Photoshop magic by Matt Adelman ’13, my personal Photoshop assistant since 2007.
Attention, Wellesleyan. On the off chance you haven’t noticed, there’s approximately a mega-shit-ton of snow on the ground right now, and you’re frantically trying to figure out what to do with it. Go skiing on Foss? Turn
Usdan WesWings trays into sleds? Stay in your room and Instagram luscious storm porn?
As Nemo the Blizzard keeps on trucking, we’ve got a solution. We’re formally inviting all students to build snow sculptures of Michael Roth ’78 on Andrus Field and send us photo evidence at staff(at)wesleying(dot)org. Please put “Roth à la Neige” in the subject line of your submission and include a few images of your magnum opus. We’ll reward the student or team of students who makes the best snow sculpture of Roth with a $25 gift certificate to La Boca, a personalized letter of congratulations typed on my personal Olympia Werke Ag. Wilhelmshaven typewriter (yes, really), and a public commendation on this here blog. The second-place winner will be personally serenaded by esteemed storyteller Brendan O’Donnell ’14 in the (on-campus) location of your choosing. This is not a joke.
Lastly, full disclosure that I shamelessly stole this idea from the Government and American Studies departments at Skidmore, where my brother goes to school. I simply substituted Abraham Lincoln for Michael Roth, because they are in most cases interchangeable.
Welcome to the world of winter. If you can get out your door right now, congratulations, because some WesKids are quite literally snowed in. The snow drifts in Lo-Rise are over six feet high. The cars in the Hi-Rise Lot are buried. The snow is goddamned everywhere.
Click below the jump for some photos and additional commentary. More photos of other places (because I’m not leaving the Rises for a while) will be posted here as people wake up. Happy digging!
You knew I was going to make a Nemo pun. At least I didn’t do it in dubstep.
Well peeps, my Floridian senses are no longer tingling; they’re just frozen solid. Oh, and here’s a comprehensive list of what the fuck is going on with the nemopocalypse/blizzardpocalypse/MONSTERBLIZZARDKANYE/#nemo:
- The university does some email damage control after last night’s Middletown Patch debacle.
- We keep getting shit tons of emails. And Dean Mike reminds us that, in case you didn’t know, there’s a blizzard coming.
- Lots of dining options and on-campus events are cancelled. Half-burnt Usdan pizza at 4pm, anyone?
- Everyone keeps ending every email with “as long as we still have power”.
- Update on the current Usdan situation from Stephanie Ling ’16: “It’s a clusterfuck.”
- Buzzfeed dedicates an entire blizzard post to Nemo GIFs. We all knew this was coming.
- At least blizzard specialists of have a sense of humor; they once named a snowstorm “Gandolf”.
- The storm is really set to pick up around 8-9pm tonight.
- Lots of storm pixxxxx.
- There’s a great abundance of twatting going on.
Terrible Nemo memes after the jump.
While the snow isn’t that bad yet, lots of events are being cancelled in anticipation of the blizzardy chaos. Here’s what we know so far on what’s not happening this weekend:
The Film Series is still on, as long as the Goldsmith has power. We will update you with more info as it comes in.
Here’s your heads up! You only have a limited time to get storm preserves or a nice hot latte.
- Weshop will be open from 11 AM to 3 PM today.
- Pi Cafe will close at 2 PM today
- Usdan will close at 7 PM tonight and reopen tomorrow at 10 AM.
- Summerfields will be closed for dinner; Usdan will serve dinner 4 – 7 PM; Late night dining at Usdan is closed.
- Broad Street Books and Red & Black will close at 1:30 PM today, and reopen at noon tomorrow.
- WesWings is open from 11 AM- 2 PM and 5 PM – 8 PM
Library hours are also truncated:
Let the storm frenzy begin! Run for your life! May the odds be ever in your favor.
More storm info/facilities hours from Dean Mike Whaley:
As of this writing at 8:17 A.M., there’s already a dusting layer on the ground. See you on the other side of Winterfell, you scoundrels.
Sources have been in contact with Middletown Patch, who just posted an article about blizzard closings and included Wesleyan classes tomorrow. The University has yet to make any announcement regarding the impending blizzard, but the Patch promptly removed Wesleyan from its list and apologized for the confusion.
In the trustworthy words of WSA Finance and Facilities Committee Chair Andrew Trexler ’14, “I’ve been in and out of the President’s Office all day and haven’t heard a peep about canceled classes. Sorry, gang.”
So keep the shot glasses and chasers in the cupboards, you winebibbers—classes are not cancelled yet. Further updates when King Roth the Righteous sends further dispatch to his kingdom. In the meantime, prepare yourselves for the Nemo memes.
Update, 10:16pm: Read after the jump to see the all-campus email the administration just sent out concerning classes tomorrow.
[IMAGE UPDATE: 4:25 p.m. 2/7] New forecasts predict Middletown to be in the 20-30 inch range, and some parts of Massachusetts are going to receive up to 40 inches.
I found out that they do, in fact, name blizzards, shortly after writing this headline, but was too proud to change it. This one is “winter storm Nemo.” Let me get all my one-liners out of the way first: “Won’t take long to Find Nemo at this rate!” “Guess we should all head to P. Sherman 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney!” “Maybe the storm only speaks whale, and we can ask for help! Moooooooowwoooooowaaaaaawaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.” “Know what this storm’s saying about New England? MINE.MINE.MINE.MINE.MINE.MINE.MINE.” Good. That’s over with.
Just hours after the 35th anniversary of the legendary “Blizzard of ’78” had her way with most of the Northeast, what I prefer to call “Monsterblizzard Kanye” prepares to storm through Upstate New York and hit Middletown around 7 a.m. Friday morning.
News of this comes on the heels of Superstorm Sandy, Hallowinter Wonderland, Hurricane Irene, and Snowpocalypse 2011. Somewhere, Al Gore is having an orgasm.