This isn’t a thinkpiece. This isn’t #realjournalism. This isn’t a tortured artist declaring that “objectivity is dead!” I know what you’re thinking: if not these, than is this article even Wesleyan? Is this article even real?
Perhaps more pressing a question is: “Is this day even real?” Johnny Lazebnik ’16 thinks so maybe (or at least thinks we should celebrate it). Let me tell you, it isn’t. Today is more extra than the random ass beach volleyball court behind Bennet (but less extra than the GODDAM TUITION INCREASE THAT THE BOARD UNANIMOUSLY VOTED ON). The folks over at the Career Center see today as “24 extra hours to do something productive.” See Instagram post below: