Category Archives: Random

What the Hummus: HOW TO MAKE HUMMUS!

A few weeks back, I wrote a feature ranting about Usdan’s hummus. The next day, I very sadly paired my sad Usdan salad with sad Usdan hummus, and it was not a highlight of my life.

I’m finally settled into my home for break, which means a few things: I have not left the house unless it’s for work or for IKEA, I have eaten approximately 567 loaves of bread, and I’ve spent a particularly significant amount of time in the kitchen.

“Making my family proud of my ability to take care of myself,” aside, my house is currently under construction and the kitchen is one of the only places where I can’t either fall through a ceiling or trip over some wood planks.

On the way home from IKEA, I force my mom to make a pit stop at the local halal market. Once home, my mom gave me her recipe, and I cross-checked with some Turkish recipe site for measurements, and I made a…beautiful…batch of hummus. Seriously, it’s really good. I posted a short recipe on Instagram, but I decided this recipe deserves a home on the blog because of my past writing on the subject. Here we go:

Food Review: What the Hummus?????????????

It’s been four semesters since I’ve had home-cooked Turkish (oh, wow, here’s Melisa talking about being Turkish….again) meal, and to be completely honest, at first it was great. There are only so many times I can manage to “enjoy” kale stew (side note: kale translates to “decoration cabbage” in Turkish) and I was infatuated with the copious amounts of coffee and soft-serve ice cream that I was honestly blind.

It’s been four semesters, and the coffee and soft-serve ice cream can no longer make me complacent. As Wesleyan’s local and very vocal Middle Easterner™, there’s a very serious matter that we need to discuss: the “hummus” that is offered at Usdan. It’s time to call it for what it is, and that certainly isn’t fucking hummus.

If you weren’t aware, Usdan offers hummus on the kosher line, oftentimes paired with some sort of panini. See, I was super fucking excited when I saw this, because I didn’t grow up with ranch or cranberry vinaigrette (?), and I wanted to supplement my bland salads with the spread that is responsible for my sanity. And so, wide-eyed first-year me walks onto the kosher line, excited to get a taste of home. Why I thought that this hummus would remotely resemble home considering the general lack of spices in Usdan (seriously, WHY DON’T WE HAVE RED PEPPER FLAKES ANYWHERE? And don’t tell me about that bullshit red pepper that’s by the pizza) is beyond me. I was hopeful that perhaps Bon App got things right for once.

Oh, was I wrong.

Here are some general notes about the hummus that I have succumbed to time and time again at Usdan, in which each time I have considered just transferring to any school in Turkey based exclusively on food:

Very Wesleyan Valentine’s Cards

With Valentine’s day just around the corner, you may be scouting for a last-minute date for the Bon Appetit Valentine’s dinner. In the tradition of crappy (read: great) meme Valentine’s Day e-cards, here are some Wesleyan-specific Valentine’s Day cards (complete with comic sans) for all of your Wesleyan-specific Valentine’s Day needs.

If you use any of these as pickup lines and they actually work for you (or if you fail miserably?), please let us know via the tipbox or by emailing us at staff[at]wesleying[dot]org.

Procrastination Destination: Wikipedia Racing

We’re almost at finals week, which means it’s time for Wesleying’s biannual Procrastination Destination feature. If you’re like me, you’re probably wondering why you haven’t started studying yet. You should probably start studying… But if you need a good study break, you might as well procrastinate while learning new things.

So on that note, let me introduce you to Wikipedia Racing!

There are two forms of the game that you can play. The first version of the game is something that you play with your friends. The rules are simple:

  1. Choose an article to start on, and an article to end on. (For example, start on Justin Bieber, end on candy canes)
  2. You have to get from the first article to the destination article by only clicking on links within the wikipedia articles.
  3. First person to get to the ending article wins!
  4. For an extra challenge, you can add rules like no using the back button, or you can’t click through the United States (hot wikipedia racing tip, you can get to almost anything from the United States Wikipedia article). You can also change the rules and say that the person who finds the shortest path to the destination article wins, regardless of how long it takes. You can really add any rules you want to, it’s a very flexible game.

Using the example I gave before (Justin Bieber to candy canes), here is a demonstration of how Wikipedia racing works.

Justin Bieber –> Under the Mistletoe –> Christmas Music –> Christmas –> Candy Canes

That was a pretty easy example, but you can do some really weird ones, like Limes to the Treaty of Versailles, or Las Meninas to Wesleyan University. Maybe you can trick yourself into feeling like you are studying by choosing topics for the start/end articles that are related to your work. If you are having trouble thinking of articles, try the random Wikipedia article generator.

As for the other version of Wikipedia Racing, maybe you want to procrastinate alone in the library, or you don’t want your friends to see you avoiding your work. Fear not! There is also an antisocial version of Wikipedia Racing that you can play online. The online version of the game decides the start and end articles for you (you can’t even pretend like you are studying), but it is still a great way to avoid your work.

Usdan Jams: Pastability by Lorde

It was late for a Usdan night, approaching the 7:30 mark. The only people left getting dinner were the night owls, squinting in the bright Marketplace lights. It is at this time of night that Usdan becomes very simple; gone are the lines that make cheesesteak night or Pastabilites so urgent and the air has taken on a new tone. As the first blue notes of Lorde’s “Liability” flowed through my earbuds, it was matched with another sound:

“Go ahead!”

I looked up, and something clicked. How had I not seen it before? The signs were all too obvious. It had been hidden in plain sight. Somehow, somewhere, Lorde’s healing anthem was connected to Wesleyan’s own Pastabilities. And, since Pastabilities is Tom the Pastabilities Guy, somehow he and Lorde are connected.

“Go ahead!” I hadn’t realized it was my turn. I was too busy staring into Tom’s eyes, trying to figure out when/how he had hurt Lorde, or perhaps vice-versa. After apologizing profusely and getting my alfredo with white (sauce first, I wasn’t that distracted), I ate with haste and went back to my dorm to do my research, window shades down, glasses on.

Original Content Makers Must Seize the Memes of Production

We’re in a tough spot. Our age group has to deal with a melting planet, a thriving possum population, and a plethora of potential employers that expect us to know how to use Excel. That sucks for us sassy NESCAC kids. In spite of these obstacles, there is supposed to be a light in the dark, a city upon a hill, a beautiful beacon of hope: memes.

But, alas, Wesleyan’s meme culture is less than ideal. I would call it bad.

Write In: Kids That Look Like Their Parents

It’s Family Weekend, and there are a ton of parents on campus. Have people mistaken you and your parent for siblings? Have you spotted a parent and child that look identical?

We want pictures! Email us  (staff[at]wesleying[dot]org) your Family Weekend pictures of identical parent/child pairs with the subject “Parent Write In” and your name and class year in the body (as well as the name and class year of the people in the picture), and we’ll feature you guys on Wesleying!

WesPortal Dot Com is a Magical Meme Wonderland

Editor’s note: The original post incorrectly identified the URL of the site as wesmaps.com. We apologize for the error and will fact-check our memes more thoroughly in the future.

Wisly Juganda ’20 tipped us off to wesportal.com, a wacky alternate universe version of WesMaps/WesPortal (are we in the upside-down???).

Featuring a tiled background of “If Michael Roth Was A Character From Harry Potter, He Would Be Dumbledore, Says Michael Roth,” the site is evocative of geocities. This seems like a fitting tribute to the 10 year anniversary of the inauguration of Michael Roth ’78 as Wesleyan’s President, which just so happens to be today.

You can add to the message board on the left side, which currently has posts like, “Can I access moodle from this” from guest and ‘i hate this’ from our very own michael roth.

In the center of the site, there’s the infamous bagel pb&j that haunted Soggy We$ Memes in a 3-post saga (courtesy of Oren Maximov ’17), complete with a poll to respond to the question of whether the bagel pb&j is indeed a sandwich.

At the bottom of the page there’s this gem (the button tragically doesn’t work, so you’re stuck with the points calculator):

There’s also a button saying, “Click here to go to the real Wesportal,” but, in an infuriating game of cat and mouse, it moves everytime you try to click on it.

We are extremely curious who did this, so if you have any leads, send them our way (staff[at]wesleying[dot]org)!

Halloween Costume Round Up 2017!

“For your viewing pleasure”
Ed Thorndike ’89 of WesWings

Alright, ya’ll. It’s the day that we all look forward to. It’s the end of Spooptober, the start of Christmas, because we can’t capitalize off of Thanksgiving, unless it’s Black Friday.

It’s Halloween. And did ya’ll impress. We asked (yesterday) for your costumes, and I think my eyes are still burning I’m very impressed by the creativity of the student body.

Check out the costumes after the jump!