we won’t look like this because this is Mocon in ’84; image from the ‘Save Mocon’ fb group
As we told you just a few short hours ago, Wesleying needs money, and we are selling stickers to help raise it. Because Usdan is the center of our vibrant campus, we are here, braving the crowds, excited to meet some of you in person. (Usdan actually probably is the center of campus at lunch though, right?)
Come say hi and funny, liveblog-worthy things, and read on!
*This post is an updated version of the Eating and Drinking installment of last year’s Orientation Series*
Eating and drinking is a necessity for all living beings, even during your hazy college days. While we all have to adjust our food standards from delicious home-cooked meals to university food, trust me, it could be worse. Wesleyan has many options for dining that you can enjoy regardless of your dietary orientation. Wesleyan was chosen the most vegan-friendly small US school by PETA, and our friends at the Mongolian Grill are always willing to cook-up a chicken tortilla topped with cheese if it’s protein that you want.
This is a part of the Unofficial Orientation Series 2014 to remind you to eat your veggies.
On Thursday night, two P-safe vehicles drove up to Usdan ready to take action. There had been a complaint about students bringing a handle of alcohol (what else?) to dinner. Visibly pissed and ready to write them up, they marched up the stairs, only to find out that the group had filled the handle with water. A simple smell test was enough. Doesn’t P-safe realize that we would be more stealthy about our alcohol consumption?
At least it was a welcome break from all the parties they’ve crashed lately.
“I couldn’t figure out if it was pronounced ‘Ooze Dan’ or ‘you’s Dan.’ ‘Sudan’ solved that problem for me”
Today, Usdan is a no-brainer. It’s where you go to eat. It’s where you go to buy shit. It’s where you go to check your mail. It’s where you go to hold WSA Presidential Debates and watch Obama’s inauguration. It’s your ATM, your band practice space, your WSA office, your farmer’s market. If you’re an incoming frosh, it’s pretty much your natural habitat.
But on August 27, 2007, when Holly and Xue entered Usdanistan for a fateful first visit, things were honestly pretty scary.
The place seemed sleek and corporate. You couldn’t make announcements, like in MoCon. How would anyone find anything out ever? “It’s just like everything else in the world—the values of commerce and circulation reign supreme,” one long-winded commenter bitched. “And the sausage at breakfast was really weird,” observed another. The lines were huge. Like, ridiculously long. And no one knew how to pronounce the name. Yooz-Dan? Ooze-Dan? Uss-Din? Some were quick to suggest “Usdanistan.” Wesleying offered up a campus poll (possibly the first formal Wesleying poll ever). Another student started calling it “Sudan.” Wherever that person is, I hope ze hasn’t stopped calling it that.
So, I’m not here to be your damn tour guide. Mainly because the Admissions Office rejected my application during sophomore year. Bitter, table for one. Seriously, if you want a tour to learn the names of buildings, get at tour guide extraordinaire, Hannah Vogel ’13. No jokes. I am here, though, to tell you about the hip lingo around The Tech. If you need help with buildings and campus locations or you just generally like A-Batte better than me, see his post from last year.
The first thing that you need to know is that it’s generally considered socially acceptable to add Wes in front of everything (e.g., Weshop). If you haven’t noticed already, it makes this adorably amusing double entendre. In that example, Weshop is where we shop. And sometimes it makes truly hilarious combinations (e.g., WesCrew). Take a minute. However, there is the occasional trainwreck, where the combination is so grating, and yet we soldier through to continue the Wes tradition (e.g., Espwesso).
For this post, I initially turned to the ladies of 25B Fountain Ave. for help on what students are saying these days around campus. Then, I realized that I only had one, maybe two helpful housemates. (Sorry, y’all.) But, take comfort in knowing that I have consulted sources much cooler than I am. (Not like that’s hard, amiright?!) After the jump, you’ll find a list of terms that I suggest you make flashcards to learn. Then, carry them around on the lanyard that you will inevitably place around your neck in typical freshman year style for the first couple weeks. As an upperclassman, I’ve grown to appreciate that because it makes your shining new faces that much easier to identify, other than just spotting the freshmen pack mentality.