Last night, Wesleying received an anonymous tip regarding the presence of a hammer and sickle in an Olin elevator. The entire campus community went cray.
Tag Archives: april fools
This Snow is the Worst April Fools Joke to Date
I’m displeased. I woke up at 7AM this morning, ready to start the day off right, but was unable to do that because I looked out my window to the sight of several inches of snowy sorrow.
The snowfall is expected to peter out around noon. It’s still unclear whether we will be getting enough snow to do this or this:
Despite Valiant Effort by Wes, Oberlin Wins April Fools Day Forever
Above you’ll find a brand new video interview with Griffin Gallati ’15, fictional ten-year-old astronomy and music major who holds several jobs on campus and is reported to be “one of Wesleyan’s more unique students.” Subtly nestled into Wesleyan’s homepage yesterday, it was a valiant effort—and clearly took an admirable amount of work on the part of whomever Wesleyan pays to feed into student narcissism every weekday with a video camera—but let’s just say Oberlin wins this round, probably forever. Presenting the Oberlin (err, Meowberlin) homepage, as it appeared yesterday, April 1:
WSA Prank Incites Panic, Rage
If you received a convincing enough “Notice of Pending Disciplinary Action and Student Judicial Board Hearing” in your inbox yesterday, you can relax now. You’re not in trouble—just kinda gullible.
Last year, on April 1, the WSA sent out an email announcing Rebecca Black as a surprise addition to the Spring Fling lineup. (Weirdly enough, so did Bard.) Wesleyan yawned. The previous year, they declared Sarah Palin the surprise Commencement speaker. Lame. This year, they sent out a vague SJB notice to all-campus. People took notice.
Funny? Mean-spirited? Brutally obnoxious? I think it was well-played. If you read a little closer, you’ll see that it’s credited to one “April Stulti,” and—well, props to whichever WSA person is studying Latin. Did anyone show up at the WSA meeting? (“But I didn’t even go out last night!”)
Click past the jump for the email in full. In other news, Rick Santorum is Middletown-bound on April 19. Anyone got any other decent April Fools pranks to report? We should have reported on this yesterday, but man, we was Weasleyin‘, you know?
April Fools’ Prank-Off
Wamp wamp.
So here it is. Send us pictures/videos/descriptions of your on-campus April Fools’ Day pranks, and the best ones will be posted here for everlasting glory.
Prank your roommate, your classmates, or unsuspecting tour groups. Be subtle and sneaky, or outrageously over-the-top. Match pranksters of yesteryear – the only limit to the lulz is your imagination. Just make sure someone’s on hand with a camera, and don’t hold us responsible for any shenanigans gone horribly wrong – we’re just enablers.
Send your submissions to staff(at)wesleying(dot)org with “prank” as the subject, by 11:59 pm, April 1st (midnight tonight).
Administration to “make Wes normal” over the summer
the butt tunnels: RIP
South College:
The administration gave the go-ahead to a top secret plan this morning called “Operation Make Wesleyan Normal,” set to begin in late May, immediately after senior week.
An anonymous tipper informs us that the plan includes:
painting over the butt tunnels (again)
closing WestCo cafe
bulldozing the tomb
making Eclectic the new admissions building
replacing the heat-sensitive detectors with smoke-sensitive detectors in the foss dorms
possibly flattening Foss Hill, and much more…
Our anonymous tipper writes, “This is bullshit. I think it’s obvious that they’re doing this over the summer so we won’t be here to protest. Spread the word!”
another anonymous student, a graduating senior, said “I’ve been afraid that this plan was in the works for years. Now it’s finally out. I knew something was up when they demolished the M7 building last summer.“
In an exclusive interview, David Pesci, director of Media Relations, defended the projects under OMWN: He says of the butt tunnels, “who wants graffiti sprayed all over the place where they live, work, and learn?” (ok, we took this one from here. but the rest was from an exclusive interview, really)
Pesci had similar things to say about everything else:
on closing WestCo cafe: “who wants dirty hippies all over the place where they live, work, and learn?”
on bulldozing the tomb: “the tomb? who wants a constant reminder of death all over the place where they live, work, and learn?”
and on the smoke detectors: “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Who wants fire all over the place where they live, work and learn?” on making Eclectic the new admissions building: “I think it’s a nice building. Good old classical columns and all that. Who wants Eclectic kids all over the place where you would want prospective students with rich parents?”
When asked about why the plan is taking place over the summer, Pesci said “who wants Wesleyan students all over the place where you live, work, and learn?”
April Fools!
Liana Hernandez ’09 opened her door today to find this:
Pranksters Tim Horgan-Kobelski ’09 and Collin McMichael ’09 write “Every shoe, bottle, drawer, and other receptacle was also filled with caution tape. The pictures don’t exactly capture the extent of the taping but do show a decent enough amount of carnage.
and Vlad Gurewich ’10 found all his stuff out on Foss Hill:
It’s not April Fools day. JKz APRIL FOOLS!
Yes, it’s that time of year again, which means we are kicking off…
Here’s the deal. Send us pictures/videos and descriptions of your on-campus April Fools’ day pranks, and we’ll put the best ones up on here, thus prolonging the shame of your victim and securing your place among the best of the best. Bonus points if it involves none of the Wesleying staff (don’t hurt me).
So go for it. Make your hungover roommate wake up in the graveyard. Change your friend’s Chapstik up with blood-red lipstick. Mess with some official doctor stationary and make your friend think ze’s pregnant. The possibilities are endless, and so are the possible consequences for your actions (“Yes, officer, I technically murdered him, but it was really just an April Fools’ prank on his entire family.”)
That’s the gist of it. Send your submissions to…
Submit by 11:59pm, April 1st (midnight tonight) for a chance at glory.