Have you ever had the absolute pleasure of eating a chicken gyro sandwich (Or tofu! We’re vegan-friendly here) at a table outside Usdan when the soft melodies of James Taylor suddenly floated past your ears? No? Well, in that case, I feel sorry for you my friend.
With the advent of Zoom came a new set of social norms. Amongst those were a newly adapted set of ways to bid your professor farewell. Given that we haven’t been vaccinated yet–and are therefore still under the tyranny of Zoom, we here at Wesleying thought it may be useful to run through the various options one has when it comes to leaving a zoom meeting. How exactly do you say goodbye?
Let’s be honest, it’s been a year. And as if you didn’t have it hard enough, you’re also writing a thesis?!? Goodness gracious.
We want to talk to you! Tell us about the birth of your beautiful thesis baby, and don’t leave anything out. Tell us about the highs, the lows, and the ~highs. Tell us about life in general, and how that’s going. Tell us about all of the life knowledge you’ve accumulated in the past four years. And tell us your post-thesis plans. (Champagne? Crying? We want to know!)
Fill out the form here!
(For past THESISCRAZY posts, feel free to procrastinate on a decade’s worth of alum interviews, listed below)
Let it be known that at approximately 4:21 PM on March 31st, 2021, the entire student body of Wesleyan University could be heard giving a collective sigh of relief.
Why, you may ask? Well I am pleased to announce (drum roll please)…
They’re vaccinating all on-campus students.
It’s just a quick trip to Wesportal and a click on the bright red “Schedule COVID-19 Vaccination” at the top of your screen. From there fill out the form and presto, you’re good to go! Now all you have to do is wait in agony for the next 24 days, 16 hours, and 12 minutes!
But hey, who’s counting?
So hop to it, and happy vaccinating my friends!
Read the text of the all campus email after the break:
Okay, here’s the deal. We all know that the only sure-fire way to make friends— that is, bonding at a party whilst drunk — is currently, shall we say, an unavailable option to the first-year class. In light of this unfortunate development, the Wesleyan Class of ’24 (myself included) has been forced to get a little creative. Some of these endeavors have been entirely successful! Others have…not gotten the desired result. So, if you’re one of the people out there (honestly, even if you’re not a first-year! Transfers! Lonely upperclassmen! What have you!) and you’re not entirely sure how to navigate the whole I-don’t-want-to-go-insane-alone-in-quarantine situation, look no further! I can help you out with all your innovative friend-making needs; the tried-and-true methods as well as the tried-and-epically-failed ones.
That’s my fetish.
In pandemic times, we’re all looking for that added sense of excitement. Me? I’ve been getting that rush through my biweekly university-mandated COVID test. Let me show you what you’ve been doing wrong:
As the snow melts and the sun begins peaking through the clouds, Wesleyan students still remain aghast about the incident which occurred amongst the cold nights of quarantine. Hardly any students were responsive to interview requests; it seems as though no one has an accurate account of the event, or rather, are unwilling to self-incriminate. Luckily, Wesleying was able to put the pieces together.
Here’s a real one from the real G himself Michael S. Roth.
Excuse me sir
Damn, Mikey Roth. How is this space ever going to be safe enough with that kind of divisive language smh.
Yes this is a real quote
Thank you to hen for the beautiful image
You sexy, sexy supermarket.
My Dearest Weshop,
You are the jewel of Middletown, the exemplar of goodness, the light of my life. You’re not like other campus supermarkets: You have personality. You’re so smart and funny! You mean so much to me.
We’ve shared so many moments together. Remember all those times I stopped by to buy an Arizona Iced Tea? And there was that one time I bought vanilla extract for like, 15 points. All for you.
I love you, Weshop.
I’ve given you so much. (Because I’m a nice guy!) But now I hope you’ll help me. Because if you want to take this obsessive, parasocial relationship to the next level, there’s just one thing I want from you…