“I’m hoping I won’t be put into a double with a freshman or anything. Maybe I will end up in Hewitt!”

Pictured: Julia Clemens ’16 standing in front of a tractor that is almost definitely more spacious than wherever she ends up living next year. (JK, summer housing works out pretty well sometimes.)

GRS is currently in full swing, and if past years’ experiences are any indication, it will be a stressful, random, and thoroughly hellish week, full of broken promises, ruined friendships, and confusing numbers to decipher.* No one is really entirely sure how GRS really works, except Director of ResLife Fran Koerting, who, according to campus legend, wrote down all of the secrets of GRS on a piece of printer paper in 1986 and then buried it in her front yard so no one else could find it,** and possibly Ben Cohen ’10, who wrote out this exhaustive guide to housing options that I am linking here for your convenience. It’s pretty outdated, and Wesleying is too busy interviewing thesis writers to update it, so make of it what you will.

On the bright side, there’s good news: I don’t have to deal with that shit this year there is sometimes free pizza. The other good news is that as bad as your GRS number is, you still have it better than Julia Clemens ’16, an unsuspecting freshman who has been cursed with the worst GRS number that exists on campus: 590. Clemens, who is pictured above standing in front of a tractor that may or may not be more spacious than her future living quarters, seems to be handling the situation pretty well. Instead of standing in the middle of Andrus moaning “Why meeeee,” she admits that “it’s kind of hilarious” and hopes to fare okay in the summer housing market (as students often do). “My mom wanted to ‘make a fuss,'” Clemens admits, “but I told her I didn’t think that would help.” (It wouldn’t.)

Here is our full interview with Julia Clemens ’16, Owner of the Worst GRS Number Currently In Existence at Wesleyan.