Remember the time Leonardo DiCaprio died in the freezing ocean? Or maybe the time he entered a dream within a dream within a dream? Cool moments, right?
Wrong. Not compared to this. None of those Leo moments even come close to his best performance of all: the time he got attacked by a massive CGI grizzly bear for literally four minutes straight.
Imagine something that takes less time than four minutes. Now imagine a different thing (I’m sure that first thing will improve). It seriously blows my mind that the director chose to spend that much time on this scene. It is just an absurdly unnecessary amount of bear attack.
And it is such a strange scene because the bear attack happens three separate times. When you watch the video be sure to note the timestamp at which the bear attack should have ended. That’s right. It’s at ninety two seconds. There is an extra two and half minutes for the bear to come back and put in the work. And then it does. Twice!
It just adds nothing to the movie, and maybe that’s why I love it so much. It’s such an honest moment of BS spectacle that exists because they had the money and the actor capable of grunting so well. I’d like to think I’d create something similar with those resources.
So, yeah, watch the best four minutes in movie history after you inevitably get eliminated from tonight’s HQ because airwes lags and screws your chances at $1,500 divided evenly amongst 1,600 people.
2017. Sweden. Dir: Tarik Saleh. With Fares Fares. 106 min.
A young singer is murdered in one of Cairo’s big hotels just a few days before the January 25 revolution and National Police Day. This neo-noir thriller follows a surly cop assigned to the case as he dodges corruption in his department and realizes some of Moubarrak’s people might be implicated in the deadly a air.
1984. W.Germany/France. Dir: Wim Wenders. With Harry Dean Stanton, Hunter Carson. 145 min.
In this wonderfully heartfelt portrait of a broken family, the late Stanton had the role of a lifetime as an amnesiac returning home after years and trying to reconnect with his young son. “New” German filmmaker Wenders (Wings of Desire) lends an outsider’s sense of alienation to the Texan landscape.
1961. France. Dir: Agne?s Varda. With Corinne Marchand. 90 min.
Awaiting a possible cancer diagnosis, a self-absorbed pop singer spends ninety “real-time” minutes wandering the streets in between short-lived carefreeness and agitating despair. A peripatetic observation of postwar Paris, Varda’s Left Bank landmark explores feminism with a taste of light somberness. Look out for a surprise cameo by Jean-Luc Godard.
2004. USA. Dir: Jon Turteltaub. With Nicolas Cage. 131 min. 35mm print.
Code-breaking, treasure hunting, American history, and humor are the secret ingredients in this Wes-alum-directed action-adventure heist flick. In a ludicrous pursuit for Masonic loot, the patriotic Cage steals the Declaration of Independence and follows clues with the help of his quippy, tech-savvy sidekick and a fiercely intelligent archivist.
It’s staff application season again, y’all! If you’re interested in film production and supporting the creative endeavors of your fellow students, Cardinal Pictures staff is the group for you! As a staff member, you will oversee student productions, support and broaden the film community, and interact with some amazing artists. Students of all backgrounds and levels of experience are encouraged to apply (and you don’t have to be a film major, either). The deadline is December 1st to fill out this doc. And feel free to message the Cardinal Pictures Facebook page with any questions!
1990. USA. Dir: Jennie Livingston. With Dorian Corey. Documentary. 71 min.
This iconic celebration of queerness chronicles the underground Harlem ball culture of the late 80s, showcasing the vibrant personalities of its predominantly Black and Latinx participants. The historical aesthetics of drag and the minority origins of cultural concepts such as voguing and throwing shade are brought to light in potent critique of oppression.
2016. Spain. Dir: Pedro Almodovar. With Emma Suarez, Adriana Ugarte. 92 min.
The melodramatic auteur’s latest turn arrives with less flamboyance than usual but no less heartbreak. Chance, memory, trauma, and tragedy circle a tale spanning two timelines (and two lead actresses in the title role). Based off of Alice Munro’s short stories, Julieta explores the interiority of a woman reconciling her past and present in glorious detail.
1954. Japan. Dir: Akira Kurosawa. With Toshiro? Mifune. 207 min. 35mm print.
Kurosawa’s enduring classic depicts the methodical last stand of the masterless ronin hired to defend a village from a horde of robbers. The brisk, multifaceted narrative works a mix of tones, ranging from lighthearted gags to bitter cynicism to intense choreographed swordplay. Print courtesy of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences.
2017. USA. Dir: Malcolm D. Lee. With Regina Hall, Queen Latifah. 122 min.
A foursome of friends reconnect during a wild weekend at a music festival, filled with partying, hookups, and female empowerment. The first film with an all-black creative team to net over $100 million, GIRLS TRIP’s inspirational sisterhood and incisive commentary make it more than just another raunchy comedy.