Author Archives: Brian


ePortfolio is (EDIT: WAS) down for maintenance today — the cause? A “security breach”. See Xue’s post on the update from ITS

From ePortfolio:

Eportfolio, WesNet, Classifieds and others ….
are unavailabe for several hours starting Aug 2 at 11am.
We are investigating an incident which warrants this action.

From Assistant Director of Technology Support Services James Taft‘s all campus email:

Due to a security breach in the ePortfolio system, ITS is shutting down ePortfolio in order to stop the unauthorized access and patch the vulnerabilities that allowed the break-in to occur. We do not yet know the duration of the downtime, but we estimate that it will be a couple of hours. We will follow up with more information as we learn more about the issue.

If this h4x0r unsubscribes me from my Custom Events Calendar, all is lost.

Things could always be worse:

OMG! It’s (EDIT: NOT) the Apple iSalesRep!

EDIT, by Brian: Ok guys; I’ve been had. Where are the hidden cameras? As a result, it appears the series of pictures which follows this text is misleading. Justin D responds:

> Your recent post on Wesleying is more than a bit misleading. I am not
> yet officially employed by Apple (and technically, won’t be for the
> foreseeable future) and, as such, I am receiving no compensation of
> any kind for spreading the news about the most revolutionary mobile
> device ever created (mm, mm, good: iPhone). I’d like it if you would
> clearly state, as an addendum to your post, that there is no conflict
> of interest in this situation?and do so as soon as possible.

Definitely. Sounds like there is no conflict of interest in this situation, I was wrong, and that was weak.

Mr. T, your verdict?

True that, Mr. T. This article was written without enough info, not enough fact checking, and once, in the late 1980s, this article smoked but did not inhale. Brian’s current credibility: down the shitter. Justin’s current cred: top notch.

Just for Brian’s criminal record: a series of images that will probably be deleted soon (note to self: save sweet dramatic word enlargement graphic)

From Facebook

Internet down, try dialup.

The internet (aka the DNS lookup server) was down for the residential halls between 3 and 4 today, so if you’ve just woken up, consider yourself lucky. No suicides were reported during this outage.

It’s not April Fools day. JKz APRIL FOOLS!

Yes, it’s that time of year again, which means we are kicking off…

Here’s the deal. Send us pictures/videos and descriptions of your on-campus April Fools’ day pranks, and we’ll put the best ones up on here, thus prolonging the shame of your victim and securing your place among the best of the best. Bonus points if it involves none of the Wesleying staff (don’t hurt me).

So go for it. Make your hungover roommate wake up in the graveyard. Change your friend’s Chapstik up with blood-red lipstick. Mess with some official doctor stationary and make your friend think ze’s pregnant. The possibilities are endless, and so are the possible consequences for your actions (“Yes, officer, I technically murdered him, but it was really just an April Fools’ prank on his entire family.”)

That’s the gist of it. Send your submissions to…

Submit by 11:59pm, April 1st (midnight tonight) for a chance at glory.

Sucks to be you…

Freshmen received an interesting email from Ethan Kleinberg, director of the Wesleyan College of Letters today. At 2:41pm, he writes:

“[…] I would like to remind you that the College of Letters applications are due today, Monday March 26 by 3 p.m. at COL office Butterfied C 411.”

Those of you who happened to check your email within the first ninteen minutes after 2:41, I hope you were able to both write and walk really, really fast.