Tag Archives: irony

JOIN TH& &MPERS&ND!

Remember when you were a kid and your parents told you not to get up to any “funny business?” Well, fuck them! You’re in college now. If you’re of the humorous persuasion, come check out the Ampersandwe’re the Lehman Brothers of the funny industry, and the sub-prime humor-backed securities bubble is showing no signs of bursting!

We publish humor on the back page of the Argus every week, we make occasional videos, and we’re looking for new contributors, so come on down to the first meeting of the semester. Refreshments both sweet and savory will be provided!

Date: Thursday, Sept. 6
Time: 4:30PM
Place: 52 Home Ave.

"Fair & Balanced"

Middle School Gives Students Birth Control Pill

Shocking headline, I know, but Fox’s clearly unbiased representative – Father Jonathan Morris – presents you with all the facts you need to know to make your decision. Like, the fact that… well, actually he doesn’t mention that the school district has already seen 17 pregnancies in its 3 middle schools. That kind of journalistic crap is left to the Associated Press. But boy, he sure does hate socialism and the radical agenda of Planned Parenthood:

“Mr. Verrier’s idea of a trusted adult is based on socialist principles. He has blind faith in the state. We can only assume he has absolute confidence that the trusted adult in question will also make sure his eleven-year-old daughter never misses a day on the pill. He has equal confidence that the trusted adult will help his little girl make “wise” choices about which guys to sleep with. After all, in this twilight zone where it takes a village to raise a child, only the state knows the confidential fact that the little girl is having sex and taking pills.”

My guess is that Father Morris’ religion is also based on socialist principles, but hey, at least his blind faith is in the right place.

Planned Parenthood has convinced public school bureaucrats and some parents that more contraception in schools means less teen “pregnancy” (meaning teen “births”), and this is all that matters. They fail to say that more contraception also means more promiscuity (What happens when a teacher gives an adolescent male a handful of colored condoms?), and that more promiscuity always translates into more abortion. They don’t bother to do this kind of math, because in their twilight zone, not all numbers (human beings) have the same value.”

Indeed, what does happen when a teacher gives an adolescent male a handful of colored condoms? Promiscuity, of course. Boy, what a crazy day that was when my fifty-something school guidance counselor handed out some condoms in Sex Ed class. Promiscuity everywhere.

I wonder if Fox even realizes that it’s unintentionally satirizing itself?

Confirmed: Galliano shameless and unoriginal

First, watch Madonna’s original American Life video from 2003, below. For the purposes of this post, pay attention to the fashion show. The show and those clothes are cleary exaggerated, done by someone whose main objective is satire. It’s obviously trying to reveal the irony of high society, consumerism, and imperialism, etc… right?

4 years later,
…John Galliano’s spring 2008 men’s collection:
He’s no Madonna. Check out #13. He’s actually doing for real what Madonna did for satire, and very late.

Re: Irony

I was invited to this facebook group this morning. Its description is so so good and made my heart swell as I was reading it. The irony-as-a-way-of-life thing at Wesleyan bothers me to a degree you can’t believe.
You have Claire Kaplan ’09 to thank for the following:

I’m Tired of Being Ashamed of Things I Like
Bands. TV shows. Movies. Towns. People. Websites. Hobbies. Sports (theoretically). Clothes. Stores. Food. Operating systems. Furniture. Hygiene products. Guy stuff. Girlie stuff. Even big stuff, like politics and religion.

College students don’t like to think of themselves as easily led. So, prove it. There is no “I like it ironically.” There is no “yeah, I kinda like it, but at least I know that it’s bad.” There is no “it’s a guilty pleasure.” There is no “no, seriously, this one song of theirs is good — but don’t worry, I realize that they suck in general.”

You know it isn’t ironic.
You know that, honestly, you can’t see how it’s bad. Yeah, you’re probably guilty — but it certainly doesn’t seem like they suck in general.

An obvious companion to this, and too often overlooked, is not liking the stuff everyone seems to have agreed is awesome. The worst is when you go along with consensus, even voicing your so-called opinion to others, and then you meet someone who is willing to voice the opinion that you actually share. Probably everyone feels like a spineless jerk in this situation, but I only know for certain that I personally want to hit myself.

Recent news:

I am hereby outing myself!

Claire Kaplan genuinely likes Evanescence, Natalie Imbruglia, The Juliana Theory, Boston (though I am woefully unknowledgeable about most of their work), Bruce Hornsby, Coldplay, Iron Maiden, Journey (” Boston), KISS, Mike Oldfield (he’s new age), a LOT of kids’ movies like Tall Tale and High School Musical; Miss Congeniality, teen-girl flicks like She’s the Man and Ella Enchanted (wow, this is harder than I thought it would be) and a few adult-chick-movies like The American President. I still like The Best Page in the Universe. I like shopping for offbeat and hippie-type clothes, and can do it way longer than almost any guy, although I hate that stereotype. For awhile, I had a skincare regimen. I think I’m sort of pro-life, and even though I consider myself feminist I really like the idea of cooking food for a bunch of guy friends who don’t know their way around a kitchen, and doing their dishes while we hang out. I’m not sure if it’s still true, but I used to like a good romance novel.

I can no longer pretend to like OR have been pretending a familiarity I simply do not have with: Armor for Sleep, Belle and Sebastian, Coheed & Cambria, Bright Eyes, the Clash, the Cure, David Bowie, Elliot Smith, the Flaming Lips, Frank Zappa, the Futureheads, G Love, Grateful Dead, Iron & Wine, Jimi Hendrix, Le Tigre, Led Zeppelin, Phish, the Pixies, the Shins, and Bob Marley; Snatch, most Tarantino movies, Dr. Strangelove, Farrelly brothers movies, Coen brothers movies, Cool Hand Luke, The Big Lebowski, and Kurosawa. I don’t think Radiohead is as great as I’m supposed to, and it’s so rare that I like a movie deemed “classic” or “a masterpiece” that I’m excited when it happens. I didn’t really *get* Brazil. I’ve never been into awkward-humor or mean-humor, which is why I can barely sit through Christopher Guest movies and usually hate the middle-segment interviews on the Daily Show.

Well-said, Claire, well-said. This should be handed out as a pamphlet during Orientation and Wesfest. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that when self-conscious young people desperate for human kindness are ripped from the loins of their high school, thrown together and left to stew, they will at some point break into some form of the Indie Name Game as a get-to-know-you (or, rather, get-to-know-how-cool-you-are) activity. And since indie as a genre exists to some degree as a masturbatory exercise in obscurity, you know how that goes.

I, Xue Sun, don’t see what the big deal is about The Catcher in the Rye and wrote my college admissions essay about emo. Yeah–I know.

Holly adds: The Catcher in the Rye fucking sucked. In addition, I still listen to the Backstreet Boys, loved The Notebook and have read both of Bridget Jones’ diaries. Viva la fucking revolucion, Claire Kaplan.