Tag Archives: Are You Wesleyan?

Hello Lil’ 2020 Prefrosh!

shinyhappyprefrosh

Hi so Regular Decision notifications went out today. This year, Wes set its record for the highest number of applications received, a 22% increase from last year. If you check the Wesleyan thread on College Confidential (yikes), not only will you be wondering why you are there, but you will also know that I’m not bullshitting you, the decisions are actually out.

And guess what! President Roth tweeted about it:

#ThisisObama’sNow

obama-jogging

Prez Obama is running away with our #ThisIsWhy campaign.

What do you do when the leader of the free world hijacks your hashtag campaign? Barack Obama recently launched a new site featuring stories on why health care (reform) matters. The tagline’s Twitter-translation? #ThisisWhy.

It all began on January 1st, with Virginia.

Screen Shot 2014-01-23 at 9.22.08 AM

Virginia may be able to go to the doctor again but does she have anything on James W. Thomasson ’63, an alum who gives us this story as part of Wesleyan’s #ThisIsWhy campaign?

At the age of eight, in socially divided Middleburg, Virginia, I was “reported” to my mother by a neighborhood “wag” for playing in the street with “John Henry”—yes, a ten-year-old black boy. As big a disgrace as that must have been for the neighbor, it paled in comparison to the embarrassment of my mother and the rage of my father.

Early Decision Letters Go Out to the Class of 2018, College Confidential Explodes

Yes, I know, we all feel really fucking old.

College_App_cartoon

Breaking news: Some of the youngsters of the class of 2018 (yes, meaning most of them were born in 1996) have been accepted to Wes through Early Decision, and they are now officially part of the Wesleyan community. Holla at all the prefrosh who are reading this post, and welcome to the Bestleyan.

Oh the little ED applicants.

Oh the little ED applicants.

As usual, however, no one really cares about the actual members of the class; we’re all in it for the WesAdmits 2018 page (which does in fact exist already!). Prefrosh who are reading this: Save yourself some awkwardness when you get to campus and know your WesAdmits etiquette.

  • About 70% of the upperclassmen on WesAdmits are totally trolling the shit out of you. When they say really random things things like, “All Wesleyan dorms are being equipped with froyo machines next year!”, they’re expecting you to be gullible. Last year one of my friends convinced an entire group of freshmen that Summerfields was getting a Starbucks express line.
  • Don’t talk about all the other colleges you were going to apply to. You got into Wesleyan ED; those other colleges don’t mean anything now. Stop trying to impress everyone with how you were going to apply to Brown ED but didn’t because you were too authentic for that Ivy League life.
  • Don’t post pictures of you holding your acceptance letter on WesAdmits. Some weird upperclassmen will turn it into their Facebook cover photo. Plus it just looks awkward.
  • Do NOT for the love of all that is Wesleyan friend request everyone in the WesAdmits Facebook group. It’s been two years since I got into Wesleyan, and to this day, every time my friends and I see the kid from my class year who friended 350+ Wes ED classmates back in December 2011, someone yells, “That’s the dude who friended all the people on WesAdmits!”

Become A Tour Guide

Love talking about Wesleyan, but have no one to listen? Enjoy showing off our clothing optional library and making corny jokes about how everything in Pi is $3.14?  Apply to be a Wesleyan tour guide!

Kayla Stoler ’14 writes in: 

The Office of Admissions is hiring again!  The tour guide application is available here. It should be completed and returned to dethomas(at)wes (or a paper copy to the Office of Admission).

Contact: dethomas(at)wes
Due: Monday, November 12 @ 5pm

Who is Wesleyan?

Another request from Wesleyan’s Orientation Puppet-Masters Interns:

You know those giant glass cases in Usdan? The Orientation Team is making a collage this year for the youngin’s and we need you to help us! Please submit your pictures, words, anything, that you think answers, “Who is Wesleyan?” Feel free to submit pictures of you and your friends.

Get on it! Link here.

Do you meet with your Sanskrit discussion group for tea and conversation on Friday nights?

We’ve come to learn more and more how tremendously hilarious college rankings are, and here’s a new one to get you through the wee hours of Sunday night.  Unigo, whose founder might just happen be an alumnus of this fine institution, recently included Wesleyan on its list of the most “Intellectually Endowed” Schools in the country.  The Huffington Post has taken that ranking and turned it into one of their amazing slideshows, deeming us one of “The Brainiest Colleges.” Rather than just copy and paste the text, however, I’ll take the liberty of relaying the information in the style of our precious Admissions website:

Are you…“driven, hyper-intelligent, and liberal-minded”?  Do you question…“every single thing in society”?  Can you not just…“go with the flow and accept life the way that it is“? Do you “harbor a strong…desire for knowledge”?  Does work…come first?  Is there no…“pressure to go out and party”?  Do you not spend all four days of reading week…partying?

Click here to read the actual text.

Are You Yale?

I get that “we’re all in this together!”-type musicals like Glee and High School Musical are real zeitgeisty right now, but did Yale Admissions really need to go and do this?

Say goodbye to 17 minutes of your life:

And you thought our “Are You Wesleyan?” business was a disaster.

“Are You Wesleyan” para-admissions campaign

Hey remember that terrible “Are You Wesleyan?” thing on the new admissions page? The one that’s still up despite the overwhelmingly negative student response to it in the month since it launched?

Judging by the initial reactions of the people in the administration who were involved (defensive irritation from Assistant Dean of Admissions Tara Lindros, ambivalence from President Michael Roth), they assumed that our vehement outrage would naturally simmer down to latent resentment over time.

It seemed they were right, but NO MORE.

At least, Aural Wes finally posted the initial results of their LOL-based alternative admissions project, intended to display a more revealing side of the student body. Some results below, click through for the full AW write-up.

Hardcore posturing Wes, from Will Tomlinson. DO OR DIE:

I am Wesleyan (bleed cardinal red)

Stupiddrunk Wes, from Adam Schlesinger ’10. Empty PBRs, A; dashiki and boxers, A+.

are you wesleyan

BougieWes, from Ben Bernstein ’10. We’re so civilized, you guys:are you wesleyan2

Synesthetically-hallucinating-Wes, from Andrea Neustein ’09:

are you wesleyan3

Add to the glory: make your own para-admissions photo and send it in. You could stay up all night making friends for life, or you could do this. Find out how after the jump.

Yo WesPilgrims, Diversionary Mirth At Hand

129037711750731786

0))) ’10 just posted something brilliant over at AuralWes. I think you should go and participate. There are some dark, hilarious places in the picture-bowels of facebook…. I will summarize/ copy paste here:

here’s the deal: if you think the new admissions site is totally fucking stupid, condescending, and more than a bit disingenuous, you can create your own alternative! find your favorite wasteyface, shit-disturbing, or otherwise seedy photos of yourself and then head on over to icanhascheezburger.com. once there you can use their “advanced lolbuilder” to caption anything you want…however you want…in that iconic lolcat font we all love. SO, AURALWES IS HAVING OUR FIRST CONTEST EVAAR!!!11! (omfg)
Make your BEST para-admissions picture and send it over to auralwes@gmail.com

(on a side note, is anyone starting to think that, far from being a misguided attempt at making our HAWT SCHOOL look good, the new admissions website is actually some kind of guerilla genius instigation of this kind of mockery? they are getting so much play out of this.)