With all the activism and discussion going on around campus recently, such as about race, upperclassmen might have had an empty feeling at the bottom of their stomachs. It wasn’t like this before. Something… maybe you didn’t know what… was missing from this political discussion compared to ones in previous years.
The answer is: Mytheos Holt ’10, the voice you could trust to always show a conservative/Republican point of view that horrified some Wesleyan students. He may be off campus, but he’s not going away. He has his own opinion on the Cardinal Conservative’s Affirmative Action Bake Sale, over at the National Review Online. Analyzing Prof. Potter’s email to one of the organizers of the bake sale, he concludes:
So let me get this straight. If a form of political speech might possibly offend minority students and their “allies” (whatever that means), that form of political speech is de facto racist, regardless of whether it relies on true premises, or makes a cogent point. This kind of reason-averse tribalism might be understandable from some junior, tenure-deprived pup looking to score points in her ethnic-studies department, but for a full, tenured professor in the history department to send this to a student (who I understand is an underclassman, to boot) is, well, just a little disturbingly overzealous.
I thought that when us 2010ers graduated, all the “do we publish this crazy thing about Mytheos or not, because if we don’t we’re ignoring a topic of genuine interest, but if we do we’re just feeding his egocentric love for campus drama” fuss here at Wesleying would go away. The realization that he really had been doing it in the name of controversy for controversy’s sake only solidified my relief that we wouldn’t have to deal with this again.
“Good job, Mytheos,” I thought. “You pulled off your insane media coup, dismissed liberal students’ lack of serious engagement with your columns as proof of political aloofness when really your arguments were so nonsensical that nobody knew where to begin, and inadvertently perhaps pulled off a weird kind of postmodern performance art.”
The title of this post is the headline of an entirely satirical Ampersand piece I wrote a few weeks ago, wherein Mytheos Holt ’10declares himself “the ultimate troll” and reveals his entire conservative persona to be “a sick four-year-long joke”:
“You been trolled, bitches!” announced the History and Government double major in a final Mytheology column, entitled Wesleyan Viewed From The LOLZ. “The school is my ACB, and my reCAPTCHA is ‘gullible as fuck.’ What now!”
Minor semantics adjustment aside, it’s also the title of Holt’s final Mytheology column—you know, the real one, in the Argus—and if you’ll permit me one fantasy, I’d like to imagine Holt faithfully included my “bitches” postscript before some squeamish section editor put hir foot down.
Oh, what a tangled web we weave when satire and reality intertwine. Like when my daily Onion calendar bears startlingparallels to my actual daily life. Or when I satirically label as satire what is revealed, in some twisted, convoluted way, to be nothing more than satire. Past on Film students will recognize Žižek‘s notion of double-deception: “only man can deceive by feigning to deceive.” But only the Ampersand can do it by accident.