Tag Archives: most annoying liberal arts school

Gawker keeps it coming

Wesleyan Dad Can’t Believe His Child Is Merely Average

Famously annoying liberal arts college Wesleyan has a new president, Michael Roth, who’s kicked off his tenure by making nice to the freshmen, which we know because he has a blog. (Also, related: Regarding our Most Annoying Colleges poll, Roth told the Wesleyan Argus, “I don’t know that I have much to say about this. Gawker is trying to be annoying enough to get noticed (to make some money), but why even pay attention?” Hey, you know, we all have to pay the rent! And not all of us have trust funds.) The blog itself is fine; Roth seems like a nice chap, and really, how down and dirty do you expect a college president to get? But in the comments, a couple of people have taken the opportunity to let President Roth know that they don’t think old Wes is all it’s cracked up to be. In fact, one parent seems especially peeved that his child has not been recognized as the genius he or she is.

The Week in Now

  • Ironically, Joe Newman ’09‘s comic dissing Gawker ended up on Gawker and hence legitimized Wesleyan’s place as the most annoying, pretentious, “privelledged” liberal arts college. (But really, who among us did not see this coming?)
  • In other news, as if Bob Allen’s racist wordvomit wasn’t enough to leave skidmarks in the GOP’s panties this month (with Daily Show coverage, of course), recently-elected president of the Young Republican National Federation, Glenn Murphy Jr. burns an unfortunate legacy for himself as that creepy dude who tries to perform unwanted sex acts on sleeping college guys. I like this article because it paints the Young Republican National Federation in my mind as an organization led by fat, closeted vampires.
  • Got Health Insurance? Young adults between 19 and 29 make up the largest group of the uninsured. Incoming froshies and rising sophies, if you’re on your parents’ health insurance, you might want to have them check their policy to see how much longer it’ll cover you. I have had a couple of friends this year get dropped from their parents’ coverage or state coverage without notice.
  • And a related warning to incoming frosh: the default plan Wesleyan puts you on if you’re uninsured *sucks* (I know because I’m on it and it alone). Covers pretty much nothing short of getting your arms ripped off by a rampaging chimpanzee. But it’s coverage, you know, still, in case you do get your arms ripped off by a rampaging chimpanzee.
  • In New Haven, two computers stolen from Yale last month contained the social security numbers of over 10,000 students, faculty and staff, jeopardizing their financial records. Well, I’d say that trumps our Ambien Hackgate 2007, don’t you?
  • Lastly, this will probably affect very, very few people, but in VIDEO GAME NEWS, I just read that Beautiful Katamari will be coming out on the wii now and not on the PS3 or 360 (which just dropped its price a pitiful $20). But, Guitar Hero III is still coming out on my dinky, yet awesomely cheap PS2, so I’m good on systems I think for another year since realistically, I shouldn’t be playing video games this year anyway with the, what, six billion things I need to do before I graduate.
  • Edit: A commenter informs us that BK will be coming out on the 360. Because I have no 360, I did not pay attention because I’m horrible. I’m sorry :(.

Oh for Chrissakes.

Gawker narrows down the choices to Sarah Lawrence and us. Sadly, there’s no point in refuting this since people who didn’t go to Wesleyan maybe only meet one person from Wesleyan in their entire lives and thus their entire conception of Wesleyan is based on that one person. And that one person? It’s always a LARPER at Comic-Con. Always.

WWZBG?!

I’m just awfully curious now about why anyone would want to “win” the honor of being touted the most annoying liberal arts college by Gawker. Honestly, why?

Considering the essence of “annoying” according to Gawker is embodied almost entirely in Zach Braff’s existence (and we can’t think of a reason not to agree with them on this point), can we not think for a second of where Zach Braff would go to college? Ok, granted, he *went* to Northwestern. But where would he go now? Ask yourself, Wesleying, WWZBG?!

Of the options presented by Gawker, I’d vote hands down Brown. While the appeal of Professor Jeanine Basinger‘s Wesleyan’s mafia would surely send him to the moon, we all know he wouldn’t have gotten the required B+ in the intro film course to continue the major (you know, considering him creating Garden State and what that god awful The Last Kiss movie). Hence, he would have transferred to…Brown. No grades while getting to attach himself to the Ivy League halo? Hello, of course that’s what he’d do! And Brown for its part would welcome him with open arms after Wesleyan’s film department had so sorely bruised his ego.

The logic is indisputable.

Guys, hands down, the most annoying liberal arts college is Brown because we know that Zach Braff would have gone to Brown. We know Brown isn’t actually a LAC, but who cares? The rest of my logic is flawless.

Re: Gawker

You can vote now. Currently Wesleyan is in 2nd place to Sarah Lawrence. Surprise!

I guess you could show school spirit. You could also vote for Oberlin. You know, if you wanted to.

Most Annoying Liberal Arts College

Oh dear. It seems we’ve been given the dubious honor of being listed among the nation’s Most Annoying Liberal Arts Colleges by Gawker. The voting begins tomorrow. Though, fortunately, they are accepting write-ins if anyone’s interested in mentioning our oft-neglected NESCAC brethren. I mean, they have their tired stereotypes, too, you know.

  • Bard: Upstate New York haven for rich, disaffected filmmakers, writers, grade-skippers and artists.
  • Bennington: Hippie haven in Vermont with optional grades and lots of “creative” types. (Bonus: Bret Easton Ellis went there. Then, so did Jared Paul Stern.)
  • Brown (honorary liberal arts college): Eurotrash and rich hipster magnet in Providence, R.I.
  • Hampshire: This “non-traditional” college in Amherst, MA calls itself “experimenting.” Whatever that means.
  • Kenyon: There’s not much to do here besides go drink in the Ohio woods. Also, maybe too preppy for our list, maybe.
  • Oberlin: Asked and answered.
  • Reed: They’re smarter than you. Just ask. Even though they’re baked. Also: West Coast represent!
  • Sarah Lawrence: Breeding ground of coked-up artsy heiresses and the lone faggy heir.
  • Smith: Lesbians and the LUGS who love them.
  • Vassar: Favorite of budding editorial assistants everywhere. Male population: See under Sarah Lawrence.
  • Wesleyan: Our instinctive favorite to take the crown, if only because if we have to hear about one more awesome party at Eclectic we might slit our wrists. Also, heroin is all fun and games until you can’t get out of rehab, isn’t it.
  • EDIT: Clearly Vassar wants the glory just that badly.

    EDIT 2: Okay, some Wesleyan students too. (WHY??)

    …Guys. This is not a pissing contest we want to win.