Welcome to the sixth installment of Ask Wesleying, an advice column about any and all things Wes! Have a question about life at Wes? Submit it to get it answered in Ask Wesleying! You can find all of the Ask Wesleying columns here.
This week’s question is about intimacy of the emotional variety:
I feel like Wesleyan’s culture encourages shallow relationships. I find little emotional intimacy in my relationships here. Is this a Wesleyan thing or a me thing?
You can read the answer to this week’s question below the jump!
College is hard. From adjusting to living away from your family for the first time to figuring out how to navigate academics to making friends, these 4-ish years of your life are full of new challenges.
I’ve always wanted to start an advice column. Now that I’m in my senior year, I’m taking advantage of my Wesleyan/life wisdom (also being managing editor of Wesleying and therefore being able to kinda do whatever I want) by starting a weekly advice column! Read on to learn more:
Welcome to Ask Wesleying! Each week I will answer questions from students just like you about anything having to do with anything and everything Wesleyan University: social life, academics, living on your own, roommates, hookup culture, extracurriculars, meal plans, and more!
In order for this to work, y’all have to send in some questions! Questions can be submitted anonymously via this form, or less-anonymously by emailing us at staff[at]wesleying[dot]org (put “Ask Wesleying” in the subject line)! All questions will be answered and posted anonymously, even if you email us including your name. Some weeks, I might reach out to other writers or my friends to guest-answer your questions!
You’ve spent the last month with us reading about what to pack, what to think about when choosing classes, and of course, following the journey of the interesting ways Wesleyan operates. I remember when I was a pre-frosh, stalking every Wesleying article I could get my mouse on, and trying to piece together what my first semester would look like. I was right on a few things, but I was definitely unprepared with a few, err, a lot of this.
Sdz started a post last year called “Things I Wish I Knew as a First Year,” which was featured after Unofficial Orientation, and we’ve decided to fully integrate it into the series. We’ve been in your shoes, and want to help you by telling you our very, very wise wisdom that we can embark on you.
The advice in this column was anonymously sent into Wesleying’s TipBox by many wonderful members of Wesleyan’s community. Take a deep breath, get off of Instagram, and take a minute to read it.
It’s that time of year again: your friends are all starting to announce their plans for the summer. Their paying, professional, real-live adult plans. Meanwhile, if you’re anything like me, you’re probably lying in bed with one hand in a box of cereal and the other aimlessly scrolling through your Twitter feed in hopes that if you ignore the problem of summer plans, it will go away. If you starting to feel the weight of the world (i.e. your parent’s disapproving stares at your choice of major) falling on your shoulders, don’t worry: your friends here at Wesleying are here to help!
If you’ve missed your favorite late-night Espwesso barista, you’ll be happy to hear that he’s now making waves as a Venture for America Fellow in downtown Las Vegas. Since the final VFA deadline (Monday, March 24th) is approaching rapidly, Jacob Eichengreen ’13 agreed to an interview about his post-graduation experiences, and the takeaway is honest and encouraging: “Life after graduation is uncomfortable,” but there’s great personal and professional growth to be found in taking risks and embracing discomfort.
For more information on risk-taking and growth with VFA, contact Jacob at jacob.eichengreen[at]gmail[dot]com or the campus ambassador at scapron[at]wesleyan[dot]edu.
What sparked your interest in VFA and what led you to choose the fellowship over other options you had during your senior year?
I chose VFA early on. I did the second Selection Day and it was one of those things where the more I went through the process, the more I started focusing on VFA and the less I was focusing on everything else. Lauren Gill actually gave me a cold call at some point senior year and I was a huge jerk and hung up on her. She then emailed me and said that Josh Levine ’12 had put my name down as someone who would find the program interesting. We ended up having a good conversation and I said okay, I really respect Josh, let’s just see what happens.
Yes, reader, that includes you. Coming at you from Marissa Castrigno ’15:
Everyone is Gay began as a humorous advice blog, but quickly became a multi-faceted safe haven for young people – particularly queer youth, their families and friends. In fall of 2011, Everyone is Gay began touring school campuses nationwide to raise awareness, answer questions, and provide simple yet powerful steps for bringing change and awareness to communities… while keeping everyone laughing.
Date: Wednesday, April 10th, 2013
Time: 7:00–8:30 PM
Place: CFA Hall
Right now, many of us are struggling to find classes to add and drop. Wesleyan doesn’t have any actual required courses, so what makes a good foundation?
N. Gregory Mankiw makes some suggestions in Sunday’s New York Times:
- Economics: “When students leave school, ‘the ordinary business of life’ will be their most pressing concern.”
- Statistics: “One thing the modern computer age has given everyone is data. Lots and lots of data.”
- Finance: “With the rise of 401(k) plans and the looming problems with Social Security, Americans are increasingly in charge of their own financial future.”
- Psychology: “It reveals flaws in human rationality, including your own.”
Perhaps the best advice he gives, though, is about advice: “listen to it, consider it, reflect on it but ultimately follow [your] own instincts and passions.”