Tag Archives: junior village

Wesleyan Way Too Distracted By Oscars To Notice Fire at HiRise

“it’s not like i was prematurely ripped from the womb (my bed) and forced outside practically naked waiting for this kid to put his blunt out”

Some kid threw a lit blunt into a garbage can and set off the HiRise fire alarm, but with the way people are ignoring it you’d think it was the Oscars or something.

According to Luke Wherry ’13, “Some kid thought it would be a good idea to throw away the ember from their hookah into the trash.” Wesleying’s Twitter correspondents (read: @weird_vibes) are on the scene with way more detail about this fire than you can possibly want or need:

Campus Marsupial Report: Lo Rise Possum

ResLife says you can’t keep pets in dorms, but this possum is all like, “Fuck tha police coming straight from the underground.” It’s been spotted numerous times before, but Rachel Pincus ’13 has finally documented the furry adventurer in its native Lo Rise/High Rise Courtyard Metropolitan Area, which appear to be its primary stomping grounds.

According to Pincus’s testimony, the possum, hereby referred to as The Possum, has also been spotted between the last two buildings on Church before High Rise “around like 2:00 AM” for the past two weekends. “I saw him before in September or something,” Pincus adds, but it lives “prolly in a tree somewhere.” (Note: Wikipedia confirms that possums are indeed “at least partially arboreal,” though some species have done well in urban settings. This one has lovely eyes.)

The Possum presently has no name, though Lina Mamut ’13 prefers “Jacob.” Your suggestions are welcomed in the comments section. We’ll keep you possted.