Tag Archives: black squirrel

Speaking of Wesleyan-themed songs…

A commenter on the WesTech post pointed out another song that sounds like a mock-up made for Rock and R&B. It’s more focused on the two most popular forms of inebriation on campus and doesn’t actually have a video–just this marvelously sexy still of a bikini-clad black squirrel. Also features lyrical shout outs to Grandma Mocon, the old late night at Summerfields, and the class of ’09.

You Tube: Wesleyane – Wes Chirp

[Edit] “Wesleyane” has a whole YouTube channel, featuring another hit single called “LAX is Life,” uploaded yesterday. Maybe it’s a reaction to the “LAX bro” verse of MIDD KID?

Black squirrel spotted

Gorging on leftover hummus.  Aww!  So cute.

blacksquirrel

P.S. That still doesn’t mean you should leave your non-bio-degradable crap out on Foss Hill.  It’s so much prettier when it’s cleaner.

P.P.S.  But is the black squirrel hung?

While You Were Off Campus

•Squirrels ruled the land. No really, I can walk across campus twice and see nobody except squirrels. It’s kind of eerie, like a post apocalyptic movie.
•Middletown High played Xavier on Andrus field, complete with at least 1000 people and a sweet, hugely loud brass band. M-town won. Seriously, both sets of bleachers were full. It was epic.
•Weshop/Piggies remained about as helpful in balancing my nutrition as it normally is; it’s been closed since Tuesday, forcing me to seek other sources of protein. (a few more weeks of this and I might be forced to have a little squirrel barbecue.)
•Some really beautiful, balmy days have been bestowed on us by the Giver of All Good Gifts. (Incidentally, Middletown has a righteous christian radio station, WIHS @ 104.9 )
•The alcoholic-drink-of-choice transitioned from something iced to something spiced: Hot Cider with Cardamom and Gosling’s Black Seal Rum. (More snow is necessary to complete this transition, but we’re in the grey area…)
•There were no sweet shows, at the cafe or at eclectic or at anywhere.
You didn’t miss much. Except the football game, which was epic. and some quiet.

The Black Squirrel

Wesleyan has its own mini population of black squirrels, though some claim, “THERE IS ONLY ONE! it’s just so fast it’s tricking you out, dude.”

Some people call it the Alpha Squirrel; others just call it “What the fuck was that?!”. In any case, it is a creature treated with awe, and its appearance has been heralded as both a boon and a warning. It is said that the abundance of acorns this fall was the doing of an intricate harvest dance performed by a circle of flaming black squirrels. Furthermore, what conscientious Wesleyan student will ever forget the Great Gray Squirrel Gorgefest of 2005? Word is that the black squirrel sent mind-rays into the hungry hawk’s brain cluing it into the exact GPS coordinates of the unfortunate gray squirrel in order to prevent a hurricane from striking Guam (Please, like I’m the only one who saw The Butterfly Effect).

The best place for black squirrel-watching is the WestCo courtyard, where if you’re lucky, you can see them barking–No doubt some elaborate code for the upcoming war against the skunks.

Black squirrel lore:

  • “There’s at least 4. 4 crossed my path on my way to an orgo test once, and I did badly on it compared to my others, so I have declared a vendetta against the black squirrels, since it was obviously their doing.”
  • “there was originally one black squirrel (the shadow squirrel, if you will) but in recent weeks he has cloned himself 3 times (that’s 4 folks) in preparation for some kind of evil plan/takeover that i am working on obtaining knowledge of”
  • “They say when you see the black squirrel you wake up the next morning really thirsty”
  • “Man, 50 years ago we’d have had it upside-down with a fork up its ass.”
  • “This is actually a statement about race.”

And a quick ditty on getting your hands on this valuable creature (for lunch, or perhaps taxidermy):

  • “a method pioneered at Stanford should help with this one. take a fishing rod, attach a peanut at the end of the hook, and wait. this also works with a bag of weed and people.”