And it’s already got more stuff in it than you can possibly imagine!
As it turns out, only fifth graders really understood the potential of the Internet in 1995. Well, fifth graders and Sergey Brin.
Featuring fifth-grade students at the Ray Bjork school in Helena, Montana, this newly viral PSA is a relic of a lost era when you had to tell people about the perks of the Internet. Interestingly, these kids are only a few years older than we are, and the video is cut from the same goofy mid-90s cloth that produced this Katie Couric segment and this Argus article, which marvels at the presence of “X-rated photos” and “Bluegrass banjo music” on the World Wide Web.
This year (and last), Wesleying celebrated the end of thesis season by interviewing a colorful bunch of cagey senior writers—documenting their carrels, asking about their topics, their progress, their general cracked-out madness.
In spring of 1995, one fledgling Wesleyan journalist—Philip David ’95, are you out there?—had a different idea. He set out to focus on a less public aspect of thesis-writing life—“to write a sensational and lurid investigation into the steamy underside of sex in Olin thesis carrels.” So David came up with an anonymous survey, placed it under every Olin carrel door. “It probed provocative issues such as sexual conduct in carrels, damage to Olin property, and the dangers of getting caught,” he writes. Below, some excerpts from thesis-writers’ responses, as archived in David’s Wespeak:
“The floor is just the right size—table’s too wobbly/may break.”
“9:30 one morning, me and my girlfriend were fooling around and one thing led to another, and we boned on the desk.”
“I have not had sex [in a carrel]. I don’t find it spacious enough to do the kind of things I need to do.”
“Anyone who says they haven’t touched themselves in their carrels is lying. I mean, it’s impossible for twenty-year-olds to sit by themselves for over five hours.”
“I’m too lazy to go get coffee, so instead I crank it.”
“Masturbate? Of course I masturbate—I’m a philosophy major!”
“When my girlfriend and I were boning she got so excited she grabbed the sprinkler that’s on the side wall and ripped it off. No water came out, and I was able to glue it back on, but I was scared they would find out later.”