When I first told people that I had decided on Wesleyan (and then explained to them what/where Wesleyan is, I swear to god, nobody has ever heard of this school), they would say “Oh wow, fall is going to be so beautiful up there! You’re so lucky!” I entered my freshman year with a fervent anticipation of the legendary New England Autumn. I allowed myself to get swept up in the hype and the beautiful foliage. But now, in my junior year, I’m at home for the semester, and I can say definitively that New England fall actually SUCKS.
Image courtesy of our friends at wesleyangeese
It’s winter at Wesleyan. The days are short, you’re not allowed to open the windows in your dorm, and you’re not sure if the cloud coming from your classmate’s mouth is their frozen breath or just their Juul. But winter at a liberal arts college also conjures up a true evil of this world: flocks of Canada Geese.
For those of you who aren’t aware, Canada Goose jackets are the winter coat of choice for Wesleyan students who get monthly allowances and who go to the Bahamas for Christmas. A Canada Goose parka retails for $950, while a longer length coat will set you back $1,050. The most expensive one I found while doing research for this piece was a “quilted blazer” made in collaboration with the brand Henry Poole that was going for $1,695 (it includes straps so you can carry it like a backpack???)
How could something so expensive be so ugly?????
Obviously the prices are atrocious, but what really gets me about all these Canada Gooses (Geese? Gooses? Who knows) is that YOU DON’T NEED ONE FOR CONNECTICUT.