This is something you’ve always wanted to know, right? Right? Enlightenment under the cut.
Category Archives: General
Valentines Day Public Health Update
To the Wesleyan community,
Greetings. Today I write to commend you on your solitude (so far, read on) on this day usually reserved for displays of affection, even love. That being said, the administration understands the toll the suppression of sexuality takes on the developing mind and has been hard at work with local and state officials to reach a compromise on your behalf.
Increased COVID Cases and the Reslife Hazard Pay Petition: What you Need to Know
COVID cases in Connecticut
Following an increase in COVID cases, several Residential Life student employees are petitioning for hazard pay. Here’s what you need to know:
Charles Ives’s Music is my #QuarantineVibe
The most interesting man in…Connecticut.
A man locks himself away in a New England cottage and spends all his spare time doing creative sh*t: is it a sad Wes boi during quarantine? No! It’s LeGEndArY American composer Charles Ives.
Who’s Charles Ives, you ask?
Allow me to perform the initiation.
HALLOWEEN COSTUME SUBMISSION 2020!!!
Duh
How is it that Spooky Season is upon us??? Wasn’t it just April????
Just like every fucking other thing in our lives, Halloween is going to look a bit different this year. Gone is the opportunity to wear lingerie and call it a costume while walking around in sub-thirty degree weather, and chasing a shot down with fun sized candy bars loses a bit of its luster when you can only do it alone in your dorm.
Wesleying to the rescue! As we have in years past, we’re giving you the opportunity to showcase your Halloween lewks! Submit a picture of your costume here, and then we’ll feature you in a post later in the week. Bonus points if your costume is… topical to the current situation, or if you find a clever way to incorporate your mask. Socially distant/COVID-podded costumes also welcome!
Heartbreak at Red and Black Cafe
I don’t just like Red & Black Cafe. I love it. (If I don’t love it, I don’t swallow.) Not only does R&B have smoothies, but it’s the only place on the whole goddamn campus where I can order breakfast before 11:00 a.m.
But R&B has made A Change that causes me unimaginable pain. My head steams like a freshly-pressed Tomato Panino. And my heart feels like a tomato in said panino, suffocating within a prison of bread and delicious melted cheese.
Hot Take: New England Fall Actually Sucks
When I first told people that I had decided on Wesleyan (and then explained to them what/where Wesleyan is, I swear to god, nobody has ever heard of this school), they would say “Oh wow, fall is going to be so beautiful up there! You’re so lucky!” I entered my freshman year with a fervent anticipation of the legendary New England Autumn. I allowed myself to get swept up in the hype and the beautiful foliage. But now, in my junior year, I’m at home for the semester, and I can say definitively that New England fall actually SUCKS.
2020 Mood Board: Babs Tries to Cheer You up
Sometimes life is just garbage.
Here are three pieces of media that brought me joy during the first 263 days of this dumb, hellish, seemingly decade-long year.
Just postin’ ’em here in the hope that you find similar contentment (and maybe catharsis?) during the remaining hundred three days. <3
Ranking Green Fictional Characters According to Their Relevance in My Life
1. Shrek – (obviously)
2. Mike Wazowski
3. The Geico Gecko – (Save 15% or more on car insurance?)
4. Gamora from Guardians of the Galaxy
5. Disgust from Inside Out – (quiet literally a mood)
6. Larry the Cucumber from Veggie Tales – For your viewing pleasure
7. Oscar the Grouch – “You’d be a grouch, too, if you lived in a trash can!”
8. The aliens from Toy Story that say “the clawwwww”
9. The Hulk (not bruce banner) – Spoiler alert his secret is that he’s always angry
10. The Green M&M – iykyk
11. Wicked Witch of the West/Elphaba
12. Kermit the Frog – Brings light to the difficulties of being green in this economy
12. Rex from Toy Story – “I don’t like confrontations!”
14. The Grinch
15. Yoda – “There is no try”
16. Flubber
17. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – I honestly dk
18. Toad from Frog and Toad
19. The Green Care Bear
20. The Green Giant
21. Gumby
Black Squirrels: A Scientific Perspective
We’ve all seen them. We’ve all talked about them. We’ve even written about them. Wesleyan’s black squirrel population is a source of pride, fear, and gossip for the student body. Despite their fame, we have never known the true origin story of the black squirrel. Until now. Just last year, a team of scientists from the UK and America published their study on the biological source behind this unique coloration. I’ve compiled all the important information below the cut, but I’ll give you a sneak peek here: it’s because these squirrels fuck.