan University. Maybe you can trick yourself into feeling like you are studying by choosing topics for the start/end articles that are related to your work. If you are having trouble thinking of articles, try the random Wikipedia article generator.

As for the other version of Wikipedia Racing, maybe you want to procrastinate alone in the library, or you don’t want your friends to see you avoiding your work. Fear not! There is also an antisocial version of Wikipedia Racing that you can play online. The online version of the game decides the start and end articles for you (you can’t even pretend like you are studying), but it is still a great way to avoid your work.

Textbook Buyback at Wesleyan RJ Julia Bookstore

Finished studying? Bring your textbooks to Wesleyan RJ Julia Bookstore Dec. 9-17 and exchange them for COLD HARD CASH. It doesn’t matter where you bought them, all you need is your Wesleyan ID– we’ll buy them back! Return rental textbooks to the bookstore by December 17.

Date: Saturday, Dec. 9th – Sunday, Dec. 17th
Time: 9am – 6pm
Place: Wesleyan RJ Julia Bookstore