“Nakie is good. Nakie is free. Nakie is nakie!”
Remember back in the day, when Wesleyan’s now defunct Art House would throw the celebrated, twice-annual Naked Party, which MGMT claimed to have performed at? Remember when the administration casts its disapproving glance and shut down Art House, and when Wesleyan’s famed Naked Party switched venues, to Earth House, and advertised all over the ACB, and P-Safe still bared its teeth and contacted Earth House to cancel? Remember that time the New York Times published a 2007 expose of college naked parties at Yale and Wesleyan and beyond, which cites Wes naked parties as “so well known that student tour guides sometimes mention them”? A then-Junior discussed her experience throwing a naked party in her dorm (“people look each other in the eyes more than you’ve ever seen,” apparently). David Pesci, university spokesperson, expressed the administration’s concern that such parties “create a condition too ripe for sexual harassment.”
No. You probably don’t remember, because most of this took place before you got to Wes, and because Wesleyan’s illustrious history of naked parties has been all but stamped out by Big Evil Administrative Overlords, and because Eclectic didn’t even hold its traditional Sex Party shitshow last semester. If you can’t get naked at Wesleyan, where can you!?
Apparently not at Yale—the other prestigious Connecticut university with a colorful history of naked partying. According to the Yale Daily News, the Yale Police Department is currently investigating events surrounding a February 19 naked party thrown by The Pundits, a “senior prank society” on campus. Several attendees ended up at the hospital; at least one mentioned a possible sexual assault at the party, which about 50 students attended. The added detail that this was part of the society’s “tap” process (read: like pledging), and reportedly entailed forced heavy drinking by the Pundits, probably doesn’t help matters:
Alpha Delt will be hosting The Nearly Naked Party this Friday.
Dress to undress! Come dance in a dimly lit basement room full of hot nearly naked college students. What more could you ask for?
There will be plenty of space for unnecessary coats, shirts, pants, and the other things you might have worn walking over. A variety of snacks and refreshments will be provided.
Date: Friday, Jan. 25
Time: 10:00 PM – 2:00 AM
Location: Grotto of Alpha Delt
Yesterday, naked parties were all conservative pundits could think about.
Listen to Susanne LaFrankie interview the author of Pledge and Yale grad Alexandria Robbins about the phenomenon of naked parties on college campuses.
She also fields some calls from her creepy middle-aged listeners about their naked party experiences.
Also Dom Giordono discusses these parties with an anonymous student. He seems frustratingly bent on framing it as an “elite” activity, something the common man just wouldn’t do. Only the elites get naked. Look! Look! I’m a ridiculous conservative and I found yet another thing I can use to debase well-educated peoples! I get a cookie!
Also, here is the transcript for Yale student Megan Crandell’s pretty snarky appearance on Glenn Beck’s show yesterday.
CRANDELL: Well, in a sense, but more than that, there`s a lot of concern to keep it something that`s safe and comfortable for the people going.
And it seems as though the more interesting question is, why is everybody so curious about the naked parties? And I think the rest of the world is envisioning a sort of, like, the ride of the tipsy bacchanals, and I don`t think that`s really accurate.
BECK: Nobody was thinking the ride of the what? Nobody`s thinking that. Listen — OK, Yaley, pipe down for a second. Here`s the thing.
You know and I know, you know — you may not know because you`re, well, “What, sir, I`m just having a naked party because it breaks down barriers.” Every guy that`s going is not going to break down — well, yes, they are going down to break down barriers, but they`re different kinds of barriers, Megan.
CRANDELL: Do you know this? When was the last time you went to a naked party, just out of curiosity?
BECK: No, no, I don`t need to go to — Megan, excuse me. Megan, Megan…
BECK: I`m a guy. I speak for all men when we say, we live to get women naked. Period.
In the media, all you ever hear about are Wesleyan’s NAKED parties. What’s the deal with that? I have never been to one and I definitely don’t oppose them, but let’s give credit to Wesleyan for some of the best theme parties ever hosted…
- Anything But Clothes Party: Yes. This is different from a naked party. You are allowed to wear things, but they can not be clothes. I once ran into a group of people coming from this party dressed in boxes, bubble wrap, flags, and a handful of other things. It’s like those episodes of Project Runway where they have to make dresses out of household items or trash.
- No Pants Party: This is also not a naked party. Essentially, you just have to show up with no pants on. Boxer shorts, leggings, underwear, etc. are all acceptable and encouraged. If you really want to read into the theme, you might be able to get away with a skirt or kilt. These parties should not be remotely sexual at all and are best held among an intimate group of friends.
- 69 Love Songs Party: I doubt many other schools have hosted a party based The Magnetic Fields. You can come up with some pretty creative costumes with song titles like “A Chicken With Its Head Cut Off”. Not that creative? Why not dress up as “Love is Like a Bottle of Gin”? Doesn’t take much of a costume…
- R. Kelly “Ignition (remix)” Party: So this one never happened yet, but it involved dressing up as your favorite lyric of R. Kelly’s “Ignition (remix)”. Similar to the party I just mentioned. In fact, you could recycle your “Love is Like a Bottle of Gin” costume as “so what? I’m drunk.” However, if you decide to host an R. Kelly’s “Sex in the Kitchen” party, be aware that you might have to talk to The New York Times about it in the very near future.
- Mean Girls Party: Here at Wesleyan, we’re all about the rules of feminism…that’s why you can’t have a crush on your friend’s ex-boyfriend. We’re also all about movie-themed parties. Print out some quotes, put them on the wall. Dress up like your favorite characters. Make references that no one would get unless they’ve seen the movie. Yes, the Mean Girls party did have a burn book, marijuana tablets (actually just breath mints), and a big lesbian crush corner. And, no, you’re not invited to the next one…fugly slut.
- The Pope Party: Okay, so this one is a bit more controversial.
Did I forget your favorite theme party? Let me know. Got any good ideas for future theme parties? Well, make ’em happen.
More potential naked party hoo-hah: If you’ve been to a naked party and you want be on CNN Headline News, contact Lola Pellegrino ’08. They’ll arrange transportation to a studio. She was invited to go but she doesn’t want to. Chop chop, they tape at 3:15pm EST this Friday. Her e-mail address is lpellegrino@wes.
Likes: Bush (most of the time), torture as a means of “exploiting known terrorist information”, the smoking industry, big business.
Dislikes: Political correctness, environmentalism, euthanasia, abortion, capital punishment, raising the minimum wage.
Beck has been accused of using “hateful rhetoric” by his critics, some going so far as to call him a “professional hatemonger”.
This could be fun. For god’s sake, if it pans out, someone put it on Youtube?
Wesleyan’s naked parties are so well known that student tour guides sometimes mention them as they escort high school students and their parents around campus. But administrators frown. Last year, a naked party was thrown at Earth House, a university-owned off-campus residence, and a resident assistant formally warned students not to throw it again.
“When we get wind of them, we try to discourage them, because it creates a condition too ripe for sexual harassment,” says David Pesci, a university spokesman. “Do we catch them all? Obviously not.”
Lauren Pellegrino, a Wesleyan junior who threw a naked party two years ago in her dorm, says there are clear but unstated rules for behavior at these gatherings. “Touching is an extreme no-no,” Ms. Pellegrino says. “It’s in very bad taste. People look each other in the eyes more than you’ve ever seen. It’s not a place to pick people up.”