Today, my friends, I am going to introduce you to my personal favorite cryptid and American legend: The Loveland Frog. The Loveland Frog, aka the Loveland Frogman or the Loveland Lizard, is a four-foot-tall humanoid frog that has been spotted multiple times near Loveland, Ohio. He is said to have leathery skin, webbed hands and feet, and stands on two legs.
There have been multiple eyewitness accounts of the Loveland Frog throughout the years. Read them under the cut at your own risk.
Hi friendos. Today, I’m going to talk about knitting. Nobody in my life ever loved me enough to teach me how to knit, so I learned exclusively through videos like this. Now, I’m a straight-up string freak, up to the point where I have a folder of downloaded Ravelry patterns on my computer.
But here’s the secret: It’s easy. Too easy. What you need:
Welcome to the first installment of Procrastination Destination, where Wesleying provides you with #content to get you through finals.
How a man of culture spends his time…
You know when you go see a play, have a good time, then return to your dorm room at 9:45pm, planning to go to bed early to recharge for finals week like a responsible person? Ya, me neither. [Screams internally.]
I spent five blurry hours yesterday watching YouTube. I went to bed at 4:23am. When I woke up at 11:30 the next morning, I looked at my browsing history. And boy, lemme tell you, I found some real gems!
So for today’s edition of “procrastination destination,” I thought I’d show you the highlights from my slow decent into tastelessness.
#chamber #music #rocks
As I was perusing the tip box responses in our staff inbox with @fos over lunch today, I stumbled across a rather charming ode* to the Chamber Music Performance in Crowell from two Tuesday’s ago. The review was written with love and gusto, and is possibly the most eloquent piece I have had the pleasure to read during my time at Wesleyan. Whether you have been desperately awaiting a recap of this dazzling performance, or you’ve found yourself with some extra time on your hands, this is definitely worth a read. We recommend you read this piece in Professor Andrew Szegedy-Maszak‘s** voice while cuddled up with a blanket, a steaming cup of hot cocoa, and your cat.
This past weekend, from November 21-23, 2019, the musical In The Heights returned to campus after a 20 year hiatus. The show, originally written by Lin-Manuel Miranda ’02, featured an entirely POC cast, and was directed by Milton Espinoza Jr. ’22. Demand for the show was incredibly high, and each of the Eventbrite ticket sales (twice a day, once at 12:15p and one at 5:00p) sold out in under 15 seconds. The following is a guest post written by Ricardo Vega ’21 on the events that went down this past weekend.
This is Part 2 of a two-part article. Read the first part here.
Activism is used by Wesleyan as a means of advertisement, made into a commodity
Spring 2019 – Police Reports
Police reports from April 11th
According to Middletown Police reports, Public Safety called the police on April 11th not once, but twice, once at 9:17 AM, and again at 2:16 PM, with no actual presence from the police occurring for the first call.
TL;DR: Through convoluted, nearly incomprehensible methodology, he’s probably about 6’1″. But we’re still not sure.
Wesleyan’s beloved leader and figurehead posing in a picture with President Michael Roth.
President Michael Roth is ~7.55 Roth-heads tall. Lin-Manuel Miranda is ~7.12 Roth-heads tall.
As the semester nears its end, several local freshmen are coming to the realization that college may not, in fact, be the best time of their lives. This revelation has caused multiple Usdan meltdowns and many failed attempts to drink away reality.
“Everyone has told me my entire life that college will be so fun and I’ll make so many friends and go to so many parties” said A ‘23, who chose to remain anonymous due to the embarrassing fact that she only has two friends, “But like, parties can be gross? I’m too scared to admit to all the adults at home who keep asking if I’m having ‘fun’ that I don’t actually like the taste of beer.”
“Man, when I got recruited, I was so ready to be done with high school and just go play lacrosse all day for the Cards” admits Chad McBroson ‘23 “Nobody told me I still had to go to classes and stuff in college! Sometimes I even have to limit my beer pong to one game and then go study and shit. It’s whack.”
Other students have voiced concerns about issues including not meeting the loves of their lives, not discovering themselves, actually missing home and their families a little bit, and not having figured out their “calling” yet. Wesleying suggests that they all just suck it up and lie about all of it like the rest of us.
Wesleyan ‘14 graduate Ben Florsheim was recently elected as the Mayor of Middletown, thanks to a successful grassroots campaign and good taste in white button-downs. Going up against former Middletown mayor Seb Giuliano, no one could have predicted Ben’s underdog win- no one, that is, except Ben Florsheim circa 2014.
In his senior thesis “The Trail: A Dramatic Series” (recently uncovered by Sophie Elwood ’20), Ben Florsheim created an entirely fictional television pilot about a Connecticut mayoral race, that bears no similarities whatsoever to actual events that happened just 5 years later. It should be said that “The Trail” is not like other girls. Florsheim decries The West Wing, Scandal, and Veep for being unrealistic, and instead wants to recreate the gritty realism of The Wire. Per Florsheim, “Its aims… are for grit over polish and for depth, breadth, and a clear link to reality over snappy, self-contained storylines.”
And, much like The Wire, The Trail features an all-white cast and takes place on the mean streets of Central Connecticut. Its protagonist is the entirely fictional “Dan Singer”, a 29-year-old Democratic candidate for mayor of the entirely fictional “Middleburgh, Connecticut”.