Last week, the Wesleyan community buried its head in shame upon learning that no Wes football player made the Nothing But NESCAC All-Hair Team. Alas, it was a difficult pill to swallow, and we even did two different Zac-Efron-a-la-High-School-Musical dances (this one and this one) to prove we meant business.
However, things are already looking up in the world of NESCAC-themed blog hair rankings: Stephen Rossetti ’19, a frosh from Wesleyan, won the title of Beard of the Year from In The ‘Cac, beating out heavy hitters like Williams’ Vincent Molinari, Middlebury’s Logan Shrout, and Amherst’s Jackson McGonagle. He earned top marks for “fullness, precision, audacity, originality, and arbitrary gut-reactions” from In The ‘Cac’s editorial team.
Don’t Be Shy. ;)
It’s that time of year. You’ve endured, you’ve prospered. You’ve sat through your grandmother’s complaints over Thanksgiving. It is time to reap what you hath sewed. Ye bearded men, ’tis the time to reflect upon what has grown upon your face. Snap a shot of your beard, ‘stache, fu manchu, or even neard (I myself won best neard two yeards in a row). The possibilities for categories are only limited by the possibility within your facial hair follicles. Help us make this roundup better than all the past years!
Before you shave, send your face to staff(at)wesleying(dot)org and put “NOVEMBEARD” in the subject line so we know what’s up. Also include a brief blurb or reflection on your beard, and specify if you want to be kept anonymous.
For past beard roundups, click here or here.
No-Shave Roundup: “My beard enjoys long walks on cold days, shampoo, and fraternizing with fellow beards.”
“As to the whiskers, having never worn any, do you not think people would call it a piece of silly affection if I were to begin it now?” So wrote a beardless Abraham Lincoln to Grace Bedell, the 11-year-old admirer who first suggested that he “grow whiskers” before ascending to the presidency. Had Lincoln taken up residency at Wesleyan, it wouldn’t have taken him so freaking long: this campus has got more great beards than Jamaica’s got mangoes. Some of them look like muskrats, some Karl Marx, and many of them are thriving and growing all year long.
No Shave November is a week past. We howled, you submitted: beards, beards, and porno ‘staches out the wazoo. We’ve finished analyzing texture, follicle count, ‘stache, and general beardliness, and we are ready to post. This year’s submissions far surpassed the volume of last year’s. I suspect that has at least something to do with the efforts of one Jake Schofield ’12, who recently hosted the first ever No Shave party and celebrated “an ancient tradition.” Schofield reports: “Everyone won something, but only one manly man won the Best Beard award. It was unanimously decided that the manliest man of them all, Mr. Ofer Levy ’12, should receive this great honor.”
Click past the jump for Wesleying’s finest beard submissions and a full photo gallery.
Despite the frightfully muggy weather this week, leading researchers agree that today is, in fact, the last of November and tomorrow is, in fact, the start of Decembruary. For some, that spells despair. For others, a visceral sense of relief. The war is over. In a few shorts hours (EST), the (your) (our) (collective) Novembeard is complete. You can shave the growling groundhog off your cheeks.
But don’t. Not yet, at least. First, share the glory. This is a call for submissions: get your beard all wet and send it to Wesleying. Photos, mainly, though I guess we won’t shy away from physical evidence if you’ve got it. Or videos, paintings, x-rays, poems, artistic renditions, time lapse presentations—whatever best sums up your beautiful dark twisted Marx-meet-Hayes facial fantasy. Like last year, we are collecting beard submissions for a Beards of Glory roundup. Once again, every follicle helps.
The offer is open to Novembeard participants of any gender identity and all facial hair varieties: beards, mustaches, chin straps, muttonchops, anything. Please address all beard submissions to staff(at)wesleying(dot)org. Include “NOVEMBEARD” in the subject line, provide a bit of basic info about your beard, and let us know if you’d like to remain anonymous. To see last year’s roundup, click here. (Oh, and click past the jump for an additional note from Jake Schofield ’12, who would also like to be in touch with committed No Shave participants for a riveting competition and eventual Novembeard party.)