You won’t be ~sorry~ you chose Wes ;)
Every year as the summer draws to an end and the countdown to Wes begins, a new class of froshpeople fall into a frenzy. We know you’ve got questions:
“How do I live with a roommate? What do you mean there’s no AC? How many nights a week can I actually party without dying/going broke/failing all my classes? What’s a breakfast pail? How do I manage to see that one person I hooked up with the first night of orientation everywhere on such a small campus? Is it chill if I just walk into any bathroom when I have to pee? How do you pronounce Usdan?”
It’s pronounced yous-dan. You’re welcome.
from the wesleyan photo tumblr, probably by Will Barr ’18
The time is here, the time is now: Wesleyan’s class of 2016 is graduating today! Over the course of the past weekend, the median age on Foss has gone up to something like 30, an old dude asked one of my friends where to find drugs, and everyone is hungover. The ceremony begins at 11am and features commencement speaker Bryan Stevenson.
You can watch a livestream here, and read our liveblog after the jump:
I am hyped up, off-campus, riding on the coattails of Friday the 13th… yet, somehow, I find myself typing on Wesleying just to guide you in procrastinating both finals and packing to gtfo campus. To help you in your quest for distraction, I leave you with the following top three most popular Alternate Reality Youtube Series following one of the creepiest, most obsessively followed myths of the internet – Slenderman. (Couldn’t you tell by the title?)
I know this is a pretty big claim but throwback Bar Mitzvah-esque tunes might just be my favorite thing in all of cyberspace. For all of you who didn’t have the experience that is a Jewish coming of age ceremony, simply imagine a crowd of pre-pubescent tweens, shitfaced middle aged Jewish professionals, and your grandparents and all of their closest friends shaking their ~tuchus~ to these tunes. Sufficiently horrified?
Anyway, I’ve curated a selection I feel sums up the vibe. Admittedly, I’ve been listening to these while studying all semester and they’re awesome. So awesome, in fact, that my non-Jewish friends now all want to be Bar Mitzvah-ed. Such is the power of the Bar Mitzvah tune.
Let’s start with a classic: the Hora. Except that this Hora is re-imagined as all the worst parts of music production circa 2007 rolled into one. Warning: you will find yourself singing this one. I’ve caught at least three of my friends listening to this while they study.
Finals have begun, you don’t know how much caffeine you’ve had but you’re permanently vaguely nauseous, all your wescam correspondence is happening between 2 and 5AM, and–for some reason–panic hasn’t set in yet. What better time, then, to watch videos of inanimate objects participating in “sport”? I somehow know the Kentucky Derby happened this weekend, and I imagine this is at least as exciting. Check below the jump for more things neither one of us should be spending our time on.
As a diligent citizen of the internet, I’ve spent a fair amount of time following strange and surreal stories to their murky origins. One that’s caught my fancy recently is Zardulu.
Who is Zardulu? No one really knows. In her twitter bio, she says:
“I am Zardulu. I am the Mythmaker. Myths are dreams we dream together and are not our greatest dreams the ones we believed were real?”
Intrigued? I was. Read on to find out more about the mysterious Zardulu.
Welcome to another one of our In Depth features, where I’ll be covering USLAC. (By the way, in case you haven’t picked up on my blatant pro-USLAC bias yet, I’m a member of the club/out here ~*~scamming 4 full communism at Wes~*~, depending on who you ask. Either way, true.)
USLAC, or the United Student/Labor Action Coalition, has been around at Wesleyan for a while. However, until about halfway this semester, USLAC was on a brief hiatus. Old school USLAC did some super good work on campus, which you can read about here, and some students wanted to have the opportunity to make a difference on campus. So the new members, coordinated with former USLAC members to revive the club. They also took the opportunity to connect with a dope organization that hosts chapters of labor rights groups at schools nationwide, USAS, or United Students Against Sweatshops. So many acronyms! And whoa-what is USLAC anyway, right? Because I’m not nearly eloquent enough to describe the group’s mission myself, here’s a handy description I got from good ‘ole Orgsync:
It’s the last day of reading week (“week”) and you’re probably screwed. If you’ve been day drinking, messing around, and generally making terrible choices, AND you want to see your life paralleled by a bunch of small foul-mouthed mammals, check out Lauren Monger’s Clementine Comix, now featured in a VICE column. Read on for some personal favorites.
“[W]e just don’t talk about what Doug would do for a slice of pineapple and ham anymore. Not since Apple told us it violated the iTunes Store’s terms of service…”
How do you create a sci-fi world without high-budget planet explosions, lens flares for days, or whitewashing cybernetic humans? Simple – record podcasts in the form of a space crew’s audio logs. In its third season, the award-winning, all-Wes alum-produced Wolf 359 chronicles the merits of floating around in the middle of nowhere. In space, no one may hear you scream, but communications officer Doug Eiffel and the rest of the USS Hephaestus beg to differ.
Here, Gabriel Urbina ‘13 (Head Writer and Executive Producer) and Zach Valenti ‘12 (Lead Actor and Executive Producer) talk about sunless basements, WesRave, plant monsters, and who they’d rather be stuck with aboard the USS Hephaestus. Read the full interview after the jump.
It’s that time of year. The sun has returned to our campus, the salmon shorts have emerged, and it’s Zonker Harris Day. I’m here for today’s festivities, here to document all the weird shit going on in the WestCo courtyard.