Hey! You! Over there, with the brand new Wesleyan University 2018 shirt on… You don’t have to sound like a freshman just because you are one…
Bad news: you’re gonna have to relearn the names of the buildings you spent the summer memorizing off the campus map.
Good news: Wesleying is here to help. We present to you: a comprehensive guide to faking it.
Almost every building on campus has acquired some kind of nickname over the past 100-and-something years that Wesleyan students have spent on the hallowed grounds of Middletown, CT. There are the chop-and-shorten nicknames, the Wes-suffix-words, a few almost-funny-jokes, and one very famous ass-pun… We’ve outlined (almost) all of them to help alleviate the gripping terror and confusion of your first few weeks at college.
As I contemplate my impending graduation in a matter of hours, I find myself wondering what Wes will be in the next semester and beyond. What should Wes be?
Wesleyan is not a perfect place, and only our Admissions brochures pretend that that’s the case. We’ve got problems, big problems. We’ve got deep, meaty, institutional problems. We’ve got acrid, calcifying, traditional problems. We’ve got murky, messy, cultural problems. For the moment I’ll let you define precisely what those are–the point is, Wes is not a perfect place. We all spend days here unhappy, frustrated, hurt. And by and large, we try to change that.
That’s a long, lonely road, but a good one.
Sometimes, you just need a good cry.* If your finals or impending graduation aren’t doing it for you (or, in my case, my delayed flight and consequent 5 hour day trip to Bradley yesterday…. thanks, Chicago), here is a collection of things to get your tear ducts working.
Finals are dumb. You know what isn’t? SPACE.
Thinking about the cosmos, the origins of life, and everything in between is the perfect way to procrastinate because you end up feeling smart and profound while what you’re actually doing is yelling, “duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude…” at the top of your lungs in Olin.
So, as we set off, watch this:
Still too hungover from Spring Fling to start that research paper that’s been lurking in the back of your mind all semester? Starting to lose your mind in pursuit of the elusive 2048 doge? Take some time to relax with this soothing yet mesmerizing game, Little Alchemy.
The premise of the game is simple: start with the four basic elements – earth, air, fire, and water – and combine them to eventually create all 460 possible elements. Just start clicking around, and pretty soon your brain will gear into the weird logic of this game. Drugs may help with this. “Yoda” is one of the possible elements. Click past the jump for screenshots from the depth of my obsession back in the fall of 2012, to inspire you to keep pushing on get that perfect 460. I will admit, it got a little crazy.
Dear everyone trying to study for finals,
Why are you doing this to yourself? Wouldn’t you much rather be watching funny cat videos or looking for summer dresses on Modcloth? Or maybe you want to check out these awesomely hilarious pronunciation guide youtube videos that will surely confuse any poor person trying to learn English (or French, in some cases). They are only 8 seconds long, so you don’t have to worry about wasting too much time away from your studying. Here are some of my favorites, but you can go see more at the youtube channel here.
Full disclosure: This Wesleying writer also happens to be one of the hosts of this event, so that’s that.
From Alex Cantrell ’14 and Katya Sapozhnina ’16:
After a semester dissecting what it means to be an entrepreneur and developing our entrepreneurial skills, the student forum “Out of Theory, Into Practice: Entrepreneurship Studies 101” invites you to come to our final class and pitch fest to see what we’ve been cooking up.
Students will present their ideas to a panel of judges and will receive feedback shark-tank style. Let them awe you with their creativity and ambition, and come take part in the growing entrepreneurial community here at Wesleyan.
We hope to see you there! There will be light snacks and delicious mate tea.
What: Entrepreneurship Studies 101 final pitch fest
Where: Allbritton 113
When: 7pm sharp
Some breaking news from aspiring student reporter Tim Tim ’16:
Earlier today, beginning at approximately 12:30pm, a multi-car traffic jam on the path between Albritton and Usdan left drivers and pedestrians alike stranded. While the sound of honking car horns and road rage fueled argumentation was easily audible from Foss Hill, the cause of the unusual jam remains unclear. Public Safety reportedly moved to open extra pedestrian lanes on College Row in order to ease traffic flow, but the office was unavailable for direct comment. One student bystander observed, “Man, these kids are going to be really late for brunch if this traffic doesn’t clear out soon!”
WSDR invites all members of the campus community to join us for this open meeting. What does WSDR do? How can you be involved in making this campus more accepting and accessible? What does ‘disability’ actually mean, anyway?All these questions and more will be answered. Additionally, we invite comments and suggestions from the community about what WSDR’s next projects might be, focusing on accessibility and attitudes towards disability at Wes and in the wider world.
Date: TODAY Thursday, May 1st
Place: Allbritton 113
It has come prematurely, folks. A wild Wescam has been spotted: a glorious Wesculture behemoth [or should we say Tentacruel? And on that note, who are you "Tentacruel 2014, female?!] feeding on crushes and shitting out awkwardness and the occasional night of sweaty nonsense.
At the time of this post, 2237 students are registered [that is one grandfucking majority of our student body], 18k+ crushes have been added, and 5722 matches have been made. I know you all have stories.