Category Archives: Featured

Like Gummy Bear Vitamins? You’ll Love Cummies!

“A lot of times, people don’t know what they want until you show it to them.”  -Steve Jobs (1998)

In the YouTube debut of esteemed Wesleyan alums Russell Goldman ’17 and Johnny LaZebnik ’16, we are introduced to Cummies®: “the world’s first ever jizz-flavored vitamin chew”.

The testimonials in this parody infomercial leave you with some pleasant mental images as to the accurate flavor of Cummies®.  Lines describing the flavor include, “An almost empty glass of white wine with a little bit of ranch dressing plopped in”, “Three day old oyster water”, and “Black truffle that’s washed up under the Santa Monica Pier”.

The infomercial ends with an offer for a bonus bottle of Facielle by Cummies®, a lotion, and then a shot of Brent (played by Johnny) being splattered with the lotion in a rather suggestive way.  Describing how many takes this shot took, Johnny said, “By the end, I looked like I’d just shot a bukake scene with 50 well-hydrated men.”

Watch after the jump:

The Return of Rhys

These days, Rhys Langston ’16  spends most of his time paying fealty as a vassal to the Estate of Langstónia—a purportedly earthly domain which is located, as far as I can tell, somewhere between Los Feliz and Phuket. This weekend, he returns to perform at the alma mater from whose generous womb he recently walked into what some call reality. Last month saw the release of Rhys’s long awaited album, Aggressively Ethnically Ambiguous, which features a few familiar bangers from Eclectic shows of yore amidst plenty of new material. Listen to the tape and read more after the jump.

Professor Tyshawn Sorey Wins MacArthur “Genius” Grant

The list of 2017 MacArthur fellows was released today. I found out in the opening moments of my seminar on creative music this morning—just before we discussed Weather Report, Snarky Puppy, and the misnomer of jazz fusion—that my professor, composer and multi-instrumentalist Tyshawn Sorey MA ’11, is on it. Read more and find links to his work after the jump:

Psi Upsilon Speaks Out Re: Cornell

Last month, major news outlets reported on a racially charged hate crime associated with Cornell University’s chapter of Psi Upsilon. The administration at Cornell responded by shutting down the chapter indefinitely due to the frat’s history of repeatedly violating the school’s code of conduct.

The Wesleyan chapter of Psi U has sent in a statement to Wesleying regarding these events. The statement can be read after the jump.

Go Get a FREE Cupcake at Swings for Karen’s Birthday

Hey! Did you know that today is Karen Kaffen-Polascik‘s 50th birthday?? You might recognize Karen as a familiar face at WesWings or the Red & Black Cafe, where she is the co-owner along with Ed Thorndike ’89.

Yesterday, Ed tipped us off to a surprise cupcake food truck that would be coming to Swings during lunch hours today just for the occasion. The cupcakes are courtesy of WesWings, so stop by before the truck leaves and wish Karen (and her twin sister) a happy 50th!!!! Read past the jump for some quality pics of Karen:

From the Argives: OverheardAtWes, 19th Century Edition

Twitter accounts like @OverheardAtWes and @WeirdWes chronicle some of the wackiest things that Wesleyan students can be heard saying on a daily basis. Private conversations being subject to publication in campus-wide media may seem like a phenomenon exclusive to the internet era, but the concept of OverheardAtWes existed long before twitter. In fact, ridiculous student quotes were often featured in The Argus during the 1800s!

Here are some of the best original OverheardAtWes quotes from the 19th century after the jump:

Middletown’s Christopher Columbus Statue Tagged on Columbus Day

Today, I received an anonymous tip with only a single image attached (see above). It appears as though someone spray painted “murder” on the statue of Columbus that sits at Harbor Park, alongside the Connecticut River and in the vicinity of Wesleyan’s boat house.

The tagging is especially meaningful given that today the federal government, the state of Connecticut, and the City of Middletown recognize Columbus Day.

Statues of Columbus in Bridgeport, New Haven, and Norwalk were also tagged in coincidence with the holiday. The Middletown Press reports: