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He looks so happy here! Like he’s a boy at his seventh birthday party and his parents have just gifted him $700 worth of Fortnite V-Bucks. It recently came to my attention that we, as Wesleyan students, have been criminally underselling Michael Roth’s Wikipedia page . Created in 2007, this treasure trove of Michael Roth knowledge is practically begging to be explored. Let’s dive in! Almost immediately upon navigating to the page, several fascinating tidbits emerge. Aside from his infamous book Safe Enough Spaces , Michael has edited several volumes on Freudian philosophy . (This will be important later!) The article also mentions that Michael makes $1.3 million a year. 1.3 MILLION DOLLARS! Just think of all the students you could send to Wesleyan with that money! It’s got to be at least thirty, right? No… twenty? Fifteen? :( Well. Anyway. Most notably, the article’s table of contents reveals a startling discrepancy: Waiter! More controversies, please! Michael is not without his fair share of “controversies.” In a break with typical Wikipedia etiquette, these various controversies are listed out of order. A Wesleyan student viewing this list will also notice that it has not been updated in quite some time . However, it does give us quite a bit to work with. Unwillingness to divert more funds to underrepresented academic departments, poor handling of cases related to sexual assault, tensions surrounding workers’ unions… clearly, Michael was born to be a college president!  In 2008, Michael found himself in a hotbed of controversy following his campaign against Zonker Harris Day. During this Wesleyan holiday, named after a marijuana-loving character from Garry Trudeau’s Doonesbury comics , students would attend a festival featuring art and musical performances. They would also smoke weed on Foss Hill. Michael did NOT like this. He demanded that the name of the festival be changed, stating, “The institution should make it clear that it’s not supporting things that are stupid.” In response, students fought to continue the tradition, renaming it “Ze Who Must Not Be Named Day.” Thanks to their brave efforts, the festival was reinstated in 2011. Garry Trudeau’s response to Michael’s actions. The article also mentions Michael’s use of physical force against others in the fall of 2012, when students were protesting the end of need-blind admission. At one point, when confronted by a reporter, Michael grabbed their microphone and pushed his forehead into their camera lens . In another instance, he saw students chalking the sidewalks of Wyllys Ave: a perfectly legal form of protest, since Wyllys is a public street. Michael did NOT like this. He grabbed a student by the arm and towed them onto campus property to be questioned by a PSafe officer. The article states, “Many found this to be an unnecessary and controversial action by Roth.” “You got games on your phone?” In 2020, Michael faced pushback following the school’s implementation of Workforce Time, a system for tracking employee hours. Uncomfortable with the fact that Workforce tracks employees’ locations as they work, students and staff circulated a petition calling for the use of a different system. Michael did NOT like this. He stated, “I’ve seen the petition, but it says things like ‘Roth wants to know where custodians piss and shit.’ Although that’s an interesting idea, as a Freudian , it’s just misinformation.” We did NOT need to know that you think piss and shit are “interesting,” Michael! Keep that to yourself next time. The controversies surrounding Michael Roth’s Wikipedia page are not limited to the article itself: the article’s Talk page , while now peaceful, was once a battleground for forces of good and evil. As they worked tirelessly to update Michael’s page, the heroic user Nomoskedasticity was thwarted by the villainous user 74.88.196.81. Their exchange offers an illuminating look into the inner workings of Wikipedian bureaucracy. 74.88.196.81 took issue with Nomoskedasticity’s citation of the Wesleyan Argus  when discussing Zonker Harris Day. “The biased referenced matter… asserts without any proof that the day in question is ‘inspiring University participants to emulate Zonker Harris's drug habits,’” they contended. “What habits are those and if this conduct can be defined, which (and how many) students are being inspired by Zonker or are engaging in what he engages in?”  A (very) brief sample of the heated exchange between Nomoskedasticity and 74.88.196.81. Nomoskedasticity responded by politely reminding 74.88.196.81 of Wikipedia’s policies regarding verifiability , under which the Argus would be considered a reliable source. 74.88.196.81 was furious. “This is absurd,” they sputtered, before churning out a 500-word essay that bashed Nomoskedasticity’s editing skills. Nomoskedasticity once again responded calmly, which further enraged their dastardly foe: another vitriolic essay was produced, this time 10 paragraphs long and with cited sources. Eventually, 74.88.196.81 was IP banned for “disruptive editing.” It seems that Wikipedia wasn’t a safe enough space for them. Thus concludes our deep dive into Michael “M-Dawg” Roth’s Wikipedia page. But don’t despair: this is, after all, only the tip of Wesleyan’s digital iceberg. Stay tuned for further internet exploration.

This is a part of our ThesisCrazy Series. You can sign up here for a short 10 min interview! Interviews by Zoomy Sofia Rinaldi ‘25 (she/her), Astronomy and Physics Major, Thesis in Astronomy, no carrel  Working Title:  "This Gal is on Fire: Understanding the Kinematic and Morphological Evolution of Early Galaxies Using Simulations." “The capitalization is important. This Gal is on Fire, because gal for galaxy and then fire is the name of the simulations I use.” On her topic: “The James Webb Space telescope observes galaxies that are super distant in the very early universe that have these really weird shapes. And because they're so distant, it's hard for us to get data about what's really what's going on with the physics of those galaxies. So my project uses galaxy simulations of early universe galaxies to kind of study the evolution of the galaxy's physics and shape and see if and how those things correlate. We know that they correlate in the local universe, so it's to see, you know, to better contextualize and explain what's going on with those weird observations by James Webb.”  On how she thought of her topic: “I started working on the project two years ago with my advisor. I was interested in working with her and it was originally just one of the couple of projects that she mentioned to me that I could pursue. It was like the most physics-based analysis.” On her progress: “I'd say I’m like 90% of the way there...I need to write my conclusion, but my conclusion is gonna be like two or three pages. But I need to make a bunch of images, because I use this like specific code to make images of the galaxy in different components of the galaxies at different times, and I need to do all of that.” On her current mental state:  “If I finish my edits by the end of the day, then it will be fine. I'm fully planning on staying up most of the night on Wednesday to finish.” On her most upsetting thesis experience:  “I took a class last semester that was the most work I’d ever had in college, so I could not make almost any progress on my thesis last semester. Now, it was fine because I had done two years worth of research, like writing all the code, making the initial observations, and the initial calculations. But it meant that I couldn't get into the bulk of my writing until this semester. So I didn't really start writing-writing until like spring break… it's been a real crunch.” On her favorite form of procrastination: “Searching for apartments and applying for jobs. Honestly, it's exciting though, because I want to move to New York." On her plans for after she hands her thesis in:  “Oh my god. I'm probably gonna take a nap during the day, and my goal is to turn it in in the morning. So I’ll go to class, and take a nap, do the champagne pop, and then my friends and I who wrote theses are going to go out to dinner for a celebration, then I have a cappella, and then bar night it up." On her favorite part of her thesis: “I haven't made them yet, but probably my pretty pictures. If I were to spend a long time explaining this to you, this would be like the easiest thing to grasp, so it's what makes my project most accessible to most people.”  If her thesis was a song/movie/TV show: “Friends, because that's a show that I've rewatched a bunch of times, and it's very much been in my life for a long time, but it also gets boring because I've seen it so many times. And like the fact of the matter is as much as I love this, it's like I've worked on it for so long, now, it's like it's an oldie but goodie, but sometimes I need a change.” On her most used word/phrase: “Maybe galaxies. If I were to say a science word, it would be kinematics and morphology, because that's what the topic is. But because I'm a terrible writer, it's probably ‘thus’. I use the word I thus way too much."  Any questions she’d wished we’d asked: “I think the only other thing I'd say is that the entire time I've been working on it and/or not working on it last semester I kind of had this anticipation of “it's just gonna get written…I’m at like 10 or 15 pages and I'm just gonna blink and it's gonna get written.” And that kind of did happen, like I kind of mostly got written within the last month or two. And now we're at about 70 pages, it'll be up to maybe 80 if we’re lucky. So that grind, it just kicks in, and just and we made it where we did and we made it work.” Theses feces:  “Regular. No anxious poops... I will say I've had anxious nausea. I've just been, like, in bed, absolutely nauseated and stressed. So that's fun.” Isadora Goldman Leviton ‘25 (she/her), Education and American Studies Major, no carrell (but a desk in the Education Studies house)  Working Title : “'Hope Happens All the Time!' Educator Joy as a Means of Sustainment in Hartford and West Hartford."  On her topic: "I did 11 long-form narrative interviews with eighth grade teachers in Hartford and West Hartford. I wanted to understand how they define just and sustainable futures for themselves and for their students. I was sort of using statistical data around educational apartheid to understand those things. So I looked at what sustainability means for a teacher's career, but also what it means for a student's future and what it means amidst environmental disaster and things like that, especially because environmental racism is significantly more prevalent in Hartford. So there's a lot of intersecting things."  On how she thought of this topic: "I knew that I wanted to do something in education and I have a background in environmental sustainability work, so I think it was the intersection of those things. I wanted to work with teacher because don't know the next time I'll get to like sit down and learn from other educators like that. So it was kind of a selfish choice. I chose Hartford and West Hartford because Wesleyan has a tendency to have very complex relationships with the communities that we are a part of, and it felt like I wanted to do due diligence to those teachers and people." On her progress: " It's done, bitch."  On her current mental state: "I don't think I feel relieved yet. I’m hoping I get to that point. I think until tomorrow when everyone feels like they are collectively taking a sigh of relief, maybe it'll feel more real. I'm bad at sitting still, so we'll see how this goes." On her most upsetting thesis experience: "To be honest I think the work that I'm doing is really devastating, and I often would sit there and read stories for hundreds and hundreds of hours about the most disturbing and deeply saddening findings about literacy rates and about how teachers were moving through this world and what neoliberalism has done to teachers and the teacher workforce. There were stories of 17 teachers in one school being on food stamps. It was a very humbling experience to sit in that all the time and to be with that kind of data." On her favorite form of procrastination: " My ASHA work." On her plans for April 17th: "I'm just I'm gonna dance night away in sparkles. That's the truth. I have my sparkly shirt upstairs already." On her advice for future thesis writers: "The way to move through this is to be so in love with your work that there isn't a second question that you're doing the right thing. I live and breathe, think, sleep, and pee this work. I don't think about anything else the way that I think about this, and if I had one bad day where I was not obsessed with this work, I would have just quit. Find something that you love that much or it's not worth it." On her favorite part of your thesis: "I worked really hard to make it accessible. I wanted people to be able to read it and relate to it and hear it. It's not gonna be silo and that I worked really hard for that to be the case." If her thesis was a song or movie or a TV show : "The thing that got me through it was a playlist that I have. It's called “You and me and the universe that's holding us.” The two songs most important to me are “Making it Through” by Angie McMahon or “Light of a Clear Blue Morning” by Waxahachi." On her most word/phrase: "Um, well, like “it" or “this”, but I would say some version of the word sustained, so sustainment, sustainability, or to be sustained. I'd say that's probably in every other sentence in the entire thesis." Theses Feces: "I'm gonna answer this politically. I've been very stressed, okay?"

This is a part of our ThesisCrazy  Series. You can sign up here  for a short 10 min interview! Interviews by Zoomy Cate Goodwin Pierce ’25  (she/they), Psychology & FGSS double major, African-American Studies minor, thesis in FGSS, carrel #453 Working Title:  “ Riveted: A Gendered and Anti-imperialist Analysis of America’s Obsession with Denim ” On her topic: “ I looked at denim throughout US history with an intimate methodology. So that meant de-centering Lees, Levis, Wranglers, all the big companies and how they worked and advertised, as well as market trends or sales or that kind of thing. I was talking about real people, real interpretations of individual feelings with denim. I framed my thesis around this YSL quote where he was like, ’I wish I had invented blue jeans, they have simplicity, modesty, self-expression, and sex appeal.’ But he’s like such a high-fashion-world business mind that my four chapters were kind of like a challenge to him of what a more intimate research of denim and blue jeans would be. My chapters were endurance, nostalgia, resistance, and transgression. I talked about everything from coal miners and the indigo interaction with denim and the rivets, to cowboys and cowgirls and how they kind of wrestle with American masculinity, to denim’s usage in social movements, like SNCC and the anti–Vietnam War movement, and then finally to transgression, which was about queer interpretations and assumptions of denim to express or pass in their sexuality.” On how she thought of her topic: “ I’ve been kind of obsessed with material history for a while. Sophomore year I took a class with Professor Kaisha Esty, which was about an intimate historical methodology. So I kind of wanted to tie those things together. I drew a lot from Saidiya Hartman. I didn’t really do critical fabulation but I use so many pictures. I think I had like 80 images in my thesis. I feel like  having pictures really brought it to life and played with form in a way. It’s hard to talk about something so visual without having pictures, and I really wanted to kind of spark people’s interests and curiosity with those images.” On their current mental state:  “ Now that it’s done, it’s kind of twofold. On one hand, I feel very proud of myself. But also, I was working on this for 20 months, and so now it’s like, 'what do I think about now that I’m not thinking about denim all the time? What do I fill my time with?' I’m very bad at being just chill and rotting, which I’m trying to get better at. I think that part of me made writing a thesis so much more enjoyable, and now that it’s over, I’m like, wow, what do I do?” On her most upsetting thesis experience:  “ There were definitely some sections that were really kind of emotionally hard to write. My third chapter was all about resistance movements and that all starts from like college students wearing denim, which then exploded out into much larger nationwide protest movements. Reading about the repression campaigns, the physical and mental stress and harm that universities caused their students in the 60s in the 70s, I felt like I know what these narratives are talking about quite personally. Even reading stats, the higher faculty support of a student protest, the safer the students are. So like, the highest faculty support for anti-Vietnam was at Berkeley and they had these huge wins. and the least amount of faculty support was at Kent State, which is where four students ended up dying because National Guardsmen shot into a crowd of protesters. And so thinking about that, thinking about FJP now and SJP, it was really like, 'whoa, okay, this is really applicable and really, really personal.' And that was just exhausting, honestly. But also at one point, my advisor was encouraging me to drop this to a senior essay and I really had to sit him down and was like, 'I am writing a thesis, and I’m writing a good-ass thesis, and you are gonna help me.' Because I was playing with form in a way where he was like, it’s cool, it’s good, but like, it’s just not a thesis, and I was like, 'well, it’s gonna be a thesis now, because I am writing a thesis.' I love my advisor, but there were some moments where I really had to be my own cheerleader.” On her favorite form of procrastination: “ There’s a TV show called The Traitors, which is so good. I watched a season in probably three days. I love it so much. But honestly, I am so type A, like ridiculously type A, and I set so many like incremental deadlines for myself that other than my daily rot on Instagram reels, I feel like my brain is just kind of set up for these kinds of projects. There was just never really a time that I was like, I’m just not gonna do this. I still love my topic and that just never dwindled. I feel very, very lucky to have found something that I care so much about.” On what she did after she handed her thesis in:  “ I submitted on that Wednesday, so I submitted on the 16th, and so on the 17th, I went to Miller’s. I started drinking at about 3:30pm, and then went to Macbeth absolutely wasted, and then went to Bar Night and just kept on drinking and partying until about 2am. Little known story, the champagne pop was probably one of the most stressful parts. Popping that fucking cork is a lot harder than you think. And so I had a cider before to socially lubricate myself to get ready for it.” Advice for future thesis writers: “I think what really worked for me was having those incremental deadlines, and also getting ahead on your research. I visited Levi’s headquarters during the summer of 2024, and that was kind of my initial push into my research. But then, I really spaced it out so that I had deadlines to hold myself to, and also, celebrating the little stuff was so important for me to get it done. So I would finish chapter two outline and I would take the afternoon off to celebrate that, or at the end of chapter, like writing chapter three, I would celebrate that. So, like, really breaking it up so that you have smaller goals to tackle and also have more opportunity to celebrate and feel really proud of yourself. I also think if you do not have a topic that is so exciting and thrilling and just everything to you, it’s not worth it. It just is not worth it. It’s too time consuming and stressful of a process to do something that you are not so passionate about and eager to read about and think about every single day. And if that’s not you, hey, no judgment, but it is just not worth it.” On her favorite part of her thesis: “ I really loved chapter two, which is all about nostalgia, because I end up talking about dude ranches and how they became this kind of cultural fortress for the US, and dispensing Americanism throughout the West after the military had left. But honestly, I think my favorite part of my thesis is like, telling other people what I’m writing about and everyone  having an anecdote. Everyone  has something to say about denim or jeans, and so my thesis as a way to connect with people outside of the actual text is my favorite part of it.” If their thesis was a song/movie/TV show: “ If it was a song, ‘Levii’s Jeans’ by Beyoncé. Okay, I talk about a couple of movies in my thesis. So I’m thinking City Slickers , maybe Back to the Future . I mean, all of those just have jeans in them. Maybe Back to the Future , because in every single time  that is in Back to the Future I , II , and III , they’re all wearing jeans, if they’re in the 1850s or 2015. And I think that encapsulates it pretty well.” On her most used word/phrase: “ I mean, denim, maybe like—oh God, I say physical manifestation probably 10,000 times.” Theses feces:  “ Wow. Honestly, they’ve been a lot more regular, which I’m loving.” Georgia Reed-Stamm '25 (any pronouns) , Film and Latin American Studies double major, thesis in film. Title: You First.  On their topic: "Long time friends confront newfound desires after their first day of sophomore year of high school. So it's two best friends, and one of them has just transferred to a Catholic school. They've never not gone to school together, and so they're like meeting up after school and just kind of meandering around their small town. One of them is an artist, which is kind of important to the plot, and eventually a breach of trust kind of forces them to confront some feelings of desire. So overall it's a queer coming of age romance." On how they thought of their topic: "Well, so originally I was kind of pitching it as the pretty universal queer experience of being in love with your best friend in high school. Obviously not every queer person experiences it, but I've talked to a lot of people about it and everyone has their version of that story. It usually ends badly. So the idea for the film was kind of taking that experience and sort of reimagining it in like a “what if it went kind of right” way. But definitely not without all the teenage awkwardness and angst and all of that stuff. It’s still real, just a somewhat reimagined version of that experience." On their mental state: "I'm feeling good. Especially with it being a film, I feel like I'm at a point where you know, when you look at a word for long enough or you say it over and over again and it's just like, those are just sort of syllables and not a word. That's how I feel about it. At this point, it's like sounds and images. I was like showing it to someone recently and they laughed at a joke and I was like, “oh, right, this is like a story with words and jokes.” I've watched it so many times I feel I’ve lost any objectivity. I'm excited for other people to see it because I feel like I'll be reminded that it's actually like a film." On their most upsetting experience: "My lead actor dropped out a week before we shot. I had a break down for like a few hours and then I was just like, all right, no time to waste. If it was any less time it would have been impossible, and if it was any more time, I might have not been so down to business about it. I just really locked in and found a new actor as quickly as I could and she's a fantastic and wonderful person. A couple weeks ago I also had sound issues that I thought would ruin everything. And ultimately it doesn't, but it's hard to not feel like that."   On their favorite form of procrastination : "I mean, I'm very talented at procrastinating in general. Definitely all the natural YouTube ways to procrastinate, but I feel like with this project in general  I had a lot of fun chatting with people, like Saskia, my DP. There were definitely a few moments where we were just having so much fun chatting and it was my assistant director’s job to be like, okay, guys, we’ve got to get back to work." On what they did after turning it in: "The next day I just was so lazy. I just stayed in bed and listened to the Harry Potter audiobook and ate junk food. Also it's like I've been doing those things honestly anyway throughout the process, but with so much guilt attached. So it was really nice to get to do it and not have to feel guilty." On their advice for future thesis writers/filmers: "I think that with art, it's obviously hard to not be defensive, but I also feel like the more people you show the scripts too, or like the cuts of the movie during the second semester and like the more you pitch as like, 'my feelings are not gonna be hurt, just please tell me like what could be better,' then the better it's going to be. I think that sometimes Wesleyan film students are conceited and coddled and they don't want to hear that, which is fair, but I don't think you should be doing this work then." If their thesis was a song: "I mean, I think during the summer when I was writing it, the songs that I listened to the most and thought about were Good Luck Babe by Chappell Roan and Be Sweet by Japanese Breakfast."   Theses feces: "Lately pretty good. Honestly probably better since theses were done because I’m eating better and sleeping more. I’m on the up."  You can watch Georgia's film this weekend at the theses showings!

The blaze of passion in which Donald Trump, Elon Musk, and JD Vance die can be seen from the International Space Station. Approximately 7 billion people cheer as the footage is livestreamed. TRUMP (cut short as he perishes) Noooooo I'm being cut off like at the last deba- SPACE Cut to a chase scene in a movie theater. Spectators are watching intently as the Tesla cybertruck on the screen blows up, with a single mother and her five children inside. SPECTATOR ONE I fucking knew it would happen as soon as they stepped into the car! SPECTATOR TWO Hush, bitch! I just got an alert on my phone that says three guys died in space! The spectators are Matt Walsh and that one twink Ben Shapiro. MATT Wait a second... those were not just any guys. They were the saviors of the world! What will we ever do without them? Matt whimpers like a puppy, wanting to lick Elon's flabby little belly button at least one last time. BEN I need to tell my modest and sexy sis-- I mean, modest and sexy wifey! Ben looks around to make sure the slip up wasn't heard. His life as a self-hating, closeted Brony at the Daily Wire was hard enough, but if those goddamn dems decided to enter this movie theater, he would be outed as an incestuous man as well. MATT (sniffling and wiping tears from his eyes) He was so strong. He got shot in the head but survived. He was my hero. He was my dad. BEN Your dad? What do you mean, Matt Walsh? Ben brings up a microphone from his pocket. He realizes he was live, and all right-wing America probably heard his slip-up. MATT I've never been this open in my life except for when I was test-driving the Tesla Urethral Sounding Rod (trademarked by Tesla and my one and only lover Elon Musk), but I will admit that I am a bastard. BEN You don't say? He smirks and licks his non-existent lips at Matt. There is some kind of tension in the otherwise-empty theater. MATT (blushing) No! Not bastard like that. Although I never give pregnant women a seat on the bus because I think women are second-class citizens and deserve to be pregnant just like my late fascist-X-lover and y late-father and his late-concubine Vance. Ben raises an eyebrow. It keeps raising. It doesn't stop raising. The eyebrow flies off of his face and hits the ceiling. BEN They've been dead for... two minutes. You don't have to describe them as late. MATT Yes, well, anyway. Trump is my father. Melania got him pregnant a while ago. But even before Melania, there was another woman. This woman impregnated him, so he gave birth to me and tried to flush me down a toilet. He was ashamed of his whorish ways. When I was five years old, he tried to hang me with a telephone wire. This is why the Daily Wire means so much to me. Every day, I feel blessed. I feel blessed that I did not succumb to the daily strangling I endured. I feel blessed that I can experience urethral sounding every day. I feel blessed my beard is as thick as my pubes. BEN (tearing up) I know I'm not supposed to feel emotions because of the slogan "facts not feelings," but God damn it am I feeling something. I'm crying so much I could fill up the Gulf of America. I want to say that I feel blessed as well. I'm blessed to be a Brony and have sensual experiences with my modest sister Abby. I'm blessed to be a straight man who is attracted to barely anthropomorphic ponies. I'm blessed to not have pronouns. I am so blessed! TRUMP (walks in) Hey, son. Wanna hang out? MATT (with his life flashing before his eyes) Dad... hang...on... AHHHHHH. Matt Walsh runs away and jumps through the brick wall of the theater, leaving a cartoonish Matt Walsh-shaped hole in the wall. It probably compromises the structural integrity of the building. BEN Hrmmm... Wait a second. I sense something off about this situation! You're supposed to be dead! TRUMP Well, erm, I'm not dead! Eh, the liberals have lied to you, Ben. Eh, they have brainwashed you. BEN Then how do you explain the live ISS footage? TRUMP Did you say ISIS? I love those guys! BEN No, Trump. I'm, I'm not talking about your social life right now. I'm talking about the floating thing up in the sky that takes pictures and moves around the Earth. TRUMP (gesturing with his meaty hands) Oh yeah. But it doesn't move around the Earth. It's on top of the horizontal disk that is America. The Gulf of America is the very edge of it, as we all know. Ben, I expected better education from you. BEN Your son left the building. Also, when are we getting oiled up? You promised we'd get all of America oiled up soon. TRUMP All in good time. All in good time. Wait, my son? No! That son of a bitch ripped open my urethra when he was born. I will never ever get to experience another sounding in the decade or so I have left to live. Trump sobs into his orange hands. Urine leaks out of his eyes, adding a beautiful golden glow to his face. BEN Wait is that why you don't have testicles? TRUMP ( hissing) Yes, unfortunately. Matt stole my entire scrotum when he emerged from my pelvis. BEN We should stop discussing genitalia, it is uncouth and not very modest, unlike my sexy sister Abby. TRUMP You're right. We should stop worrying about people's genitalia. It's really none of your business, Ben, what I have and don't have down there. You're so very right. I'm gonna go find my long lost son and see if he has grown up to be a nice young man. BEN Yes, I think I will visit the Supreme Court and do things with my sister. I will not specify to those of you watching or listening to Daily Wire. But if you subscribe to my Patreon or my OF, perhaps I will upload some extra footage. Haha, foot-age. Because I also have a foot fetish haha. The two boys go on their separate ways, feeling enlightened and refreshed. They acknowledge in their heads that there are plot holes; however, they do not care about inconsistencies and unanswered questions. They are on a mission. They are out to complete Project 2025.

Ah, WesMaps. Everyone’s favorite course registration program that clearly hasn’t been redesigned in years. Wesleyan’s gone through one-and-a-half logo redesigns in the past decade, but WesMaps remains frozen in time. But how old is it exactly? I was expecting to have to do major archaeology (using the Wayback Machine, viewing the page’s source code, guessing the year based on web technologies used), but the answer ended up being a lot easier to find. At the top of every WesMaps page, there’s an “ Archive ” link that I’m willing to bet doesn’t get clicked that much, and it gave me the answer right away: 1996. And yes, the 1996 course catalog is still live on Wesleyan’s servers. The big surprise to me is how little the structure of the course catalog has changed in the last 18 years. We still have the same three general education areas (Arts and Humanities, Natural Sciences and Mathematics, and Social Sciences), along with other familiar sections like Interdisciplinary Programs. The page also features those tiled-image backgrounds that were so popular on the ’90s web, along with a 1-bit black-and-white GIF depicting College Row at the top. Here’s what a course page looks like: Hey look, the class has 999 spots! I should sign up! Just kidding, there’s no way I’d drag myself through Algorithms again. My GPA wouldn’t be able to handle it. As for the current design, it dates to 2006, which is newer than I expected. (Warning: I’m about to get into some technical weeds. If you were planning to major in CS but fainted at the sight of DPL, look away!) The 2006 update added cutting-edge web features like Cascading Style Sheets, table-based layouts, and frames. For those unfamiliar, CSS allows web developers to customize visual aspects of webpages such as layout, fonts, and colors. (The first version of CSS came out in late 1996, and it took a few years for it to be usable in web browsers like Netscape 4 and Internet Explorer 3.) That said, its capabilities are seriously underused here. This exact page could’ve been created in 1996 using pure HTML — though by 2006, doing so would probably get you arrested by the web design police. “Table-based layouts” means that under the hood, the columns on this page are really just a table with 1 row and 4 columns. This is also something that’s very much frowned upon these days. What you’re supposed to do these days is use CSS to create columns, but that’s easier said than done. (Here’s a fun game: go ask a web dev “how do I center a div in CSS?” Same idea.) Frames only show up during course registration — they’re the things that make it so the course catalog shows up at the top and your current schedule shows up at the bottom. Their existence is generally regarded as a mistake. But you know what? I’m fine with WesMaps’s design being a little dated. It’s lightning fast, and it works. It’s certainly better than the alternative, which would be Wesleyan paying some outside company a ridiculous amount of money to make a redesign that will inevitably be slow, buggy, and a major step down from what it replaced. Long live WesMaps!

When ya going to fountain avenueeee..... Let's bring back 2008 style partying this weekend despite the whole campus being a slush puddle... I don't know about you but I'm having crazy fomo for the Wesleyan parties I could have been attending when I was freshly 5 years old in 2008 (while the class of 28 was still shitting in diapers). Enjoy this throwback look into 16 year old Wesleyan life from your Wesleying historian.

“My lifestyle dissolves fake smiles. It can be heartbreaking if you aren’t ready for it.” Riel ’14 , the wandering vagabond, surveys his options at the Usdan grill. Photo by Rachel Pincus ’13 . Two or three weeks ago, I entered my apartment around midnight to find the couch occupied by a bearded stranger. He was asleep, sprawled sideways and snoring loudly, and none of my housemates appeared within eyesight. As I reached over his torso to adjust the thermostat, I briefly considered dialing Public Safety. Instead, I located one of my housemates, Carey Gilchrist ’13 , and whispered my demand: “Who’s that dude on our couch?” “Oh, that’s Lina’s friend Riel,” Carey explained. “He sleeps in different places every night or something. So she offered him our couch.” “Oh,” I said. “Wait, that’s pretty awesome. Would he be up for an interview?” Riel ’14 , a junior majoring in Film and Computer Science, was gone from the couch by the time I awoke the next morning, but later in the week I ran into him in Weshop, where he was stocking up on eggs (“I gotta eat at least six a day, need the protein”) and canned beans. He explained that he had adopted something of a vagabond lifestyle at the beginning of the semester, crashing at friends’ places and refusing to make use of his assigned room in 1 Vine. “I’m trying to be the change I need to see,” Riel told me. On most days, he carries around a camping backpack and a sleeping bag. His lifestyle is controversial, but his reasoning has an oddly circuitous logic to it: If he’s already paying all this money for room and board, shouldn’t he be free not to use it? I asked Riel if he would like to be interviewed for this blog. Sure, he said, just so long as I didn’t publish his last name or a picture of his face. And could he boil some eggs in my stove while we did the interview? I consented to his demands, as he did to mine. This is the conversation that took place. Do you have a room on campus? Yeah, 1 Vine. I haven’t been to it yet. Well, I went to the kitchen to cook eggs once, but I didn’t actually go into the room. What inspired you to adopt this lifestyle on campus? I was hitchhiking around Mexico last semester—I ran away. I was really unhappy here. I went to Cuba for two months. Now I’m back and I have assigned housing and I’m trying to be the change I need to see. I’m trying to do what it takes to make myself happy in this environment. It’s sort of a challenge, you know? When did you first get creative about your living situation on campus? Last summer I went to summer session here. I didn’t want to pay and I was also really lazy about getting housing. At first I was going to sign up for  housing with my friend, but then he got suspended for being a dipshit. I knew it would be warm out. I could sleep outside, I could take showers and keep a locker at Freeman, plus I’d have friends on campus I could chill with and go to in case of an emergency. I didn’t need housing. Sophomore year I did lots of Adderall and just sat in my room all the time. You know, college is the first time you have a place that’s completely yours and you have complete privacy. And it can get very insular, very isolated. By contrast, this summer was great. I felt very dependent on people. When you’re dependent on people, you really learn you can trust them (or you can’t). When  you learn to trust people, you get comfortable. When you get comfortable, you let yourself be vulnerable; you can be who you really are. Most people at Wesleyan seem to be afraid of trusting each other. It makes us lonely and fake. There’s this parental lifeline that fulfills all of our physical needs and usually brings plenty of luxuries. We don’t need a network of other people to survive and thrive day-to-day. Wesleyan controls what we eat, where we sleep, where we work, where we buy our coffee, where we party, where we watch movies, where we buy our computers. To me, it feels like an oversimplification. I want to depend on people. I would go so far as to say that I need to depend on people. So you turned it into a personal challenge this semester? I wouldn’t say it’s a challenge. It’s not, like, some arbitrary personal goal just to be adventurous. Although it does effectively do this. I’m having lots of adventures all the time. Really, it’s a lifestyle choice. When you interact with people during the day, they have time to filter themselves. They go out in the world and they put on their business face. You have a context for what you’re talking about, the class you’re in or the club or the sport, so you never break each other’s comfort zones. When you’re in someone’s living space, they cook around you, and they need you to do things. They poop and they shower and they reveal their disgusting habits. I really like bonding with people so intimately. When I was homeless I realized so much of my personal identity was wrapped in routine. It had very little to do with me and had more to do with this routine I’d set up for myself. When you’re traveling around and you don’t have that agenda, you’re living in the moment. Everything’s fresh and everything’s improvised. You sort of isolate what’s really you from what’s your routine, your environment. Where have you slept for the past five nights? I slept in the lobby of 156 High for two of them. On a public couch. Also two different friends’ rooms. It’s mostly friends’ floors, beds, and couches. People are pretty down to cuddle up, you know? People like the comfort and the company. How do you typically approach people about sleeping over? I try not to force it on people. I try to make it really explicit that if you’d like to have me over, it’d be a good time, I’d really appreciate it, but it’s not an obligation. I have a lot of different options every night. I don’t want anyone to feel like there’s some moral obligation to have me over when they’re actually annoyed or inconvenienced. If someone feels like I’m encroaching on their space, it defeats the point. I try to do people favors when they have me over. I like washing dishes. I don’t disrespect their space or make a mess or take things. Where else do you sleep? In the summer I slept in Beta a lot. I walked in behind this guy, he typed in the code, and I was like, “Wow, that’s stupidly easy to remember.” So I just slept on the couches a lot and they were very chill. I also found a bed on the fourth floor of Clark. It was just in the hallway. I pushed it around the corner so P-Safe couldn’t see me. I slept outside sometimes. That tower over Jackson Field is really fun to hang out in. I  also slept in the library once, which was a really funny story. I climbed the wall and got into a thesis carrel and when I went outside to throw something away, I set off a silent alarm and the police came. They were knocking on every door and stopped right before they got to mine. I was terrified to leave the carrel after that. I had to pee, so I ended up peeing in several discarded food bags that I had. Of course I don’t get into those  sorts of shenanigans anymore,  just peoples’ rooms. I’ll start sleeping outside again as soon as it warms up. I have a toasty-ass sleeping bag. Where do you shower? Friends places’ and Freeman mostly. The first floor of Allbritton has showers in it. Also, the basement of Exley. I use those from time to time. Photo by Rachel Pincus ’13 . How has this affected your social life? Every night is a party. I can’t really avoid it. I used to be very reclusive, but now I’m sort of forced to go with the flow. I’m getting to know a lot more people than ever before.  I’ve met tons of really fun, interesting, kind people who are just too shy or reclusive or busy to meet at parties. I find the same people who averted their eyes from me in public making me breakfast when they find me passed out in their common room. In that way it’s strengthened my faith in the kindness of strangers and the inherent goodness of humanity. Of course, there’s a handful of people who are cold towards me, who look down on me or show me selfishness in a time of need. When it comes down to it, those aren’t the people I want to spend my time with anyways. My lifestyle dissolves fake smiles. It can be heartbreaking if you aren’t ready for it. Has anyone gotten suspicious of you? I am careful not to do things that are malicious, illegal, or troublesome.  A clean conscience will often neutralize suspicion. But I do get a decent amount of contempt from some students when I tell them about my situation or when they discover me doing homeless person things (sleeping in public, having a sleeping bag, eating discarded food).  Just students, though. I still haven’t had any problems with P-Safe, the police, or anyone in town. One time I was walking into WestCo and I asked a girl to hold the door for me, and she got real snotty. She asked for my ID and interrogated me for a solid five minutes. Once she convinced herself that I was a homeless dude from Middletown, she started talking about me to her friend as if I wasn’t there. The dissonance between Wesleyan students and the town we live in is kind of ludicrous. I grew up being friends with a lot of homeless people and university students.  I wouldn’t say that the students were more interesting, smarter, safer. I wouldn’t say that they were more trustworthy or honest or fun to be around. I really hate the word “Townie,” and I think it carries a lot of negative connotations. So what if I was from Middletown? How do your parents feel about your lifestyle? They’re a little unhappy with it, but they’ve accepted it. My dad is pissed to be paying for residence when I’m not using it. I am, too. I tried to marry out of it, but it didn’t work out. Long story. The university makes it very difficult. My parents also think it’s gonna fuck with my academic output, which has yet to be determined. I’ve been the happiest and most productive I’ve been my whole life.

“ I know that in four years, there will be no student memory of Mocon. It will be as if Usdan had always been there. It will just be a small selection of alums who will mourn its passing. You will be able to count me among them.” Colleen McKiernan, ’89, on April 22 2010, comment on Roth’s blog post  announcing the demolition of McConaughy dining hall.  Colleen is right, a very small group of students on campus today even know of the dining hall that came before Usdan, and even fewer know about how MoCon is Usdan’s cooler, older sister. I vividly remember asking an alum from the class of 89 during reunion weekend about MoCon and watching her almost cry thinking about it. "It was just so wonderful, we all loved the MoCon," she said. While the Douglas Cannon  was my sophomore year roman empire, the MoCon has become my senior year obsession, and I am devastated I’ll never get to experience it as part of my Wesleyan life. Colleen spoke her truth once again, writing that: “The absence of a single dining space large enough for the entire class seemed to be a consistent complaint about Usdan. There are so few things that one does at Wes as a whole class. Eating at Mocon was one of them…It was easy to watch everyone come and go, to find your friends as you walked down the stairs, to make announcements, do an informal poll to determine if boxers or briefs were better.” While I think I’m maybe the only person ever to consider Usdan my favorite playspace on campus, it’s absolutely true that the space is sterile and divided. We are split between quiet and loud side, dividing the athletes from narps, straights from gays, the bullies from the bullied (EDIT: okay I know it’s not that serious and people interchange between sides, that’s just my ultra generalization because I’m jealous of MoCon's one dining space. Proud quiet side gay narp). Today everyone accepts Usdan because it’s all they know for a main dining hall, but people HATED it when it came around in 2007, calling it Usdanistan and even boycotting it. Once you learn a little more about how loved MoCon was, you’ll understand what the uproar was about. If I went from eating in a cool flying saucer building that had been a core Wes experience for almost 50 years to corporate Usdan, I’d be upset too. Time for a WesHistory lesson! An original sketch of MoCon from the Special Collections MoCon, or McConaughy hall, opened in 1962 and was located on Foss between Nicolson and Hewitt, overlooking the cemetery and tennis courts. It’s named after the president of Wesleyan from 1925-1945, James L McConaughy.  It seems like he wa s well liked at least by the board of trustees and some alumni, because they took special care to note that “only buildings likely to be permanent parts of the University should be named for Wesleyan ‘greats.’ This naming should be viewed as a substantial honor undertaken only after the most careful consideration.” The unique building cost 1.3 million to make (less than Roth’s annual salary!), and was acclaimed in magazines listing unique and modern colleges. When it opened in 1962, it was known as the “freshman dining hall,” and meals were $0.75 (breakfast), $1.00 (lunch), and $1.50 (dinner). The freshman price of board was $575. Jealous. A menu from the 60s that I found in the Special Collections…mmm, what I wouldn’t do for a Monday meal of frankfurters, beans, and jello. MoCon was not just a dining hall, but an event space. There were dances with almost 700 people like the Dozen Heart Ball in 1964, and regular concerts, lectures, and events from groups all over Connecticut being hosted at the Hall. It's essential to remember that at the time of MoCon’s construction, Wesleyan was still an all boys school; Robert M. Stone ‘70 remarked in the fiftieth reunion class of the pre-co-ed dances: “Freshman year also ushered in strange new social experiences, such as “mixers” with local women’s colleges and fraternity rush. When the buses filled with women arrived at the circle in front of McConaughy dining hall for our first mixer, we behaved like crazed animals. I’m surprised any women were willing to leave the bus.”  Were people in the 1960s getting it on in the MoCon bathrooms? I sure hope so.  The concerts and talks were epic, and highlights include Joni Mitchell, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., and Nina Simone (tickets were THREE DOLLARS), Angela Davis, and so many more. Brides also apparently liked getting married at MoCon because of the grand entrance you could make by the stairs, which despite me scouring the internet I cannot find any photos of. If you got married here please email us  with photos and info. I need to see it.  The space and openness of MoCon was what made it special and conducive to community. In an argus article , Mile s Bukiet ‘11, creator of the Save Mocon Facebook page, said, “the quality of the space was so open and big…you felt like you were in a forest, and it had a cathedral sort of feel too.”  Stuart Remensnyder wrote in a Save Mocon  post some of his thoughts and memories: “Also certainly remember well the smell of Mocon the morning after a good party or concert - an acrid mixture of stale cheap beer and human sweat - testament to a well used living space. I am sorry that future students may not have a chance to enjoy the bright space on a Sunday morning looking out and away from campus rather than into the center. It was nice that it was on the edge of campus looking out and keeping us thinking of the world beyond.” There was Smoke n Moke, or Smokon, which is way better than a dismal boozedan (which I honestly haven’t done since I was 18). There was Thanksgiving where EACH TABLE GOT A WHOLE TURKEY??? Okay, thats just cruel. A professor I had my Sophomore year told me about how he accidentally took acid at a music event at MoCon as a PHD student in the 80s (70s?) because they were passing them out and he, stoned, just wanted a sip of water to cure his dry mouth. Apparently there was lots of streaking and making announcements on the stairs, dropping cups from DKE, dance marathons, and maybe even food fights? You can read more MoCon traditions here , but watch out for how it might make you feel. As Ilana from Broad City would say: Thank you wesleying from 2010  for this diagram in the abandoned Mocon that makes me feel like i'm in a post apocalyptic dream  In short, MoCon seemed way more lit than Usdan could ever even dream of. Fun things actually happened there, and I’m jealous. Let's not get it twisted - people absolutely complained about the food, some hated it, and many weren’t even sad to see it go in 2010. But the point is that the grimyness, layout, and events gave it personality, and more importantly, made it a student space. I can’t even fathom half of these things being able to happen in a space like Usdan, and I don’t feel like it has real community. Or maybe people are just less fun at this school now. Maybe a combination of both.  2005 argus article showing the first MoCon thanksgiving (courtesy of Special Collections) But because everything good must apparently die here, in May of 2007, MoCon served its last meal, and thus began Moconaughgeddon . Many students and alums desperately wanted to stop it  from being destroyed. For several years, it was unclear what would happen to the building. Many in the Save Mocon facebook group hoped for a concert venue, roller derby rink, gym, or an art museum, in an effort to preserve the unique building, but administration claimed that the expense of keeping it up and restoring it would be too expensive. Though it was already suspected, M-dawg Roth confirmed the news on 4/20 of 2010 that the school had officially decided to go through with its demolition, which I think is frankly hilarious. I can only imagine stoned members of the class of 2010 sent into a marajuana induced panic on Foss when they found out that their efforts to save MoCon were done.  The Mococalypse Indeed, its destruction marked a change in Wesleyan’s larger culture, as buildings that came up in the early 2000s like Usdan, Fauver, Bennet, and Zelnick Pavilion represented a sterilization of the architecture around campus. It's destruction also erased what memory was left of James L. McConaughy – his granddaughter in a Save Mocon post reminded people that in many ways, the building also served as a memorial to his legacy. After my research, I’ve come up with the top 5 things I would have done if I had gotten to be a Wes student during MoCon times: Pay THREE DOLLARS to see Nina Simone at my own school  Be stoned on Foss april 20th, 2010, when everyone found out their beloved MoCon was to be demolished Eat a whole turkey with eight of my friends at a round table Do a official Wesleying irl poll at the top of the stairs (and have no DKE members drop cups (why does DKE even exist again??)) Officiate a Mocon wedding Honorable mention goes to participating in the mocon bathroom freaking I hope was happening during those 60s dances  The collective memory of MoCon is MoGone, and left only to the few faculty that remember it and students who reminisce on a version of this school that they never got to experience. Maybe this article might prompt people to make Usdan a fun student space, or maybe we’ll just stick to the occasional happy birthday that one half of Usdan sings, the questionable music on loud side, and waiting in insane lines. But I miss you MoCon, and I never even got to know you.

Needed to highlight here a 2013 video made by users "Betty" and Dan Wissinger on how to do the Michael Roth. I need to see someone doing this dance at a party before I graduate. His bodily control and flow is more than I can describe in words, so just watch it below:

You know, I just wrote this headline and now it’s making me think of how no matter what YouTube video you watch, the algorithm always tries to send you towards “1 WOKE teen vs. 20 Trump supporters.” But thankfully that’s not what I’m here to talk about. I’m here to talk about YouTube channels I’m subscribed to where one could hypothetically spend too much time watching their content — and by “one” I mean “me,” and by “hypothetically” I mean “not hypothetically at all.” Let’s do that hockey: Todd in the Shadows This mysterious music critic has a few series that are very easy to get lost in. “One Hit Wonderland”  is about one-hit wonders, their journey to their one hit, and what they did afterward. “Trainwreckords” is about albums that ruined popular artists’ careers (such as Katy Perry’s Witness ). But what first drew me in was his annual rankings of the 10 worst pop songs of the year — guess bad music makes for great videos. CGP Grey This YouTuber is single-handedly waging a war against bad state flags. Take a look at your state’s flag  — there’s a good chance it’s just your state’s official seal over a boring blue background. Then go take a look at Grey’s video  and see how he places it in his tier list. Spoiler alert: there’s a very large F tier. RndStranger If you have really serious procrastination needs, may I interest you in a 1000+-video series? This guy played and reviewed every game  released for the NES/Famicom in Japan. You’ll get the all-time classics (Super Mario Bros., Mega Man, Final Fantasy), the obscure gems (Bio Miracle, Adventure Island IV, Gimmick!), the absolute crap (Takeshi’s Challenge, Super Monkey Adventure), and lots and lots of baseball . yovo68 There’s this low-clearance bridge in Durham, North Carolina that eats moving trucks for breakfast, and this guy set up a camera near the bridge to capture all the trucks that crash into the bridge or get their roofs shaved off. I recognize that watching and laughing at these videos may seem a bit mean to the truck drivers whose vehicles got destroyed by the bridge, but there is literally a giant flashing sign in front of the bridge that warns truck drivers that they won’t fit under the bridge. Here’s a best-of compilation  — make sure to watch until at least 1:40 for a major  plot twist.

As you think of ways to put off writing that 10 to 12-page term paper that’s due on Sunday at 11:59pm, I ask, have you considered Roblox? Despite never having played as a child, I became a Roblox FIEND this year, and I’ve been trying to get my friends into it, to varying degrees of success. Here are eight Roblox games that you can and should play instead of studying for finals. Dress to Impress The Man in the Yellow Hat if he slayed. Regardless of where you stand on the VIP/non-VIP drama, or whether you follow the game’s surprisingly dark lore , there’s something for everyone to enjoy in Dress to Impress . Dress up your character according to a variety of fun themes, and when it’s time to rate everyone else’s outfits, tell them that they “ATEEEEE” even if you’re only going to give them one out of five stars. You should never go above three stars when rating others’ looks, unless you’re playing with your baddies , in which case they should all get INSTANT fives. Obviously. My Movie My first film, “10 Inspiring Images About Apples,” received overwhelmingly positive reviews. Unleash your inner Mike White and make the film of your dreams! In My Movie , you’ll have access to all of the images in Roblox’s library, as well as a variety of stunning soundtracks. Make a thrilling multi-part saga or a simple short film; a horror movie or an action flick; a stop-motion animation or something more traditional. You can invite other people to work on films with you, but be prepared: some of your fellow filmmakers might be unwilling to share the spotlight. When you’re finished with your movie, you can force—ahem, allow  everyone in the theater to watch it. I say: Absolute cinema. Therapy “Me and my skibidi friends are losing the toilet war… and idk what to do,” proclaims the mournful Skibidi Toilet.  Taking care of your mental health  has never been so affordable - therapy  offers Roblox players the opportunity to talk to other people about the many problems in their lives. Sometimes, these problems are mundane: too much homework , overbearing parents, trauma from watching awful films in My Movie. Other times, they’re more serious. I once spent thirty minutes talking to a guy who was upset because his girlfriend was depressed: not because she was having suicidal thoughts, but because she didn’t want to have sex with him. In short, this game is fun, but do NOT play it if you are an empath !  SCP: Site Roleplay Asking the questions everybody else is too afraid to think about… SCP: Site Roleplay  is a must-play for fans of the SCP Foundation  lore who want to experience the ins and outs of life at an SCP containment site. Become a soldier who protects Foundation personnel, a scientist who runs experiments, or a Class-D inmate who revolts against the Foundation! Be sure to remember the locations of the on-site nuclear bomb  shelters—the pay-to-win players love to abuse the nuke button. And do NOT, under ANY circumstances, answer the people who ask you, “What’s 2520 + 1?”   Car Crash Test Oh no! My car!  Car Crash Test  is the first game I ever played on Roblox, so it holds a special place in my heart. It’s a great way to release stress. After spawning a car of your choice, you can destroy it by using bombs and Molotov cocktails, parking on train tracks, or driving out of an airplane. You can also, of course, crash into someone else’s vehicle . It’s not as fun as it is in real life, but I have to admit that it comes pretty damn close! Be sure to turn down your volume before you play: things can get very loud very quickly, and I have almost busted an eardrum multiple times.  Fredbear’s Mega Roleplay Me and gang 💯🗣️🔥 Was that the bite of ‘87?!  In Fredbear’s Mega Roleplay , you can experience the thrilling events of the Five Nights at Freddy’s  franchise from the comfort of your own home. Explore a variety of famous in-game locations, including the original Freddy Fazbear’s  Pizza, Circus Baby’s Pizza  World, and the Afton family home. There are plenty of hidden secrets if you know where to look, and I’ve made it my mission to obtain all of the hidden characters. My favorite thing to do is close the curtains when the animatronics are performing on stage. The other players will get really pissed off, but if you run away quickly enough, they won’t be able to tell that it’s you.  Petalcreek Academy RP The teachers here do NOT like me. Have you ever wanted to relive high school? Me neither, but you still need to check out Petalcreek Academy RP . You can choose to be a good student: go to class, make friends, and experience the epic highs and lows of high school football . However, most students prefer to spend their time beating the shit out of each other using various implements, including pencils, broken bottles, and baseball bats. People WILL attack you for no reason, and it’s up to you to decide whether you want to fight back or run away and hide in a locker. Personally, I’ll never be able to look at an umbrella the same way… Infinite Craft AI Thank god, LGBTQIA+ people can play Fortnite now. Infinite Craft AI  is essentially a Roblox version of neal.fun ’s Infinite Craft . You start with four elements—water, earth, wind, and fire—and combine them to craft, well, an infinite amount of new elements. You will end up with thousands before you know it, and you might even end up crafting some new elements of your own. You can share your elements with other players and sell them in the in-game shop for diamonds . Or, if you’re feeling particularly mischievous , you can steal other peoples’ elements. The choice is yours!