Tag Archives: emails

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Physical Plant Flushes Bidet Dreams Down The Toilet

Talk about an unusual request. On November 8, Senior and Program Housing Area Coordinator Alexia Thompson sent out this email to seniors in woodframe houses:

Hello Residents,

Please see message below from physical plant.

Physical Plant has noticed that bidets have been installed in some of the woodframe bathrooms.  This is extremely problematic, as they can lead to plumbing problems, and possibly flooding and damage to your belongings.  If there is a reason you need a bidet, please submit your request to the office of accessibility services, and if approved, Physical Plant will professionally install one for you.  Thank you for your cooperation.

Naturally, that got us here at Wesleying asking the important journalistic questions, such as Who installed the bidet? and How “extreme” is “extremely problematic”?? So we went looking for answers.

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Dean Culliton Admits He Knows 4/20 Is a Thing

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This afternoon, students received an email from Dean of Students Rick Culliton, with the mysterious, somewhat ominous subject line “Weekend events.”

Authority figures seem to have a block on admitting they know the kids they’re in charge of take drugs for fun. Maybe they think it’s their fault or something. Dean Culliton decides to characterize the annual smoke storm on Foss as a protest, which I guess is sort of flattering, but decides he can’t bring himself to mention the name of Zonker Harris without protective quotation marks.

He then reminds us that drugs are still against the rules, and we’ll be in big trouble if we take them, so maybe we should think about that. He refrains from reminding us to eat fruits and vegetables and make sure we get enough sleep, but my mom already called me today and she has that part covered:

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Wesleyan’s New “Daily Dose of Happiness”

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My lovely friend Isabella Cucchi ’13 tells me this is the last time she will ever ask me to write a Wesleying post and reminds me of my Wesleying mortality, but then provides a ready remedy for my graduation woes:

Looking for some positive procrastination?

Wesleyan’s new “Daily Dose of Happiness” initiative wants to help you start your days off on the right foot. If you’re interested in receiving a daily positive email, all you have to do is fill out this form. Then, within a few days, you’ll start receiving emails from wesdailydoseofhappiness(at)gmail(dot)com! The emails will be brief and will usually be photos, videos, poems, news articles, recipes, songs, or quotes that we think can help you start your day in a happier way… or at least can help you procrastinate more productively.

Link: Fill out this form.

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Statement: Senior Cocktails are Cancelled Forever, and No One’s Getting a Refund

“The administration has decided that ‘senior cocktails’ will no longer occur in the way they have existed.”

The national media frenzy has come and gone, but the lasting aftermath of last week’s Senior Cocks debacle isn’t going to fade quite so quickly. After a week of tense silence, you knew a statement from the Senior Class Officers was coming. You also knew it wasn’t going to be pretty. Today, it arrived.

The five-paragraph, 600-word email makes clear that last week’s events have put an end to Senior Cocks not only for the Class of 2013, but for all future classes. “Beyond the cancellation of all senior cocktails for future classes, the damage and destruction caused by our senior class last Friday has put our own Senior Week in jeopardy,” the officers write. “There was damage to some exhibits and extensive cleaning necessary at the museum, potential damage to the buses, and possibly damage to the DJ’s equipment as well.” Then there is the damage done to Wesleyan’s reputation among Connecticut venues and services: “The transportation company we have used for our senior events has refused to work with us, and some of our planned Senior Week venues are reevaluating whether they will still host us.” What goes unmentioned in the email is the damage done by viciously mocking media coverage in the week following the event, but that speaks for itself.

In light of this statement, last Friday’s buffoonery went well beyond dinosaur joyrides and escalator injuries. And it was more egregious than vomit on the stairs or gratuitous sex in the bathroom.

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Homecoming Weekend: A Time for Violence

“Given the size of our campus and our openness to visitors, each of us must make a personal commitment to promote safety and security for ourselves and others.”

Good thing your usually paranoid WesParents were kept busy this weekend. Otherwise they might have heard through the grapevine about the inordinate number of P-Safe reports students received. Ranging from the awkward to the truly menacing, each report detailed an account of students approached at night by men, and all of them ended in shouting or physical confrontations. The first one, from Friday night (or Saturday morning, depending on how you operate), seems merely socially awkward:

Public Safety would like to inform the community that on Saturday 10/20/12 at 2:44am a female was walking on Church St and was approached by a male subject who put his arm around her and asked her to walk with him. The male removed his arm and tried to start a conversation with the student. Several other students walked by and the female walked away from the male and into the Exley Science Center. The male shouted out to her but did not follow her. The male then left the area and the student later notified Public Safety of the incident. The student was not injured and declined to speak with Middletown Police.

The student described  the suspect as an African-American male, 5″ 6″ tall, medium build in, his late 20’s or early 30’s, short hair, wearing a black hooded sweatshirt, dark jeans and carrying a backpack.

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