In our rush to publish WSA candidates’ statements, we seem to have missed acknowledgment of one of the generation’s most potent political movements. This is an egregious error, and we apologize. Thankfully, a true model citizen among us—John Ryan ’14—has taken it upon himself to speak on Giant Joint’s behalf. Full statement after the jump. I’ve decided to preserve Joint’s original preferred, unorthodox formatting because, you know, why not? Vote here, and please, for the love of God, if you’re voting for Giant J Joint, be consistent this time.
Or, “Ich Bin Ein Deadhead”
So, turns out Wes isn’t the only place with a near-mythical interest in gigantic physical manifestations of marijuana culture (freshpersons: click and learn). This one’s technically a plant, all dressed up for the holidays and no place to go. Huff Post reports today on a German man who decorated a six-foot tall marijuana plant in his home with traditional Christmas ornaments and planned to put presents under it. Unfortunately, our hero’s festive mellow was harshed pretty hardcore when policed discovered the fantastical case of Puff the Magic Christmas Tree and arrested him on drug possession charges:
“The marijuana plant had been put in a Christmas tree stand and decorated with a string of lights,” officers said in a statement, according to the AFP. “When asked, the hashish fan told the perplexed officers that he had intended to add more decorations to the ‘tree’ and place the presents under it, according to tradition.” Times Live reports that 150 grams of marijuana had been found in the man’s home in Koblenz before the tree was discovered.
Let it grow, let it grow, let it grow. I’m not sure what my favorite of the many reader comments is, but for now I’ll call it a tie between “Brilliant and environmentally conscientious … using a renewable plant” and “See, Europe can be as stupid as America.” Merry Christmas, all.
Giant Joint, perennial WSA candidate, has gone on the road, dropping in on Tijuana. Weighing in at 150 tons and composed of 15,300 bricks, Mexican authorities were unable to resist burning ze in a two day long smoke filled bacchanalia. Ze is now slumbering in Valhalla, preparing for Ragnarök waiting for the next election to grace us with its presence.
Howdy there, readers. Though the winners of the WSA Spring 2010 elections have just been posted
, I’m sure most of you know, as I do, that those “results” are totally a part of the SYSTEM, man. Instead of letting the CONFORMISTS herd us around like NOT-VERY-INDIE SHEEP, Wesleying once again
gives you a roundup of the underground candidates who are gonna FIGHT THE MAN: the write-ins.
The real results are after the jump; we can’t let the freakin’ mainstreamers see the truth. They can’t handle it.
As you know if you’ve been on Wesleying in the last half hour, the polls are now open to vote in the WSA elections for next semester. I, for one, highly recommend that everyone roll on over and select (or even write in) their favorite candidates. It’s your chance to help spark up a movement led by some of these potential representatives.
(Made up your mind, but have a vote or two to spare? Everyone needs a good running mate…)
Roll Out The Old, Roll Up The Joint, Write In The Name
Write-in “Giant Joint” in this year’s WSA Presidential elections. Your vote counts!
Despite an overwhelmingly successful campaign last December, Giant Joint was denied hir rightfully elected seat on the WSA. However, the political influence of Giant Joint has proliferated at Wesleyan throughout the semester, culminating in public demonstrations and peaceful protests this Tuesday, April 20. Thanks to overwhelming student support, personal allocations of the Green Fund, and many nimble fingers and minds, Giant Joint is proud to announce that ze has officially completed the enrollment process.
That’s right. Deep down, Giant Joint really is a regular student just like you.
No other candidate fits so well with every party… every weekend, every time.
However, ze is no keg-hound. From the earth and down-to-earth, Giant Joint is always there for deep and meaningful conversations. Not to mention, your music will sound better and your food will taste better.
Keeping a sticky finger on the pulse of America, ze even engages with the sprawling landscape of political discourse on Twitter.
Fellow Wesleyan students, it is now up to you to become a part of hirstory. Remember, you don’t have to light up to lighten up. Polls close at midnight tomorrow; don’t space out on this one. It’s Time For Change: Vote Giant Joint!
Face-off between the WSA presidential candidates last night.
After three years of civic disengagement at Wesleyan, I stopped by the debate last night in Usdan, which was surprisingly well-attended.
True to current WSA President Mike Pernick‘s word, the endeavor was generally entertaining. The three candidates debated heatedly for awhile about various hot-button campus issues, including Spahn’s proposal to pay student group leaders on financial aid, Feiring’s plan to open another campus cafe, and global warming. But the real attraction was the steady stream of insults, ad hominem attacks (and sometimes pieces of paper) that the candidates directed at each other, the SBC, and SJB Chair Scott Backer.
Both Micah Feiring ’11 and Bradley Spahn ’11 came off as very committed to the job, though very different in style and attitude. Both are clearly very serious about winning, especially at the other’s expense.
Meanwhile purported Psi-U-pledge-task-recipient Lowell Wood ’12 was hilariously irreverent, charming the pants off of everybody with a sort of male-Sarah-Palin shtick. Objectively there was no clear winner or loser, unless you already really like one of them in particular. More substantive review from the Argus at some point, probably.
Meanwhile, Giant Joint is back from “highatus”. Dark horse, again?
Vote for your favorite hir here.
It is now Day 4 of the WSA election scandal that has to this point in time kept Giant Joint from assuming the WSA representative seat that it rightly deserves.
Today, protesters showed up en masse, many wearing the color green, which has come to symbolize much of what Giant Joint stands for.
However, while many are fighting for democracy and freedom, others are trying to use fear tactics to maintain business as usual. The recent Blargus Op-Ed written by Dave Wolovsky ’10 is one such example. In it, Mr. Wolovsky urges people not to vote for Giant Joint, blatantly ignoring the fact that Giant Joint has already won the requisite percentage of the vote to claim electoral victory. This seems to embody the main line response to these events, which has been to ignore the truth of the election results, or that an election has even happened (Wolovsky wrote this attack on Giant Joint on December 21, a full two days after word came out that Giant Joint had in fact won).
Wolovsky also slanders the WSA, calling it a (sexual) “liaison,” and “something to piss on.”
He ends his diatribe in a tone we’ve heard before from those resisting change. Resorting to straight up fear mongering, he claims that Giant Joint “won’t save us when Mike ‘the Professor’ Roth decides he knows what’s best for everyone and becomes Mike ‘the Terminator.'” I’ll let history be the judge of that, David. If that’s really your name.
This reporter thinks Mr. Wolovsky should stick to the jokes of the Ampersand and stay out of serious politics.
Hey so it turns out that despite the record-breaking turnout for Giant Joint in this election (just 4 shy of 420 votes), and what appears to be a first-time, much-deserved victory for our old friend and perennial write-in, we might have a Birther scandal on our hands. Has anyone actually seen hir certificate of enrollment? Conspiracy!
Sadly, according to WSA officials, Giant Joint may not take hir rightful place on the WSA next semester as one of the seven Members-At Large unless ze is actually an enrolled student here.
Which would create a dilemma for the WSA if someone named Giant Joint actually showed up next semester. If any of the 416 Wesleyan Green Party voters are truly committed to the cause, you will legally change your name to Giant Joint over winter break.
Yes, GJ’s historic victory may effectively serve as a fuck-you to the student government. But if you can’t bring the establishment down from the outside, why not fuck shit up from the inside? Looking at you, human avatar of GJ’s spirit.
Also check out the full election results to see some of the more ridiculous write-ins – from many ridiculous misspellings of “giant joint”, to “giant spliff”, to “Mytheos Holt”, to “lady gaga”, it was a good semester for democracy.