First, let us marvel at the premise of this website. I can handle the fact that there are places on the internet devoted entirely to children’s jokes. This much was inevitable. What is crazy is that there is an adult somewhere who reads the jokes for a living. I don’t really know how to feel about this.
Second, it should be noted that I take issue with the basic premise of this website. These jokes are not bad. They should not be derided as cute examples of childish attempts at humor. These kids are the real deal. Displaying comic sensibilities far beyond their purportedly tender years, these children are not afraid to lay down some raw material. Click past the jump for a few of my personal favorites …
Henry Sikes ’15 is totally siked about hosting a real live game show in the Butt B lounge tonight:
Quiz bowl is a competitive question and answer game (with buzzers!) that covers subjects like literature, history, science, and pop culture (just like jeopardy but without Trebek… or prize money… or spectators). We meet weekly for informal practices- normally on Mondays but for this week fall break has pushed us to Wednesday. No experience is necessary and absolutely anyone is welcome to show up. Email me if you have questions.
Date: Wednesday, October 17
Time: 8:00 pm – 9:00 pm
Place: Butt B Lounge
Despite living in the “not-newly-renovated second floor of Butts C,” Rachel Fox ’16 has a kick-ass dorm room.
Perhaps most commendable is her innovative use of bleak dorm furniture. After situating her wardrobe diagonally in the corner of the room “to give the space more of an open feeling,” Rachel has perched her three-shelf bookcase on its side atop the wardrobe to create three skinny cubbies.
Phenomenal space-saving skills? She’s got ’em. Ability to reach tall things? I sure hope so.
If you have not yet seen the new Butterfield spaces, this is your chance! Stop by Butterfield B lounge between 2:00-3:00 on Tuesday, October 9. Refreshments will be served, and representatives will be available in all three buildings to show you around and answer questions.
Or if you can’t make it, check out our photos from the beginning of the semester.
Date: Tomorrow, October 9th
Place: Butterfield B Lounge
Wesleying’s View with a Room series kicks off this semester with Eric Lonergan ’15, who’s managed to craft what is probably the most psychedelic Butts single ever—at least since Nat Leich ’12 tin-foiled the walls of his Butt C single to make it look more like a spaceship. Lonergan’s room might be even better. Complete with a mind-expanding ensemble of psychedelic imagery, some sort of lava lamp, the unmissable Houses of the Holy album cover, and a Dark Side of the Moon-emblazoned instrument case, it mostly makes me want to don my dad’s leather vest and go to an Emerson, Lake & Palmer concert. Here’s Lonergan’s explanation:
I like to keep my environment as psychedelic as possible. All the colors and patterns merging into each other help me maintain my awareness of how everything is and always will be interconnected. I live in Butt A 243.
Missing In Action: That classic musty Butts smell.
The renovations and expansions in the Butts that we observed at the beginning of this summer are now complete—that is to say, the Butterfields now have a new identity and meaning to this crop of freshmen.
Some of the new spaces are retrofitted from old COL and Career Center offices and lounges, and others were created with the help of slight extensions to the actual building—the overhang in Butt C, for example, is now an indoor space, though its stone steps are thoughtfully preserved. Kitchens and laundry rooms in each unit, and a fresh coat of Wesleyan Red paint, also mark the dawning of a new era. The freshmen who didn’t get the new rooms, which are air-conditioned, are clearly envious (though some might eventually realize the advantages of living in a single).
And the unmistakable, musty “Butts smell”? “People keep telling me it smells like different things,” said Katie Lindeman ’16 (who is from Amherst, MA) from her spacious new triple. To my nose, it smelled like pepper. Photos of the renovations after the jump.
Robert Don ’15, the St. Louis-based singer, songwriter, bassist, and multi-instrumentalist who casually performed at LouFest last summer with his excellent “pirate rockabilly” band Since 1902, has embarked on a solo career of sorts from—why not?—his Butts double. His first release is Honestly Honesty, a brief EP that contains two promising tracks Don wrote and began recording on his own during his freshman year. Honestly (honesty), it’s pretty good.
“Silence,” the lengthier of the two, offers three minutes of shuffling, jazzy interplay (not far off from Since 1902’s LP) and about one minute of breezy indie pop, with multitracked vocals that sound a hell of a lot like Menomena’s Danny Seim. “In Good Time” is a louder, carefully layered folk stomp, with striking backing vocals and production by 1902 bandmate Justin Enoch. The song made its live debut at last semester’s Musical Madness, with drumming assistance by Dylan Awalt-Conley ’15.
As Don explains the project:
New dorm rooms also means more triples. But ResLife isn’t calling them “forced triples.”
If you live on Lawn, you can probably hear the power saws from your room. If you don’t, here’s the tip: a whole lot of construction is happening in the Butts. Now that the Career Resource Center and COL/Art History departments have vacated the Butts in favor of 41 Wyllys, ResLife has taken the initiative to snatch up the former office space and build some new dorm rooms.
Here’s the lowdown: there will be new dorm rooms for 92 students. Hallways will become common areas. Each of the Butts will have its own laundry room (no more lugging all your clothes to the Butt B basement). As the Argus reported earlier this semester,
The additional dormitory space is part of a larger plan to increase the student population by 120 undergrads, which the University has been pursuing by increasing acceptances by 30 students each year for the past three years. This goal will be accomplished with the admittance of the class of 2016, and the construction in the Butterfields will help to alleviate the increase in triples in other dorms.
Buckle in, 2016—you’re going to be
the biggest class yet another big class, and a whole lot of you will be in triples. You won’t be getting compensated for it, either. As Director of ResLife Fran Koerting explained to me via email, the new triples in the Butts will be sized specifically for the purpose. Consequently, “students in triples will no longer receive a discount nor a point adjustment now that we are able to use rooms that are larger than a traditional double.” Current triple-dwellers: any thoughts on the matter? Since only eight of the new dorm rooms are triples, there’s no word on how this policy will affect frosh assigned to less luxurious triples. (Edit: Fran writes in to clarify: “The other 22 rooms we will be using are triples we have used in the past that are larger than traditional doubles, such as the larger corner rooms in Clark and the triple in Westco, as well as the larger triples we have used in Butterfield.”)
Click past the jump for a brief interview with Koerting about the construction and a gallery of the construction site.
We want to see where you live. No, seriously. We do. Last week we posted a call for WESCR1B$ submissions: straight-up pixxxs of your interior decorating messterpieces, your wall-to-wall carpeting and silk poppies and homemade bird mobiles and bizarre uses of duct tape. You don’t need to have a blog or nothing like that. Digital camera and internet access work fine.
The pic above displays Peter Chu ’14’s room in the Butts, appropriately christened “The Command Center.” If the poster of Vincent and Jules doesn’t shout the message: Chu isn’t joking around. I kind of get the sense that this room needs to be seen, heard, and vibrated to be understood, but for now, Chu’s description will have to do:
The Command Center: equipped with a custom computer (hand-built by me), a 1080p 32 inch tv, an X Box 360, and a 5.1 surround sound speaker system that can be heard from WesWings (I live in the Butts). This is what you miss out on in an Occupy Wall Street tent.
Praise to Chu! Sincere sympathies to his next door neighbor(s).
Want to send in your room (house, microhouse, tent, apartment, whatever) for a post? Email photos (and some descriptions) to staff(at)wesleying(dot)org. Include where you live, or how you live, or why you live in the email. We’ll take care of the rest. (For past posts, click here and here and here and here.
Take a good look at that image to the left. If you’re into girls, you probably already have. But now actually read what their butts say. No, you’re not crazy: they say “Double Down,” as in the relatively new new breadless sandwich from KFC.
The KFC newsroom says (emphasis mine):
Via the creative on-clothing ad campaign, the chicken chain will recruit college co-eds to serve as “human billboards.” On select college campuses, female undergraduates will sport KFC Double Down branded sweat pants to encourage students to try the unique bun-less sandwich.
KFC launched the initiative this week in Louisville, Ky., where brand ambassadors sporting the one-of-a-kind Double Down clothing attracted fellow students across campus with KFC gift certificates. Female students interested in becoming ambassadors at their schools may contact KFC on the company’s Facebook page (www.facebook.com/kfc). KFC will select students at three additional campuses and outfit them with the customized sweat pants, KFC gift checks to distribute and a $500 stipend for their involvement.
Can some girls here please apply? That would be the ultimate irony – PETA’s Most Vegetarian Friendly School blatantly advertising one of the biggest offenders.
Also, how does this help devalue buns at all?
I’ve tried it, and it’s been appropriately described as quite the “double downer.” But if you’re interested, learn more about the (supposedly) 540 calorie wonder and the advertising campaign here.