It’s that time of year. You’ve endured, you’ve prospered. You’ve sat through your grandmother’s complaints over Thanksgiving. It is time to reap what you hath sewed. Ye bearded men, ’tis the time to reflect upon what has grown upon your face. Snap a shot of your beard, ‘stache, fu manchu, or even neard (I myself won best neard two yeards in a row). The possibilities for categories are only limited by the possibility within your facial hair follicles. Help us make this roundup better than all the past years!
Before you shave, send your face to staff(at)wesleying(dot)org and put “NOVEMBEARD” in the subject line so we know what’s up. Also include a brief blurb or reflection on your beard, and specify if you want to be kept anonymous.
Have you heard of Ben “British Petroleum” Purinton ’13? Because he’s heard of you. Uh. Anyways. He comes bearing gifts, and news from the front lines of institutionalized composting:
Pretty please take this little, itty bitty, 6 question (multiple choice!) SURVEY. It will help us on the Composting Committee better serve you in the future, and maybe even get us some fancy new buckets. Answers are anonymous, so don’t hold back!
Let the record state that in this event submission, by the way, the start date is listed as “errday,” and the end date is listed as “when we’ve stopped climate change.” So you’ve got a little time.
Also, relevant: anyone know where our composting bucket is? Did we leave it out back somewhere? Let me know if you see it!
No-Shave Roundup: “My beard enjoys long walks on cold days, shampoo, and fraternizing with fellow beards.”
“As to the whiskers, having never worn any, do you not think people would call it a piece of silly affection if I were to begin it now?” So wrote a beardless Abraham Lincoln to Grace Bedell, the 11-year-old admirer who first suggested that he “grow whiskers” before ascending to the presidency. Had Lincoln taken up residency at Wesleyan, it wouldn’t have taken him so freaking long: this campus has got more great beards than Jamaica’s got mangoes. Some of them look like muskrats, some Karl Marx, and many of them are thriving and growing all year long.
No Shave November is a week past. We howled, you submitted: beards, beards, and porno ‘staches out the wazoo. We’ve finished analyzing texture, follicle count, ‘stache, and general beardliness, and we are ready to post. This year’s submissions far surpassed the volume of last year’s. I suspect that has at least something to do with the efforts of one Jake Schofield ’12, who recently hosted the first ever No Shave party and celebrated “an ancient tradition.” Schofield reports: “Everyone won something, but only one manly man won the Best Beard award. It was unanimously decided that the manliest man of them all, Mr. Ofer Levy ’12, should receive this great honor.”
Click past the jump for Wesleying’s finest beard submissions and a full photo gallery.
Despite the frightfully muggy weather this week, leading researchers agree that today is, in fact, the last of November and tomorrow is, in fact, the start of Decembruary. For some, that spells despair. For others, a visceral sense of relief. The war is over. In a few shorts hours (EST), the (your) (our) (collective) Novembeard is complete. You can shave the growling groundhog off your cheeks.
But don’t. Not yet, at least. First, share the glory. This is a call for submissions: get your beard all wet and send it to Wesleying. Photos, mainly, though I guess we won’t shy away from physical evidence if you’ve got it. Or videos, paintings, x-rays, poems, artistic renditions, time lapse presentations—whatever best sums up your beautiful dark twisted Marx-meet-Hayes facial fantasy. Like last year, we are collecting beard submissions for a Beards of Glory roundup. Once again, every follicle helps.
The offer is open to Novembeard participants of any gender identity and all facial hair varieties: beards, mustaches, chin straps, muttonchops, anything. Please address all beard submissions to staff(at)wesleying(dot)org. Include “NOVEMBEARD” in the subject line, provide a bit of basic info about your beard, and let us know if you’d like to remain anonymous. To see last year’s roundup, click here. (Oh, and click past the jump for an additional note from Jake Schofield ’12, who would also like to be in touch with committed No Shave participants for a riveting competition and eventual Novembeard party.)
First of all, check out the video below. If you’re in a more musical mood, this song will suffice, with this diagram as a helpful reference point.
Anyway. It’s December 7. We’ve spent a week collecting beard photo submissions from you and your filthy glorious fur-faced friends—analyzing the stubble, measuring shape and form, processing color. We’ve received neck beards (“neards”) and porn ‘staches, full beards and adolescent stubble, blond beards and black beards. Every hair follicle counts. There are, to be certain, some exquisite WesBeards going on at this school—and no, they’re not all consigned to the month of November. Bravo, Wesleyan. You did good.
Without further adieu, here’s our long promised No-Shave Roundup: a photo survey of some of this campus’s finest Novembeards. Below is a quick photo slideshow, but click past the jump for more detail on some of the beards included in this post. And thank you, again, to all the lovely submitters.
Guys. Look at the calendar. It’s almost December 1. No-Shave November’s coming to a triumphant end, and you’re getting psyched to pull out the razor and shave the decrepit muskrat off your face. From Hagrid to Bieber in ten minutes, amiright?
Slow down and share the glory: if you’re particularly proud of (or mortified by) what thirty days has wrought on your face, send pics of your beautiful dark twisted facial hair fantasy to staff(at)wesleying(dot)org. Put something beard-related in the subject line, and let us know if you don’t want your name included. If we get enough submissions (read: more than two), I’ll post a Wesleying No-Shave November Round-Up. Promise.