Tag Archives: monsterblizzard kanye

If They Named Blizzards, This Shit Would Be Named Kanye

[IMAGE UPDATE: 4:25 p.m. 2/7] New forecasts predict Middletown to be in the 20-30 inch range, and some parts of Massachusetts are going to receive up to 40 inches

I found out that they do, in fact, name blizzards, shortly after writing this headline, but was too proud to change it.  This one is “winter storm Nemo.”  Let me get all my one-liners out of the way first: “Won’t take long to Find Nemo at this rate!” “Guess we should all head to P. Sherman 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney!” “Maybe the storm only speaks whale, and we can ask for help! Moooooooowwoooooowaaaaaawaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.” “Know what this storm’s saying about New England? MINE.MINE.MINE.MINE.MINE.MINE.MINE.”  Good. That’s over with.

Just hours after the 35th anniversary of the legendary “Blizzard of ’78” had her way with most of the Northeast, what I prefer to call “Monsterblizzard Kanye” prepares to storm through Upstate New York and hit Middletown around 7 a.m. Friday morning.

News of this comes on the heels of Superstorm Sandy, Hallowinter Wonderland, Hurricane Irene, and Snowpocalypse 2011.  Somewhere, Al Gore is having an orgasm.