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THESISCRAZY 2016 (Part 4): Don’t Hug Me, I’m Scared

“That’s what I’m going to be dedicating my last month at Wesleyan to: Toasting perfect toast.”

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Yo yo yo, this is part 4 of THESISCRAZY 2016, the annual series where we bug thesis writers with fun questions about their poops and such. You can catch earlier installments of THESISCRAZY here, here, and here, and you can check out the archives here. If you’re interested in being interviewed sometime before April 12th, feel free to email staff(at)wesleying(dot)org and include your name, major, carrel number/workspace, and times you can meet.

Okay, I’m getting tired of writing intros. Let’s just get to it.

THESISCRAZY 2016 (Part 3): Just The Tip

“He makes a lot of noises and slaps his butt.”

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Congrats, you’ve made it to part 3 of THESISCRAZY 2016, the annual Wesleying series where we force thesis-writing seniors to come out of their anti-social snake people caves carrels and talk to us about what they’re working on. You can read the other THESISCRAZY 2016 interviews here and here, and you can check out the THESISCRAZY archives here.

Let’s talk theses and shit after the jump.

THESISCRAZY 2016 (Part 2): The 91,000-Word Thesis

“Sometimes I’ll send people on the fourth floor little esoteric notes from lizard people.”

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Welcome back to THESISCRAZY 2016, where we talk to stressed thesis writers about the thing that has been taking up all their headspace for the past 8-12 months (because what could go wrong with that?). You can check out THESISCRAZY 2016 Part 1 here, read the THESISCRAZY archive here, and stay tuned for more THESISCRAZY posts before April 12th.

Are you a senior thesis writer who wants something other to do other than staring at your computer screen and eating food from Weshop’s candy aisle? Email staff(at)wesleying(dot)org with your name, major, workspace/carrel number, and times you can meet before April 12th.

Onward, folks.

THESISCRAZY 2016 (PART 1): Frequent Feces and Queer Theory

“Everybody’s so, ‘I’m gonna be so drunk, find me in a ditch.'”

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Hello, hello and welcome to the first installment of THESISCRAZY 2016. We’ve got some great interviews in here, so sit back, relax, and have an existential crisis over whether or not writing a thesis is a actually good idea. Oh, and you can see THESISCRAZY interviews from previous years by clicking here.

If you’re a senior writing a thesis and you want to commiserate about your thesis poops and most traumatic thesis experiences, email us at staff(at)wesleying(dot)org and include your name, major, workspace info (carrel, lab, etc.), and times you can meet before April 12th.

Thesis-ing is after the jump.

BREAKING: BØRNS Inadvertently Announces He’s One of Our Spring Fling Acts


It has come to our attention that BØRNS, some “American indie pop artist” (according to Wikipedia) that I’ve never heard of, put his spring/summer concert lineup on his Facebook page (see above graphic), and lo and behold, it says that on May 5th (the Thursday after classes end, otherwise known as ~*~SPRING FLING~*~), he is coming to Wesleyan. Somehow he spelled “Wesleyan” correctly (and got the “University” part right) but managed to spell “Middletown” incorrectly. Whoops.

We’ll update as we learn more (the Spring Fling Committee told us via email they’re not officially announcing anything until April 8th), but if you’re like me and have no fucking clue who BØRNS is, here are some tunes:

Tell Us How Much You Hate Writing Your Thesis For THESISCRAZY 2016


If you’re a senior who is reading this post because you’re procrastinating working on your thesis, it’s your lucky day: We want to interview YOU about your thesis and deteriorating mental state (and your plans for April 12th, besides chugging a big ass bottle of Andre) for Wesleying’s very hip-hop-happening THESISCRAZY feature.

To see past THESISCRAZY posts, here’s the archive (which is perfect for anyone looking to not do their work today):

Interested in being interviewed? Email staff(at)wesleying(dot)org and include your name, potential times to meet up before April 12th, and where you’re doing your thesis/want to chat (carrel number, name of building/room where you work, home, etc.).

God Indeed Blessed America: Lin-Manuel Miranda ’02 Freestyled with President Barack Obama

Skip ahead to the 53-minute mark to see the cast of Hamilton perform.

We were freaking the fuck out when Wesleyan mascot Lin-Manuel Miranda ’02 freestyled on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, but holy shit balls this dude is freestyling with THE PRESIDENT OF THE GODDAMN UNITED STATES OF ‘MERICA.

The cast of Miranda’s smash hit Hamilton did a special performance at the White House today, and these Rose Garden shenanigans also took place. See this tweet and prepare to shit your pants:

And yes, Barack, the vid did indeed go viral.

Bryan Stevenson Named the 2016 Commencement Speaker (and Patti Smith Is Also Coming to Campus)

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After months of hilarious gossip circulating about Bernie Sanders being our commencement speaker, MRoth is putting rumors to rest: Bryan Stevenson, founder of the Equal Justice Initiative and a professor at NYU Law School (and owner of an impressive AF Wikipedia page), will be delivering the commencement address. Stevenson will also receive an honorary degree from the university.

Some other cool news (that astag_rocky is currently shitting his pants over): Patti Smith (yes, THE Patti Smith) will be attending and receiving an honorary degree, as will Kwame Anthony Appiah, renowned philosopher whose long list of amazing accomplishments include winning the National Humanities Medal in 2012.

And no surprise here: John Usdan of the Usdan University Center Usdans is receiving the Baldwin Medal, the highest honor from Wesleyan’s alumni association, which recognizes “outstanding service to Wesleyan.”

You can read MRoth’s full email after the jump (it’s hella long).

Info Session: Learn About Serving Up Change with FoodCorps

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Huzzah, a short Wesleying reunion! From Syed Ali ’13 (known to Planet Internet as simply Syed):

Looking for ways to put your energy towards something meaningful? To address your community’s health in concrete ways? To address issues of food justice by getting your hands dirty?

FoodCorps service members serve a year at schools in limited resource communities to give kids food and nutrition lessons that give them the information they need to make smart choices; hands-on activities like gardening and cooking that foster their skills and pride around healthy food; and lunch trays filled with nutritious meals from local farms.

At the same time, through their service, our members are learning new skills and paving the way towards their future careers as educators, chefs, community organizers and public health advocates.

Learn more at our information session tonight! Communications Coordinator Syed Ali ’13, Connecticut Service Member Ruthie Lazenby ’10, and Connecticut fellow Chelsey Hahn will discuss and take questions on how FoodCorps can accelerate your career.

Date: TODAY, March 1st
Time: 7pm
Place: Usdan 110

A Petition Is Circulating to Keep Physics Professor Christina Othon on Campus

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It’s no secret that Wesleyan has a problem holding onto great professors (see: our 2014 article on Professor Sarah Mahurin2012 article about tenure, and 2011 article on our hiring stats and issues). The lack of transparency surrounding why we can’t seem to keep anyone appears to be another issue entirely. Chances are if you’ve been here for a while, you’ve seen at least one phenomenal professor be denied tenure and/or not asked back, only to have the department say that the prof just “wasn’t a good fit.” What the F does that even mean?

Right now, students, led by Nisha Grewal ’17, are fighting to keep Assistant Professor of Physics Christina Othon, who’s been at Wesleyan since 2010, on campus. You can sign the petition HERE and check out the Facebook page supporting Professor Othon staying on campus HERE.

Here’s Grewal’s petition, which garnered over 100 signatures by early afternoon on Thursday: