From sous chefs Abby Gruppuso ’16 and Wolfi Jorde ’16:
Don’t have any plans for Valentine’s Day? Never fear! Red Wolf is here to help you find love. We will be serving a Valentine’s Day aphrodisiac buffet. What’s the catch? Well, each guest must bring a date from Tinder/Bumble/Friendsy or any dating app of your choice.
This is a Valentine’s Day celebration for the adventurous type, so get ready for a date you will never forget. Plenty of Valentine’s Day surprises are coming your way. So get swiping!! Reserve one ticket, then send us the name of your date. The price for this specific event will be $25/person to cover the cost of ~red wine~. Feel free to keep chivalry alive and pay for your date or have them pay for themselves. (Venmo @Abby-Gruppuso) Dress code is formal/date attire or sexy underwear. Whatever floats your boat.
Wesleyan, I will not lie. I am so excited about this event that I considered letting it get “lost in the internet ether” and go unposted so that I could be the only person in attendance. Alas, I am not so evil. Embrace the night and get thee to this event. From Rachel Warner ’14:
Rowan Ricardo Phillips is a poet, translator, and literary and art critic. He is the author of the forthcoming book of poems Heaven (FSG); of The Ground (FSG), his first book of poems; and When Blackness Rhymes with Blackness (Dalkey), a collection of literary criticism on poetry. He is translator of Ariadne in the Grotesque Labyrinth, Salvador Espriu’s Catalan novel. A frequent contributor
to ArtForum, The New Republic and The New Yorker, Phillips is also a devoted writer of poetico-philosophical takes on soccer, which he contributes to Howler, The New Republic and The Paris Review, and a deep listener to cante hondo and The Wu.
WOW ok everyone today i have just had like the DUMBEST 24 HOURS EVER!!!! lol where to start so manythings have happend. OK so everythign has been dumb and dumber but well start with like lastnight so my friend brought his friend OR WHATEVER but likehes friends with some girl. what???? I know!!! so then like the girl was her firend too or whatever. dumb ho!!! lol. seriously i met her and you know y w
asreally nice like usual and everything and i asked her if shewhat she was into and stuff. so she said some normal stuff like you know movies and whatever i was like what movies???? and i was like no she said she was into you know tranformers I just stopped.
Sky kids SUCH agood movie!!! haah just kidding you know im being ironical or watever lol everyone at this SCHOOL GOSH!!!
I said wait. WHAT. NO MY GOD WOW. SERIOUSLY!!!! lol!!! but it was funny because i said after like ” you mean ironically??? she was like no it’s a fun movie LOSER!!! no one actualy likes that first of tall the gy went to my school second of all so lame like really!! explosions so male-dominated and stuff mickel bay is a dambasse. but i wasnt going to tell her so i just said ” yeah i know transformers is probably a very popular movie at vassar. (she was from vassar)” so you know like i kind of told her but didnt too??? realy clever! hahaha SERIOUSLY ONLY WESLEYNAKIDS KNOW THIS STUFF BECAUSE HE WNET HERE SO ITS REALY OBVIOUS WE CAN LIKE DECONTSRUCT HIS FILM OR WHATEVER. ANYONE ELSE IN THE MICHAEL ROTH CLASS???? UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WORST EXAM EVER I THINK I FAILED THE QUIZ AHAHAHAHA WHATEVER I JUST WANT TO PARTY
oh i almost forgot!!! anyway today was the wors t because i didn’t even get 2 get crunk (wesleyan style!!!! thursdays go college!!!!) yesterday and that was SO ANNOYING and so i woke up for like class or whomever this morning so lame. then i had another class ugh stupid and i went to usdan the stir fry line is so long. seriously. whoever is in charge of the stirfry line is probably a republican because its so dumb!@!!!! liek really wow get a lifeand learnt o do a line but my friends made me feel better when i finally got out of line and we ate you guys the FUNNIEST USDAN LUNCH!!! ONLY FOR WESLEYAN KIDS lol i think i saw prefrosh today???? wesfest watch out world!!!! hahahaha
Oh yeah BEOFRE I FORGET!!! i found the funniest video ion the internet no. Probably more like the cutest seriously i need to do my nomenclature stuff. ami iright???? haha a ok anyway just look
OH> MY> GOD>>>. Seriously i showed veryone i even showed my hallmate and bff <33333333333 love you! and actualyl this wat the cutest<333 seriously so many warm feelings!! but it was funny too liek one of my favoite movies its called napoleon dynamite. it wasnt’ very popular its pretty undersgound you wouldnt know it if you were int he mainstream.. ahahaha only at wes!!!!!
okay well ihave to go thanks for the blog though. seriously i ahve to work tonight ITS FRIDAY WHY DO I HAVE WROK UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! LOL anyway partying hard tonight back light parties!!! so wesleyan haha they are going to be so good. fight fight for wes bye guys
^^^ serously likeKILL ME NOW!!!!!! lol
edit: guys before you ask its a skull to symbolize death because you know i said kill me now??? duh take a literature class seriously lol science majors dont know anything. jk love you!!!
Wesleyan, I will not lie. I am so excited about this event that I considered letting it get “lost in the internet ether” and go unposted so that I could be the only person in attendance. Alas, I am not so evil. 
