Apparently The Onion doesn’t like Transformers or Wesleyan’s distinguished alumnus, Michael Bay ’86.
LOS ANGELES—In the largest deal ever made to shit out a movie, Warner Bros. and director Michael Bay announced a landmark $50 million agreement this week to monumentally fuck up ThunderCats.
“I couldn’t be more excited to completely fuck this up,” said Bay, who plans to begin production on destroying the live-action adaptation next month. “ThunderCats has a great story, endearing characters, action, adventure, space-travel, and fantasy. It will be an honor to run it into the ground.”
Read all of the inspired and hilarious Bay hatefest here.
The Wesleyan community can now follow Director Michael Bay ’86 on Twitter. Bay joined recently after growing tired of his series of Twitter impersonators. So far, the director has twittered to Rainn Wilson (Dwight of The Office) and meticulously chronicled his daily antics.
Finally a day off, My brain is just swarming with robots…Probably off to a party tonight, could be awesome. – Mike.
Michael Bay ’86 has been getting kicked around in the press lately, especially by Gawker for his role in a Verizon ad in which he mocks himself and his penchant for big special effects—and even bigger explosions.
And now The Onion has jumped on board, writing that Bay bought advertising time during the Oscars to show a meticulously produced spot in which he receives a CGI-crafted Oscar for best director:
A leading team of CGI experts hand-selected by blockbuster producer and director Michael Bay has pushed the limits of what can be accomplished with special effects and digital imaging by creating a computer-generated best-director Oscar for the 43-year-old filmmaker.
“Viewers are going to be blown away by how believable-looking we’ve been able to make Michael Bay accepting the highest award in film appear,” said senior technical director Zsolt Krajcsik, who also worked with Bay on the 2003 film Bad Boys II. “The podium, the backdrop, the sense of creative achievement that hangs about him—it’s all so vivid and detailed that you’d swear it was real.”
I’m sure you missed the commercial, so when The Onion posts the video, I’ll be sure to let you know.
Izaak Orlansky sends us this whiny rant from our good friends at Gawker.com, in which they bitch out Wes Film Department golden boy Michael Bay about this Verizon broadband ad in which he lampoons his own career. Come on Gawker, let the man blow things up in peace.
– Bay is slated to make2012: The War for Souls“follows an academic researcher who opens a portal into a parallel universe and makes contact with his double in order to stop an apocalypse foreseen by the ancient Mayans.” Oh dear.
Films often feature a US President giving a major speech before a major action is to be committed.
Has the camera moving during most scenes. Very rarely uses static shots.
(2001) His last 3 films all share: a) two male leads at odds with another; b) a cataclysmic event as the narrative’s fulcrumic point; c) the film’s lead female character has i) been a long-haired brunette, and ii) watched the film’s climax from a control room
Actors/characters in his films are almost uniformly shot in tight, emphatic close ups, framed under the hairline and above the chin.
Often uses lightflashes (i.e. lightbulbs and cameraflashes) to enhance scenes.
Often has over-the-top visuals (i.e. key events taking place at sunset or dramatic events taking place behind actors doing routine activities).
Utilizes monotonic but intense musical cues during action-filled car chase scenes. Bad Boys II (2003), The Island (2005)
Movies tend to be divided in two acts. The first one establishes the narrative and introduces the characters, allowing them to bond, usually in humorous and/or romantic ways. The second act is a non-stop action sequence.
Uses shots of aircraft against a setting sun, especially helicopters (Armageddon (1998/I), Pearl Harbor (2001), Transformers (2007)).
Often features a slow-motion shot of an object crashing into, or tumbling towards the camera.
Uses a shot where the camera spins in a circle around characters. (Bad Boys II, Transformers)