Author Archives: schmox

About schmox

I'm half the man you'll ever be.

FEATURED
Nobody Reads the WSA E-Mails: Presidential and Vice Presidential Candidates on Working Together, Trying New Things, and Experimenting More

It’s Thursday afternoon, and WSA elections are drawing to a close. You’re headed home from class, perhaps cooling off from a refreshing jaunt in the Freeman Athletic Center’s spacious main gym. Something about the air today urges you to make a difference in your community, and you resolve to exercise your right to vote immediately upon returning to your dorm. One particular candidate’s catchy slogans, likeable demeanor, and prioritization of social justice really resonate with you, and after receiving extensive campaign coverage via liveblog, you feel prepared to cast your ballot.

But wait! Don’t click that button just yet! Read this excruciatingly long, questionably serious group interview with the candidates first! MAKE AN INFORMED DECISION.

As “someone who has no connection to the WSA and can regard it with some amount of irreverent distance” according to an anonymous peer—let’s call him Zach—I was apparently well equipped to conduct this interview, although I have reason to believe vice presidential candidate Andrew Trexler ’14 knows my cousin. (Trexler and aspiring president Nicole Updegrove ’14 are running against an adorable President-VP ticket consisting of Mari Jarris ’14 and Chloe Murtagh ’15, as well as loose cannon wildcard Keith Conway ’16). Those of you brave souls who do chose to venture on past the jump may consider this interview redundant, long-winded, repetitive, and redundant, but I choose to think of it as EPIC and implore you to do the same.

TL;DR:

  • Mari and Chloe like trying new things.
  • Trexler has already tried lots of things.
  • Keith has a lot more friends than I do.
  • Nicole has allergies.

If you cowards are discouraged by the impressive length of this interview, just think about how long it would take to conduct and transcribe it. I’m just saying. Seriously think about it. Blogging is a lot of work, but I do it because I love you. Or maybe I just thought you were cute, I don’t know. 

Could this be the longest Wesleying post ever? Do I hate myself for writing it? Will you fall asleep while reading? Did I make any typos? Did one of the candidates have sexual relations with that woman? Isn’t the election, like, over already? WHERE ARE THEY?? Find out after the jump!

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FEATURED
How to Lose Pre-Reg Priority and Alienate Professors: Maggie Feldman-Piltch ’14 on Being a University Major

After recently declaring a lucrative double major in Impractical Humanities Discipline and Apparently Useless Social Science According to Those Debates on the ACB, this intellectually curious blogger began to wonder what motivates students to pursue a field of study that requires actual work. Unlike my lazy ass, Theories of Ethics in Capitalism major Maggie Feldman-Piltch ’14 is one of ten current students who designed their own academic departments under Wesleyan’s University Major program.

Like many of its peer institutions, Wesleyan attracts prospective students with the opportunity to “work independently at integrating the core skills and background knowledge necessary to realize a coherent intellectual objective.” In other words, University majors do whateva they want.

If transcending the restrictive disciplinary boundaries imposed by academia’s arbitrary departmental segmentation appeals to you, you should probably read this interview. If you responded to the question “Are you Wesleyan?” with a resounding “I don’t know, maybe, this recruiting strategy is kind of cheesy,” you’re probably right. If you’re wondering why, I can assure you that #thisiswhy.

TL;DR: One out of 25 faculty members agree that inventing your own major is a good idea.

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FEATURED
Wes Reference Dropped in 30 Rock Finale, James Marsden Remains Physically Attractive

Liz Lemon is still tryna hate on the Tech. This isn’t the first time the writer/compulsive overeater/occasional exotic dancer has unleashed her vitriol on Old Wesleyan. Fortunately, we here at the “Tufts of central Connecticut” have adopted what you might call a “my haters are my motivators” attitude and thus consider all press to be good press.

Said reference is made in regard to Lemon’s incredibly charming and really really really ridiculously good-looking new husband Criss, whose degree in ethnomusicology has landed him a job as a dental office receptionist. I, for one, respect Lemon’s main squeeze for recognizing the value of a liberal arts education, and for just generally being fine as hell.

Budding ethnomusicologists and/or dental receptionists can watch the episode here and are welcome to join me at a screening later this evening as an alternative to that sports battle everyone is so up in arms about. Night cheese will be provided. Watch the clip after the jump, and check out previous 30 Rock shout-outs here and here.

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FEATURED
Wes Seniors Release Video, Prove that Stuffed Animals Are Still Cool in College

The latest touching dog movie to hit the YouTubes is quickly gaining popularity for its originality and authentic homegrown Wesleyan flair, though this one unfortunately doesn’t star Dave Matthews. In what may or may not be an effort to prove the haterz wrong, resident canine enthusiasts Matt Lichtash ’13 and Evan Weber ’13 have produced a swagtastic video chronicling Weber’s journey to the Wesleyan package window with his mayne Shadow, a gloriously plush stuffed dog whose preferred mode of transportation is a fine set of wheels. Intentionally or otherwise, this at times hilarious, at times heart-wrenching short piece definitively answers the question that’s been plaguing our generation: Is it considered derpy to keep stuffed animals in my dorm?? :/

Expert cinematography on Lichtash’s part frames what just might be the next Great American YouTube Clip About Someone’s Stuffed Dog. At the risk of entering spoiler territory, I will reveal to you only this: the package finds its rightful owner well. But the adventure has only just begun.

An insider source exclusively revealed that this groundbreaking development in cinema has already caught the attention of Evan’s mom, who “liked it so much as to post its link on her Facebook page.” The film is additionally rumored to have received a rating of 5 stars from DJ Darkslope’s mother.

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FEATURED
Noro is Back

PSA: Stop reading Wesleying and wash your hands. Again.

This is not a drill. Anyone who caught the plague last semester may have been lulled into a false sense of security, but be warned: the unwelcome invader that had you leaning over a toilet last spring (on a weeknight) is back for a sequel, and it wants revenge. This morning, the Health Center Staff sent out a Public Health Advisory informing the student body of a recent increase of stomach flu in the surrounding area. In case you still haven’t figured out why you’re vomiting, a helpful description of the norovirus’ symptoms was provided:

The onset of gastroenteritis may be gradual (over 12-24 hours) or more sudden, sometimes waking students from sleep with a bout of nausea and vomiting, accompanied in some cases by headache, dizziness, sense of temperature disequilibrium and fatigue.  In some cases the diarrhea starts immediately, but in most it starts about 12 hours after the vomiting, which has usually resolved by that time.

The no-no virus is usually transmitted via a fecal-oral route. In other words, WASH YO HANDS. And for the last time, please stop eating poop, guys.

The Health Center additionally warns that, should you fall prey to this most vicious ailment, “the intervening hours are miserable.” Prepare yourselves. E-mail your Global Change and Infectious Disease professor. It’s only a matter of time before the enemy infiltrates Old Meth. E-mail provided after the jump.

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Macdonough Students Film “Gangnam Style” Parody

What I want to know is where can I find this “Alicia” and do you think she’d lay down some vocals for my lo-fi electro dream-synthpop mixtape?

Assuming most Wesleyan students check Da Patch on the daily and/or frequent the YMCA Kids’ Korner, you’ve probably already seen this hilariously endearing “Gangnam Style” parody featuring our friends from Macdonough Elementary. In case you live under a rock, “Gangnam Style” is South Korean pop sensation PSY’s insanely popular satirical single whose viral Youtube status (735,723,859 views and counting) has had this unfortunate effect. At a staggering 1,427 views, “Gangnam Style Parody” claims to be “the viral video of the summer.” While this assertion is perhaps premature, I would definitely support a collective effort on the part of Wesleyan students to validate it.

According to the Patch article, these tweens are “on the front lines of what’s cool in pop culture.” For additional proof that Middletown’s youths are significantly flyer than most of the people at this school, see here, here, and here.

For the Usdan vegan section’s take on “Gangnam Style,” watch this.

Open House Seeks New Housemate

Don’t try this at home. Unless you live here.

If you’ve been abroad this fall, find your current roommate unsettling, want to live closer to the undeniably sexy residents of The Bayit, or suspect that a tell-tale heart lurks beneath your floorboards, you should probably talk to Izzy Rode ’14:

Queer?
Kinky?
Politically queer?
Love queers?
Want to live in an environment that supports all things queer?

Apply to live in Open House next semester!

For application, email irode(at)wesleyan(dot)edu.

Applications must be turned in by November 16th @9AM.

Place: All the places (mostly Open House)

EVENT
Domesticating the Holocaust: Our Twisted Love Affair with Bernhard Schlink’s The Reader

Professor Iris Bork-Goldfield writes in:

William Donahue, Professor of German and Professor of Literature as well as a member of the Center for Jewish Studies and the Center for European Studies at Duke University, will discuss new research on the reception of the Holocaust for a work in progress and for Holocaust Lite, the recently published German translation of his book Holocaust as Fiction: Bernhard Schlink’s “Nazi” Novels and Their Films. Holocaust in Fiction is “the first scholarly study to probe the ‘Schlink phenomenon’ and to analyze its profound role in coming to terms with the Holocaust. Donahue dissects the seductive, transnational appeal of his work and the ways in which popular culture more generally has contributed to the success of Germany’s normalization campaign” (Todd Samuel Presner).

Sponsored by German Studies and Jewish & Israel Studies.

Date: Tuesday, November 13th
Time: 7:30 pm
Place: Downey 113

EVENT
Study Abroad in Berlin

From Professor Iris Bork-Goldfield:

Meet Jochen Wohfeil, Adjunct Associate Professor of the Practice in German and Resident Director of  Duke in Berlin.

Jochen Wohlfeil, usually omnipresent in Berlin as Director of Duke University’s academic program there but in residence in Durham this semester, will give a presentation on Duke in Berlin and discuss student life in Germany’s greatest city.

Date: Today, November 12
Time: 4:20 pm – 5:30 pm
Place: Fisk 210

EVENT
Wes Blood Drives – First Drive of the Year

Jackie Freed ’15 is a vampire:

Did you know: One pint of blood can save up to three lives? Every two seconds, someone in the US needs a blood transfusion? The Red Cross supplies approx. 40% of the nation’s blood supply?

This is where you come in! The first blood drive of the year is this week on Wednesday and Thursday from 12:00-4:45 in Beckham Hall. Sign up for an appointment in Usdan on Monday and Tuesday or go to www.redcrossblood.org and find the drive using sponsor code WesleyanU to make your own appointment. Walk-ins will be welcomed but the wait time is much shorter with an appointment.

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