This is part of our Procrastination Destination series: bringing you deliciously silly articles to help you procrastinate on your finals. Stay tuned for more in the coming days!

About two months ago, I perpetually had “write Wesleying article” on my agenda. This command must have wormed its way into my psyche, because one night I had a dream where I was miraculously compelled to write an article on all of the possible ways one could fall down in the libraries on campus. A manual, of sorts. 

I woke up with the unshakeable conviction that this was an article I had to write. So here it is. 

Falling Inspiration for The Chronically Uninspired 

If you have been looking for the antidote to numbness, to the soul-sucking monotony that drags you like a sleepwalker over sticky carpet and really ugly linoleum, look no further. Falling is the perfect way to remind yourself that you’re not just a brain on legs, and best of all: it requires no more than 30 seconds, absolutely no forethought, and minimal cleanup. So loosen up and topple over!