Wesleyan seems to have become intimatelyacquainted with the Gastro virus over the past few weeks, but we’re not the only ones: this virus is seriously getting around on northeastern campuses, spreading puke, diarrhea, and cramps like holiday cheer wherever it goes. It all feels a bit like Invasion of the Body Snatchers, but [spoiler alert] even Donald Sutherland succumbs in the end. So it goes.
Hopefully the number of frosh sharing a Fauver room doesn’t also surge 4.52%.
According to a recent post on the New York Times‘ The Choice blog (maintained, as ever, by Gatekeepers writer and NYT admissions guru Jacques Steinberg), Wesleyan has received 10,437 applications for the class of 2016. That’s a 4.52% increase from last year, making this only the fourth year that applications have exceeded 10,000. It also means 2016 is damn close to topping 2014’s record 10,656 applicants—the most selective year ever. (With any housing luck, this year may well be more selective. Fauver’s looking pretty rough lately.)
Not that the article is all about Wes—Steinberg already wrote a book to that effect. You can view the handy application tally chart and see what’s up at a number of high profile universities across the country, from UC Berkeley (up nearly 17 percent) to Columbia (down 8.9%).
“Even if I did not act now, [Naked Quad Run] would end some day. The only question is whether a student has to die first.”
For a school once knownfor naked parties, Wesleyan has been rather quiet lately. Ever since the administration shut down Art House (the annual party’s now defunct venue), wes may or may not be living up to its mention in this Wikipedia article.
Elsewhere, university administrators are cracking down on naked celebrations: at Yale and now Tufts, where President Lawrence Bacow recently banned the Naked Quad Run, an annual pre-Finals Week tradition dating back to 1970. (In previous years, NQR participators have been hospitalized for alcohol poisoning, as well as broken limbs. Think of it like TDF, but naked.) As President Bacow wrote in an op-ed last spring,
“Given that we can no longer manage the run, we cannot allow this ‘tradition’ to continue,” Bacow said in the op-ed. “Even if I did not act now, NQR would end some day. The only question is whether a student has to die first. We cannot allow this to happen, and the Naked Quad Run will not continue.”
Naked run participants were threatened with a full-semester suspension. Without a WesParty Guy to save the day, Tufts students took matters into their own hands: they held an “Excessively Overdressed Quad Stroll”:
“I will smash through your defenses with my tactical tricks why you playing the French, when this is a blitz, fool?”
Laiya A. ’15 notes that this rhyme is fantastic because “fool rhymes with tricks much better than blitz. Also, the line is placing them in the role of Nazis. Why are frat boys filming a chess video??!??!” With all the early decision/action drama going on, I am personally extremely thankful I was rejected from Yale EA back in 2008.
Additional notable quotes:
“cause I’m fly like a g6, Accelerated Dragon”
“I’m a positional guy, she’s a material girl / and she was sitting next to me, like ‘boy will you teach chess to me?'”
No, I’d really prefer if you didn’t teach “chess” to me.
Police chief: “In one room they found about 18 kids and in that room was a wastebasket that they said had about a foot of vomit in it.”
Wesleying is sending its NESCAC solidarity up to postcard-perfect Waterville, ME. More than four dozen Colby students will be needing it after this bust.
In what seems like a nightmarish record in recent college history, 56 Colby students (that’s over 3% of the student body) are facing alcohol charges and on-campus discipline action after on off-campus party Saturday night. The three students living in the party venue, meanwhile—residents of an apartment at 116 Winter St, whose names I’m not including in this post—were arrested and “charged with providing a place for minors to consume.” All 56 are expected to appear Waterville District Court on December 6. As for the leak, these details from the Kennebec Journal:
The summonses were issued after an officer stopped a car on Gilman Street around 8 p.m. Saturday and the driver identified herself as a Colby student, according to [police Chief Joseph] Massey. The officer smelled alcohol on her and asked where she got it; she said she had been at the Winter Street party, Massey said. She was summoned for illegal possession of alcohol by a minor, he said.
Simmons is the first female president of Brown and the first African-American president of any Ivy League school. Since assuming office in 2001, Ruth, as she’s affectionately known at Brown, has
implemented need-blind admission standards, raised over $1.6 billion, opened a new med school building in the Jewelry District, and enjoyed the revival of Brown University’s positioning in the national eye. Ruth has enjoyed a cult-like support for her position, often holding astronomical approval ratings due to her open office hours, her willingness to interact with students on a personal basis, and her general charisma. [MORE LINKS AND A LIL BIT O’ WESLEYAN PRESIDENTIAL HISTORY AFTER THE JUMP]
More recently, Franzen’s fantastic speech was adapted as a New York Times op-ed, “Liking Is For Cowards. Go For What Hurts.” Yes, that kind of liking: Franzen casts insight on the troubled links between technology, commercial culture, and looooove, yet approaches the topic in prose far more lyrical than your generic 2009-era features piece about The Kids These Days and their Twittering Facebook Exploits. Franzen’s conclusion falls in favor of commitment to “real danger” that comes from “real relation to real people”–because “being perfectly likable is incompatible with loving relationships.”
For an excerpt:
To speak more generally, the ultimate goal of technology, the telos of techne, is to replace a natural world that’s indifferent to our wishes — a world of hurricanes and hardships and breakable hearts, a world of resistance — with a world so responsive to our wishes as to be, effectively, a mere extension of the self.
Still, this anonymous student’s application (IvyGate has decided on the pseudonym “Steve Holt,” which provides an amusing coincidence for Wesleyan) offers a few laughs, most notably in Holt’s ideas for how to make class government “unforgettable”:
Build a giant straw man effigy of Dean Malkiel on Poe Field. Place Dean Malkiel inside and burn said straw man to the ground in a sacrifice to the GPA Gods, so that we might be blessed with our pre-grade deflation GPAs.
Reinstate the nude olympics. And by “nude” I mean naked and covered in fluffer nutter and by “olympics” I mean a tribalistic orgy of trance-inducing chanting charged with a shamanistic flow of hallucinogen-fueled energy, taking place in Tilghman’s office.
“Spring Fling committee, you suck,” wrote one shoutboxer—hopefully trolling. “No one wants to listen to any of those acts/bands. Other schools get REAL artists like Drake and Ludacris.” Which reminds me of the anonymous Brown sophomore who responded to hir school’s lineup announcement with:
I have never even heard of TV on the Radio, so they must have great “indie cred.” Sometimes I wish they’d book a band I actually listened to, but that would be too mainstream for Brown’s hipsters.
How do we compare? Here’s a glimpse at other schools’ Spring Fling equivalents and their “REAL artists.” [Not included: Drake, Ludacris.] Some are excellent. Some are, um—not. I’d take Ghostface and Walkmen over Flo Rida and O.A.R., but that’s just, like, my opinion, man. We collaborated with our friends at Brown’s Blog Daily Herald to bring you this handy matrix guide: