Category Archives: Featured

Unofficial Orientation Series 2016: WesLingo

maxresdefaultThis post is an updated repost of a repost of a repost of a repost of a repost of a post for anyone who’s worried about sounding like a totally unassimilated dweeb walking around campus – which is inevitable, but this post is tradition by now. So frosh, listen up. Conformity is key. Which is probably the last thing you’d expect to hear at Wes.

At this point, you’ve probably spent your summer knowing the names of buildings as they are on the campus map (which is conveniently linked here for those of you who are procrastinating even that). Let me just tell you now: almost all of them have earned some nickname or other over the course of Wesleyan’s long lifetime. We’re here to help you relearn their de facto names, so you aren’t marching around looking like the uninformed frosh you are. Once again though, it’s inevitable; even if you’re “on your phone” we know you are looking at the school map as you head towards one direction and do a completely noticeable 180 degree turn towards your building of choice.

Click after the jump to fake it ’til you make it.

Unofficial Orientation Series 2016: Tweet at Us!

“must be a lot more powerful than I imagined. Didn’t realize I could cause such havoc. EXTRA…Cher makes Twitter IRRELVANT. News at 11” – Cher

TWITTERFEATURE

This is an announcement post. Basically we’re announcing that this Sunday at 3PM EST, Wesleying will be hosting a Twitter chat with any and all who would welcome our snarky online presence. This is part of our 2016 Unofficial Orientation Series, which launches IN FULL FORCE on July 24th! A quick reminder that you can check out the welcome post here, the Dorm Living FAQ post here, and past years’ series here.

Confused as to what this is/why we’re doing a Twitter chat for the first time? Don’t worry: we got u. Here’s why:

Unofficial Orientation 2016: Dorm Living FAQ

Holly and Xue wrote the first version of this post in 2006 and it has been reposted every year since then.  Dorm Life never changes much. Unless Fauver becomes Bennett.

Pictured: A bright-eyed young freshman shakes his groove thang, eager to impress his lofty peers. Taken by Rachel Pincus '13.

Pictured: A bright-eyed young freshman shakes his groove thang, eager to impress his lofty peers. Taken by Rachel Pincus ’13.

Dear frosh of 2020,

As you are probably fretting about your first day of college, a sense of melancholy (or jittery excitement and increased WesAdmits activity, if you hated high school) has creeped up on you. Are you making lists of toiletries and getting boxes from Staples to pack your life into? Wondering how much action your soon-to-be bed has gotten in the past? A lot, probably.

But don’t be too frazzled. Before you finish your housing form, get your roommate(s) assignment, and make dorm Facebook groups that no one will check after October, Wesleying‘s here to answer your 40ish most pressing questions related to waking-up-and-instantly-having-200-or-so-of-your-peers-to-hang-out-with.

The pertinent FAQ doesn’t change much from year to year, so we tend to update/repost much of the original guide by Norse Goddess Holly-and-Xue ’08 (cuz it’s still damn good and we’re still damn lazy) every year. This re-vamped guide is up to date and full of Wesleyan lingo:

Wesleying Unofficial Orientation Series 2016: WELCOME

You won’t be ~sorry~ you chose Wes ;)

Sorry ft. MRoth'78

Dear preFrosh,

Every year as the summer draws to an end and the countdown to Wes begins, a new class of froshpeople fall into a frenzy. We know you’ve got questions:

“How do I live with a roommate? What do you mean there’s no AC? How many nights a week can I actually party without dying/going broke/failing all my classes? What’s a breakfast pail? How do I manage to see that one person I hooked up with the first night of orientation everywhere on such a small campus? Is it chill if I just walk into any bathroom when I have to pee?  How do you pronounce Usdan?”

It’s pronounced yous-dan. You’re welcome.

[LIVEBLOG] Commencement 2016

from the wesleyan photo tumblr, probably by Will Barr ’18

The time is here, the time is now: Wesleyan’s class of 2016 is graduating today! Over the course of the past weekend, the median age on Foss has gone up to something like 30, an old dude asked one of my friends where to find drugs, and everyone is hungover. The ceremony begins at 11am and features commencement speaker Bryan Stevenson. 

You can watch a livestream here, and read our liveblog after the jump:

Procrastination Destination: Tall, Dark, and Scary (But Mostly Tall)

scary forest

I am hyped up, off-campus, riding on the coattails of Friday the 13th… yet, somehow, I find myself typing on Wesleying just to guide you in procrastinating both finals and packing to gtfo campus. To help you in your quest for distraction, I leave you with the following top three most popular Alternate Reality Youtube Series following one of the creepiest, most obsessively followed myths of the internet – Slenderman. (Couldn’t you tell by the title?)

Procrastination Destination: Bar Mitzvah Throwback Tunes

I know this is a pretty big claim but throwback Bar Mitzvah-esque tunes might just be my favorite thing in all of cyberspace. For all of you who didn’t have the experience that is a Jewish coming of age ceremony, simply imagine a crowd of pre-pubescent tweens, shitfaced middle aged Jewish professionals, and your grandparents and all of their closest friends shaking their ~tuchus~ to these tunes. Sufficiently horrified? 

Anyway, I’ve curated a selection I feel sums up the vibe. Admittedly, I’ve been listening to these while studying all semester and they’re awesome. So awesome, in fact, that my non-Jewish friends now all want to be Bar Mitzvah-ed. Such is the power of the Bar Mitzvah tune.

Let’s start with a classic: the Hora. Except that this Hora is re-imagined as all the worst parts of music production circa 2007 rolled into one. Warning: you will find yourself singing this one. I’ve caught at least three of my friends listening to this while they study.

Procrastination Destination: Marble Sports

Finals have begun, you don’t know how much caffeine you’ve had but you’re permanently vaguely nauseous, all your wescam correspondence is happening between 2 and 5AM, and–for some reason–panic hasn’t set in yet. What better time, then, to watch videos of inanimate objects participating in “sport”? I somehow know the Kentucky Derby happened this weekend, and I imagine this is at least as exciting. Check below the jump for more things neither one of us should be spending our time on.

Procrastination Destination: Zardulu and the Rats of New York

zarduluAs a diligent citizen of the internet, I’ve spent a fair amount of time following strange and surreal stories to their murky origins. One that’s caught my fancy recently is Zardulu.

Who is Zardulu? No one really knows. In her twitter bio, she says:

“I am Zardulu. I am the Mythmaker. Myths are dreams we dream together and are not our greatest dreams the ones we believed were real?”

Intrigued? I was. Read on to find out more about the mysterious Zardulu.