As the semester nears its end, several local freshmen are coming to the realization that college may not, in fact, be the best time of their lives. This revelation has caused multiple Usdan meltdowns and many failed attempts to drink away reality.
“Everyone has told me my entire life that college will be so fun and I’ll make so many friends and go to so many parties” said A ‘23, who chose to remain anonymous due to the embarrassing fact that she only has two friends, “But like, parties can be gross? I’m too scared to admit to all the adults at home who keep asking if I’m having ‘fun’ that I don’t actually like the taste of beer.”
“Man, when I got recruited, I was so ready to be done with high school and just go play lacrosse all day for the Cards” admits Chad McBroson ‘23 “Nobody told me I still had to go to classes and stuff in college! Sometimes I even have to limit my beer pong to one game and then go study and shit. It’s whack.”
Other students have voiced concerns about issues including not meeting the loves of their lives, not discovering themselves, actually missing home and their families a little bit, and not having figured out their “calling” yet. Wesleying suggests that they all just suck it up and lie about all of it like the rest of us.
White, middle-of-the-road, Catholic/atheist kids whose parents went to college and who want masters degrees in business/health. They want better jobs and want to live a green, gay friendly, light on guns, heavy on taxes, health care providing, affirmative action-less world. Okay, it’s not quite that simple, but those are some of the things that pop out in a study of this year’s freshmen by UCLA. View a chart profiling the nationwide class of 2014 here.
The study also found record-low levels of emotional health though.
“The percentage of students reporting good or above-average emotional health dropped from 55.3 percent in 2009 to 51.9 percent in 2010, according to “The American Freshman: National Norms for Fall 2010” survey. That marks the lowest point since 1985, when the survey first asked the question.”
“College tuition is higher, so they feel the pressure to give their parents their money’s worth in terms of their academic performance,” she says. “There’s also a notion, and I think it’s probably true, that the better their grades are, the better chance they have at finding a job.”
Women were especially hard hit in their emotional health levels. Remember folks, OBHS is always there for you (except maybe snow days?). But, in their attempts to further the depression, commenters on the NYT Facebook page were not so understanding:
- “Welcome to the real world. Suck it up.”
- “Wah Wah Wah………… O little babies have some stress?”
- “It’s not as easy as it looks on “Gossip Girl”, huh? Put down the Four Loko and suck it up.”