Welcome to the second installment of Procrastination Destination, where Wesleying provides you #content to get you through finals!
At least once a day, we get a Google Alerts email in the staff inbox letting us know when Wesleyan is mentioned around the web. Lately, I’ve been collecting some of the more interesting links, but no one has gotten around to actually writing a full post about any of them. Instead of just sitting on this collection, I figured, what do millennials love more than a good listicle? So here we are!
Read below the jump for a collection of recent-ish alumni, student, professor, and Middletown news!
While at our penultimate* meeting of the semester, we were scrolling through our twitter tl looking for some ~cool content~ to retweet from our fellow students we came across THIS RIDONCULOUS TWEET:
As we tweeted: “what the fukc?????”
Other followers of his also responded to the tweet:
We don’t know how to end this post, so we’ll just leave you with the words of our fearless leader: “What do I do?”
Welcome to the first installment of Procrastination Destination, where Wesleying provides you #content to get you through finals!
Mariah Carey in December
Like any good Wesleyan student during finals season, I’ve got Mariah on my mind:
On the day after Thanksgiving, Mariah Carey awakens from her slumber. Her eyelids flutter open and she takes a big breath in, stretching her arms and cracking her back. She senses the slight change in the air, a little spring in her step, and sees in the mirror that she looks about five years younger. Christmas is upon us, she whispers with a grin.
College is hard. From adjusting to living away from your family for the first time to figuring out how to navigate academics to making friends, these 4-ish years of your life are full of new challenges.
I’ve always wanted to start an advice column. Now that I’m in my senior year, I’m taking advantage of my Wesleyan/life wisdom (also being managing editor of Wesleying and therefore being able to kinda do whatever I want) by starting a weekly advice column! Read on to learn more:
Welcome to Ask Wesleying! Each week I will answer questions from students just like you about anything having to do with anything and everything Wesleyan University: social life, academics, living on your own, roommates, hookup culture, extracurriculars, meal plans, and more!
In order for this to work, y’all have to send in some questions! Questions can be submitted anonymously via this form, or less-anonymously by emailing us at staff[at]wesleying[dot]org (put “Ask Wesleying” in the subject line)! All questions will be answered and posted anonymously, even if you email us including your name. Some weeks, I might reach out to other writers or my friends to guest-answer your questions!
This is fakeshark‘s update of wilk‘s update of michelle‘s update of kitab‘s update of alt‘s update of pyrotechnics‘ update of lesanjuan‘s update of Syed’s 2010 post.
Before we begin, here’s where you can find the welcome post (so that you can binge read from the beginning), and here’s where you can find last year’s edition of this post.
Hello, and welcome to the 8th annual edition of the Unofficial Orientation Series. In today’s episode, we’ll be discussing everything you need to know about the World Wide Web (and all things affiliated with it). Actually, we’ll be discussing everything you need to know about the Wes Wide Web. If you’ve reached this far, you’ve proved your competence in terms of navigating through some of Wesleyan’s digital landscape. But, my dear Prefrosh, there’s so much you have to learn. That’s where I come in – I’m going to teach you about the finer things in life, and all things in the WesTech multiverse.
So, in “holy shit, I am becoming ancient” news, the class of 2022 Regular Decision…decisions…were sent out on Saturday. This means that the frosh are slightly not frosh anymore-ish, and there will be an influx of doe-eyed prefrosh entering campus soon enough.
I took some time to meander over to the good ‘ol College Confidential, and it seems like there are some impressive SAT scores being accepted to Wesleyan. Not like they really matter.
Screams in social constructs and racism and classism of standardized testing. Here’s the WesAdmissions adorable welcome post in case you missed it:
With Valentine’s day just around the corner, you may be scouting for a last-minute date for the Bon Appetit Valentine’s dinner. In the tradition of crappy (read: great) meme Valentine’s Day e-cards, here are some Wesleyan-specific Valentine’s Day cards (complete with comic sans) for all of your Wesleyan-specific Valentine’s Day needs.
If you use any of these as pickup lines and they actually work for you (or if you fail miserably?), please let us know via the tipbox or by emailing us at staff[at]wesleying[dot]org.
We’re in a tough spot. Our age group has to deal with a melting planet, a thriving possum population, and a plethora of potential employers that expect us to know how to use Excel. That sucks for us sassy NESCAC kids. In spite of these obstacles, there is supposed to be a light in the dark, a city upon a hill, a beautiful beacon of hope: memes.
But, alas, Wesleyan’s meme culture is less than ideal. I would call it bad.
Editor’s note: The original post incorrectly identified the URL of the site as wesmaps.com. We apologize for the error and will fact-check our memes more thoroughly in the future.
Wisly Juganda ’20 tipped us off to wesportal.com, a wacky alternate universe version of WesMaps/WesPortal (are we in the upside-down???).
Featuring a tiled background of “If Michael Roth Was A Character From Harry Potter, He Would Be Dumbledore, Says Michael Roth,” the site is evocative of geocities. This seems like a fitting tribute to the 10 year anniversary of the inauguration of Michael Roth ’78 as Wesleyan’s President, which just so happens to be today.
You can add to the message board on the left side, which currently has posts like, “Can I access moodle from this” from guest and ‘i hate this’ from our very own michael roth.
In the center of the site, there’s the infamous bagel pb&j that haunted Soggy We$ Memes in a 3-post saga (courtesy of Oren Maximov ’17), complete with a poll to respond to the question of whether the bagel pb&j is indeed a sandwich.
At the bottom of the page there’s this gem (the button tragically doesn’t work, so you’re stuck with the points calculator):
There’s also a button saying, “Click here to go to the real Wesportal,” but, in an infuriating game of cat and mouse, it moves everytime you try to click on it.
We are extremely curious who did this, so if you have any leads, send them our way (staff[at]wesleying[dot]org)!