You know that scene in Fight Club where Tyler Durden goes off to the seedy motel to keep Marla company? Remember how the motel kept all the beds covered in slippery plastic since they got copious amounts of bodily fluids dumped on them so often? Well, Wesleyan one-upped Sketchy Fictional Motel and just went whole hog—Their beds are fucking made of plastic.

The beds at Wes come in one of two flavors: One mattress’s outer covering is made of a smooth, disturbingly shiny seafoam green vinyl-like material; The other is a more fabric-like navy blue knit. Unless you’re used to sleeping on clouds in the kingdom of heaven, the beds are by no means uncomfortable, but most students like to put as much distance between them and the non-body-heat-retentive plastic as possible.

Option 1: Mattress pad

Easily the most common bedding pick-me-up found at Wesleyan. Mattress pads are dirt cheap and since they’re made of actual fabric instead of something that’ll melt if you put it in the dryer, you can launder them with the rest of your clothes. This means mattress pads are often your best form of protection from any sort of unhygienic liquid that might leak through your sheets (ahem). Unfortunately, unless you get the hardcore ones that are half a foot thick and made of feathers from fig-fed Russian imperial geese, they’ll do shit all in making the mattress more comfy.

Pros:
Cheap
Washable

Cons:
Doesn’t actually DO anything

Option 2: Egg crates

Egg crates are also pretty common, for the reason that they’re cheap, easily found, and actually make the bed softer. They are, however, somewhat difficult to transport because they’re so big and bulky—Despite their squishiness, they don’t compress very much—But because of their high availability and low price, at the end of the year many students just throw theirs away.

Pros:
Cheap and somewhat disposable
Provides more cushioning than just a mattress pad

Cons:
Big and Bulky

Option 3: Memory foam

This stuff is the Mercedes-Benz of college bedding. My freshman year roommate got a memory foam bed topper and just about the entire dorm stopped by in the first few days just to touch it. These things feel absofuckinglutely incredible, but be warned, they’ll slide off the mattress unless you have something like a mattress pad strapping it down. Like egg crates, they’re really bulky, but unlike egg crates they cost upwards of $100 and often can’t be found in stores. But if you really want to sleep in style, overstock.com has some of the best deals on memory foam.

Pros:
Actually feels like sleeping on clouds in the kingdom of heaven
Will give you the most coveted bed in your dorm (read: turns you into a level 17 Sexy Beast)

Cons:
Big and bulky
Tends to slide off the mattress
Mad expensive

Nat Webb ‘06.5 adds: I got a full-size (54″ by 75″, or twice the surface area of your freshman bed) memory foam pad for thirty bucks at the Linens ‘n’ Things at Corbins Corners. HIT THAT SHIT!